Is being fat a choice?

[notevenamum1]

This has all been triggered from a post I read on here the other day that was based around how short men must feel how fat women do when it comes to dating. There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole.

I think this is probably easy to say if you are someone who has never struggled with weight before but if you are someone like me who has struggled and yo-yo’d with their weight their whole life then they would beg to differ. I am both tall and fat, I have in the past been slim(mer) but it was a hell of a battle to get there and was unsustainable to stay there. Even now I am 5ft8, 14stone and convince myself that I am a size 14...I have to be mindful of what I eat every day, and exercise regularly or I would be even larger than I am now.

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Is being “fat” a choice?

Is being judgemental a choice?

If it’s a choice how come in1960 half the planet didn’t make that choice but now they apparently do?! Obesity is an epidemic problem and far more complex. You should read The Obesity Code by Dr Fung. It’s insulin resistance - not choice!!! Cure your insulin resistance and you will lose weight. Honestly - read it - he specifically says it’s not a choice

Well, I am currently four stone overweight. I have always eaten healthily. I just dont like junk food or sugar and have never in my life drunk coke or fizzy drinks.
However, I put on weight easily and have a small frame. My cousins also put on weight easily. My daughter on the other hand is a size 8 to 10 and eats like a horse. She doesn’t care what junk she eats and never puts on an ounce. She doesn’t do any exercise bar the odd walk. I walk every day most days for over an hour.
I think my body doesn’t like carbs, and that may be genetic or it may be due to eating a very repetitive carb heavy diet when I was a child.
My sister eats a lot and has never been overweight however, whilst my brother is like me.
Being fat isn’t always about eating the wrong things or being greedy.

I think there is a small element of willpower but mostly it is not people’s fault. I grew up in a poor country isolated from the west in the first 20 years of my life, growing up no one I knew was obese. There was no fast food, you had no choice but to cook every day and even chocolate was hard to find. Ever since we opened our borders, we have loads of western food and food chains and obesity levels are at now at UK levels, almost overnight!!! People also work more hours, are in the home less because that’s the corporate productivity way of things. So we don’t have time to cook, the newer generation hasn’t learned to cook, we sit down more, and are bombarded by sugary crap at every step. But sure, let’s blame the individual.

That being said, it’s not impossible to lose it but you need to prioritise it over everything else. I am on a diet and exercise program and have lost 10 pounds so far. But it’s been my main focus, I have to actively think about it all the time!!! How can you do this if you have lost your job, have small kids, work all hours, have an illness or disability...I don’t know

The other thing to say is that stress plays a large part in how our bodies burn fat.

It's logical to assume that if they could wave a magic wand most people would choose to be slim/healthy weight.

With the above in mind it's obvious that most overweight people aren't over weight by choice.

So there's something going on.

Making the right choices for most meal times for your whole life is a specific mind set which seems to be getting harder to achieve in today's society. Ironic when the pressure from the media to be beautiful is probably at an all time high.

My weight has yo yo'd over the years. I've lost the same 2/3 stone about 6 times. When i'm 'in the zone' and losing weight i get a high from being hungry and empty. When i'm over weight my misery about my appearance takes over a huge amount of my thoughts. I'm fat in my dreams when i'm fat in RL. I'm always either going up or down. At the moment i'm reducing ...

I was always someone who exercised regularly, enjoyed fresh nice foods but also has a real sweet tooth. I maintained myself at an 8/10. I then went through 6 years of infertility and IVF. I couldn't exercise as much for several years during bouts of treatment and we couldn't afford to do nice holidays etc so our treat was eating out. I put on 1 1/2 stone and was feeling chubby. My BMI was bordering overweight. I had twins which stretched me a bit & then kicked myself into gear. We built a home gym so I could exercise around the children, I run when I can, we shove the children on back of our bikes and ride miles and because I ant the children to eat well we cook fresh healthy foods. Im back to being an 8/10. It's harder to maintain now and if I start munching it creeps back on but I know it's my choice whether I have a cream tea or smaller waist line.

I know my weight is my choice and in my control.

At its base I don’t think it’s always a choice. But you can make choices that affect your weight predisposition. Mainly because I lead the most unhealthy lifestyle of anyone I know and eat so much junk yet I’m still slim and have always been slim, even when I used to seriously binge in university (at that stage my heaviest I was a size 10 but normally hover between a 6-8). It’s not my choice to be slim though I consider myself very lucky. All my health choices should make me larger but they haven’t. So I can imagine the converse where someone’s health choices should make them slim yet they still struggle with weight.

Obviously there are people who have a more typical metabolism where their health choices are directly reflected outwardly on their bodies- but there are many whose aren’t whether it’s those predisposed to be skinny or those predisposed to be fat.

Framymcframe, more strength training and less running would help

That’s very similar to me Laiste. I expend masses of energy and emotional distress to bounce around between being top end of healthy weight and being quite obese. I’m very short so the difference is about 3 stone.

For me I'd say it's a choice, I've been slim, I got slim by exercising a lot and eating 1 small meal per day. My body seems to gain weight really easily and if I'm not pretty much starving myself then I get fat. So yes a choice. I also know of people who can eat loads and not gain. So it's also genetics. I'm in the unfortunate end but it's a choice because I know how I can lose it, it's just difficult.

Like 25lukasiak earlier in the thread, I am a bit of a compulsive eater. If someone gives me a box of chocolates, I'll often eat the whole lot in one evening (and then hate myself and wish I had stopped at two).

My solution is the same hers, ie I simply do not allow any junk food in the house. That way, I can't raid the cupboard and eat kitkats, twix bars, crisps etc in front of the TV in the evenings.

I try to avoid eating too much sugar, which includes keeping an eye on how much bread, rice, pasta and fruit that I eat. I have a sort of relaxed low-ish carb diet.

I do have a fear of getting fat and that motivates me to cut back whenever I see my weight creeping up or my jeans getting too tight. So, for me personally, not being fat is a choice (or at least, it feels like one).

@FrameyMcFrame

I would've agreed with all the posters that said yes it's a choice..... up until I hit meno.

Currently I'm running 5k four times a week and eat under calorie limit. But I've still put on weight this week.
It seems to make no sense.

I've crept up to 12 stone but I'm not eating any differently to the rest of my life.

My DP has lost weight eating the same as me but larger portions and he hadn't been running 20k each week.

So, I'm baffled now

Meno is tough, but weight gain isn't inevitable. The sad thing is as we age we often need less food. I would reduce your portion size and/or increase your exercise. I'm still in meno in my 50s and I can control my weight, but it is of course harder then when I was in my 20s/30s and 40s.

Some people need to take a chip off their shoulder, stop this emotional attacks of "you just hurt me" and employ some common sense fgs.

Firstly, there is absolutely no one who says that it's a choice for everyone. It's just that some people find writing "obviously excluding people with health issues and disabilities" because it's common sense they are excluded! I am sorry, but no one can be that dense not to realise this so I strongly suspect it's just a way to trying to shut down conversations which is uncomfortable for them. Not everyone saying it is for most a choice because they chose what they eat is slim btw... So maybe people should stop the nastiness against slim people. Not ok.

Secondly, you can eat healthily, but if, like me, you eat enough of healthy food for 2 people, you will become size of 2 people. Also, many wouldn't believe how easy it is to make 800 cal salad... I am still in awe at mine.

Re the money. I am actually saving since I started changing lifestyle and losing weight. Because I eat half of what I used to! Obviously there are people who will have problems affording food. We all know that and understand, that poverty is a factor, in my opinion massively combined woth lack of cooking skills. But again. It's quite logical so many just don't add the exemption because they assume logically people will get it🤷🏻

Use that common sense, people! You were given it for a reason!

And again. Having this discussion on MN with disproportionately high number of people with health issues compare to outside of MN is absolutely not going to provide an adequate picture.

A genuine (non-goady/judgmental) question for any medics on here:

Do some medications (and if so, which types) have the effect of making a calorie more fattening for the patient who is taking the medication, than for a patient who is not?

Or is it the case that medications which cause fat-based weight gain, as opposed to fluid retention, do so by increasing appetite, so that it is difficult not to overeat?

I've been fat my whole life.

I'm very short, and just don't seem to have whatever it is that tells you when you've eaten enough (I had it when pregnant, when suddenly it was easy, and I didn't put on any weight).

If I eat like a normal adult, I put on weight. I have to eat like my children to maintain, because I basically am the size of a child (or rather should be - I'm obese). It's very hard, because I don't get the signal, I have to manually monitor what I'm eating and stop when I think I've eaten enough, and as anyone who's dieted knows, it's very easy to over-estimate.

The only times I've lost weight were when I had Glandular fever and could't physically eat, with low carbing (which takes so much effort to plan) and with fasting (lost 10kg on fast 800 - but again, requires planning effort).

I've been a regular gym-goer/exerciser - 2 hours of walking/jogging/day in lockdown - and that doesn't knock the weight off (although I do feel better for it) - I lift heavy weights with little difficulty, have excellent low-level stamina, but only eating strictly controlled amounts works.

So in summary - is it a choice? Kinda. I think it's like a line I just heard on a TV program (this was around privilege, but it works here too) - it's not that you make good choices, it's that you have good choices. ie. most slim people are like that with a lower level of effort. It would be like me telling someone they were making bad choices because they were struggling to lift a heavy suitcase - I find it easy, other people find it much harder.

@LaurieFairyCake I would love to see the research that the surgeon was quoting from. Bariatric weight loss surgery definitely works well for some people, which isn't suprising given it essentially forces them to follow a very low calorie diet and so they lose a lot of weight quickly.
What I find suprising is the back lash against following a VLCD without surgery. I wonder if the same results could be achieved if people were supported in the same way they are post bariatric surgery ? Or does it only work because it is 'enforced' by a physical restraint ?

Would be interested on your thoughts @Newdaynewname1

I can see both sides.

I was a hugely overweight child and a far young adult. I grew up in a obese to morbidly obese family. We were poor. It was the 80s so no fast food by today’s standards but food was mainly chips. My family didn’t exercise.

When I went to university my eyes were opened to new foods, exercise, ways of living. I lost weight, took up running. I went for 15 stone to 9 stone where I have maintained that weight for over 20 years.

Ironically I have been slim longer than far yet I always see myself as overweight due to my formative years so I I can see how weight is a mental health issue.

What I do know, only the person can change. No matter how much I was bullied it didn’t stop me eating. I knew I was fat. Being exposed to new ways changed my outlook.

I like to use a horse analogy to explain this.

I describe myself as a Native breed. I’m naturally stocky and strong, bit of a plodder with moments of high activity. I do well on a small amount of low quality food. You could basically throw me out on scrubland over winter and I’d be fine. Other people are more thoroughbred types. Highly strung people who burn off food quickly. Need to be rugged up over winter and fed hard feed or else their condition would suffer.

I’ll admit it’s very annoying that my body is so satisfied with tiny morsels of food however I’m guessing in a famine, I’m the body type that would survive. Big hips, store fat on my stomach, backside and thighs. I’m peasant stock. Wish I was more fine and gamine but I’m not. I have to work with what I’ve been given and fight, fight, fight to remain an average size.

@80sMum

Like 25lukasiak earlier in the thread, I am a bit of a compulsive eater. If someone gives me a box of chocolates, I'll often eat the whole lot in one evening (and then hate myself and wish I had stopped at two).

My solution is the same hers, ie I simply do not allow any junk food in the house. That way, I can't raid the cupboard and eat kitkats, twix bars, crisps etc in front of the TV in the evenings.

I try to avoid eating too much sugar, which includes keeping an eye on how much bread, rice, pasta and fruit that I eat. I have a sort of relaxed low-ish carb diet.

I do have a fear of getting fat and that motivates me to cut back whenever I see my weight creeping up or my jeans getting too tight. So, for me personally, not being fat is a choice (or at least, it feels like one).

I am the same. I simply cannot have it in my house. If it's here I will eat it. Absolutely no self control when chocolate at home...

It's like when people say that poverty is a choice..

Well in some cases but it still makes you an arsehole to sneer at those struggling at the bottom to better themselves when you sit on your inherited fortune.

Let's say those with a genetic propensity to be overweight ONLY have a 20% disadvantage (It's actually a lot more) I.e. they find it 20% harder to maintain a healthy weight then a slim person. What right do those slim people have to judge someone who has been dealt a shit hand?

In the end the only person who can lose the weight is you. It may not be your fault but unfortunatly its up to you. no other fucker is going to help indeed some are acting very much not in your favour (advertising and fast food)

Also if you look at that "slim people who can eat anything and stay slim". It's not magic. In absolute majority of cases, bar some conditions and exceptions (obviously) they stay slim because they scoffed massive pizza you saw but have smaller and lighter meals around it to balance it and/or move much more, and that doesn't mean just exercise, some people just keep moving nearly all the time like get up from sofa to do that and that etc. I now make a point of having water in a kitchen, not with me in a room so I have to get up and go have a drink regularly. Extra bit of movement. Nothing by itself, but in total it counts.

Of course it is, one can just not eat ultimately. But just because it’s a choice to loose weight doesn’t mean that it’s always practicable to make that choice, not everyone has the capacity for exercise and/or restricted eating all the time, sometimes we choose to prioritise our mental health or the quality of our work or whatever over loosing weight.

frumpety

What the bariatric surgeon said was fascinating. They remove the upper part of the stomach and stitch it so it's smaller. This does two things related to what people are saying on this thread:

1. You can't physically eat more than a small portion as your stomach is smaller

BUT THIS IS NOTHING WITHOUT 2

1. You don't WANT TO EAT MORE as you feel physically and emotionally satisfied as they have removed the ghrelin (hormone) part of your stomach which makes you hungry

So all the short overweight people (like me) on this thread who have to eat 1300 calories a day for the rest of their lives to not be overweight are then 'fixed'

I wouldn't presume to comment on others but I know for me my stomach is grumbling and hungry ALL the time on 1300 calories a day and it's not sustainable for ever - this is why I'm overweight as I've been eating 1500 calories a day or thereabouts for 20 years. I don't emotionally eat or binge and I eat healthily.

Carrying extra weight is extremely complex but if for some it's down to hormones/gut bacteria/gradually 'over' eating by small amounts then they are fixed by the surgery.

He said the surgery is extremely successful and that it saves the nhs fortunes as people get older as it stops diabetes, heart disease, the wearing out of joints etc.

@frumpety i’m not a fan of VLCD as its not sustainable and doesn’t teach new habits. To keep a healthy weight, most people need to unlearn old habits, and learn new ones - that is HARD! With a VLCD, you need to change behaviour twice (to VLCD, and then to healthy eating), so its even harder. Having said that, many morbidly obese people are simply running out of time, so VLCD is the only option to avoid dire health consequences...
One reason quite a lot of people gain weight again even after surgery is that they never learned healthy eating - just excess eating, or crash dieting.
Fat shaming, big is beautiful, whatever - being obese is unfortunately deadly, and in a particularly unpleasant way in many cases. And in about 90% of cases, it’s completely avoidable.