Is being fat a choice?

[notevenamum1]

This has all been triggered from a post I read on here the other day that was based around how short men must feel how fat women do when it comes to dating. There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole.

I think this is probably easy to say if you are someone who has never struggled with weight before but if you are someone like me who has struggled and yo-yo’d with their weight their whole life then they would beg to differ. I am both tall and fat, I have in the past been slim(mer) but it was a hell of a battle to get there and was unsustainable to stay there. Even now I am 5ft8, 14stone and convince myself that I am a size 14...I have to be mindful of what I eat every day, and exercise regularly or I would be even larger than I am now.

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Is being “fat” a choice?

Definitely, Shmurf. All addictions are still choices. They aren’t entirely free choices, but people break addiction by constantly choosing not to give in to them. There are all sorts of things that make that choice easier or harder, it’s not the same choice for everyone, but choice is still involved.

Shmurf,

Gabor Mate has some really interesting views on addiction drgabormate.com/opioids-universal-experience-addiction/

I'd be interested whether most people consider smoking a choice?
We'll it is a choice do you light up or refrain go through the withdrawal process. It is easier to light up and promise yourself I'll give up next week, known the health clock is ticking.
All addiction is a choice the difficult part is working out why we choose it.
It is easier to stay in a situation that is comfortable and familiar, it is very hard to find the will power strength to change what makes you feel good.
I read an interesting easy read book by William Glassier, choice theory it put things into perspective to see most things are within our power to choose.
Some of it is far fetch it really helped me.

@Shmurf

^The thing is that there will always be people affected by different health conditions, but why are these not affecting obesity levels elsewhere like they do here? Do people in, for example, South Korea not have health issues?^

Being fat was also pretty rare over here a few generations back. Do genes just go bad over a few decades?

Yeah. That's what I meant. Plus all the ilnesses and MH issues which in here cause obesity no matter what person eats.

You can't ignore metabolism and hormones in all this
Hormones certainly. Metabolism us an interesting one. I remember watching a programme looking at different people's metabolism and concluded that overweight people actually had a higher metabolic rate than slimmer people.

Helping individuals uncover the root causes of their over eating would help them take responsibility
What I mean by taking responsibity is accepting that they are overweight because of their own doing rather than blaming external factors. Many overweight people remain in dial because the truth is painful. Its very possible to work with people who want to make changes to their lives, it's nil impossible with people who think it's not their fault.

The issue with sustainability is to do with the constant battle with instant gratification.

Its bloody hard to constantly deny ourselves what makes us feel good there and then. Sadly, we are living in a society that values immediate gratification over investment for the future. This is not something that can be changed easily without going through a crisis where immediate gratification is just not available any longer and who wants that?

People have to want to be healthy in the longer term more than the pleasure that comes with their poor eating habits.

From all I read it appears that muscle mass has an effect on metabolism, (small but still) that's why I am now working on building it. If you look at people who successfully lost and kept the weight off they will in absolute majority of cases say they do weights. I think lots of things need to be re thought. We as women are still not encouraged enough to build muscle and strength which is incredible shame. You don't end up looking "unwomanly", just firm and nice muscular, unless you go for body building.
I have never felt this big and quick difference to my body when I kept on cardio type workouts. The posture is better, I can feel my muscles and my butt is now round, not some odd shape.

Obviously workouts just don't work without a good eating too, but I feel like the results of my workouts are making me more motivated to eat right.

I'm really slim, I'd use the word skinny but hate it so I won't. Like a pp I struggle massively to put on weight and hate the way I look so it's not a huge step to recognise that there will be many at that opposite point who just cannot lose weight as their bodies 'want' to be set at that weight. It's really complex and I would never judge most people.

@SchrodingersImmigrant, yes strength building is supposed to be best especially as we age.

I now don't much look at my weight but fat levels. I definitely feel best as it goes down. HiiT training is what does it but OMG is it unpleasant!

For the most part I would say yes but the fact that unhealthy food is cheaper than fresh veg etc, I bought a pack of biscuits in the supermarket yesterday for 32p. I also bought a 6 pack of apples for £1.60. Go figure

I would just figure that apples cost more than biscuits to produce. Lost of things do. It doesn't mean that you have to buy biscuits instead.

I'm not convinced artificially inflating the price of biscuits or subsidising apples would make much difference. People just like eating crap and blaming everyone but themselves as to why they end up fat.

[quote dontdisturbmenow]@SchrodingersImmigrant, yes strength building is supposed to be best especially as we age.

I now don't much look at my weight but fat levels. I definitely feel best as it goes down. HiiT training is what does it but OMG is it unpleasant![/quote]
I am now questioning whether are fit people always in bit of pain or if it goes away😂
I do the Joe Wicks 15 min fat burner hiit. Ouch. And omg. But it really, really, makes me feel the difference. There is a six pack underneath that fat now. I am sure of it! I always given up on cardio like walking and these aimed at women dancing videos because there was really no difference in how my body felt. I sweated etc, but it was just meh as results.

As someone who has always been fairly slim I started to put on weight rapidly with no explanation as to why (although still just within the healthy weight range). I got diagnosed with a health condition that impacted my metabolism. Got put on medication and although I cannot eat how I used to now I have managed to lose the majority of weight I have put on despite having a medical condition that makes it harder.
So I do feel it's a choice. Sometimes possibly not a conscious choice. I think as a society we have been conditioned to believe we need to eat far more than we do. Portion control is a massive issue in the UK. I also feel we put an emphasis on children to finish what's on their plates rather than to listen to their bodies and stop when they are full. This can then lead to lifelong habits of eating more than we really need.

@Shmurf

I'd be interested whether most people consider smoking a choice?

Of course it is. I actually used to be a heavy smoker and did feel at times that it was impossible for me to give up, and that I was doomed to be a lifelong smoker. Quitting for me was incredibly difficult and took several serious attempts, but I finally managed it 15 years ago. I've actually found the same thing with losing weight and (most importantly) keeping it off. It took me a long time and it's something I've got to stick at and not give up.

I do think it's a choice, but if you were an overweight child then you have been set up to have it very tough.

My childhood was very much biscuit /cake is a special treat. So when I was free at 18 and moved out I found it hard to balance. I become obsessed with limiting calories ( being in control), but would take these from sweets or cheap fatty or sugary cereals instead of nutritious food. My mum has a lifelong eating disorder so I found it hard to recognise what was normal. I've learned so much about nutrition since then.

It is balance between being in control of your diet and it controlling you. Food is lovely and enjoyable. I've been dieting to loose my baby weight and I do find it hard when I want a chocolate bar to make a healthier choice, but that is the key.

Earlier I wanted a chocolate bar and had some grapes instead. I still want a chocolate bar, but had some low fat, calorie crisps type snacks.

@lukasiak I can be like you, but I can resist for ages, but I can't have one biscuit. I know this is bad, but I could not eat certain biscuits for 3 weeks, but if someone else opened the ones I like I'd have to eat the whole packet. I can easily not eat ones that aren't my favourites, open or not.

I know fasting is fashionable now, but it can cause over eating once you break the fast. Two massive meals is just as bad as three normal ones if the content isn't healthy and you're not burning off the calories.

If anyone is interested, OpenLearn had some nutrition and health and wellbeing free courses. They take few hours. I haven't done the health ones, but I found other ones interesting

I put on half my (fit) body weight and, for me, it’s definitely choice/depression/tiredness/lack of motivation

@mrbob look the quality of calories counts. You could eat 1200 calories a day from biscuits. Plus you can eat too little to loose weight and your body thinks it's starving and holds onto the fat as priority. Your body will 'eat' your muscle to preserve fat. Weight training would boost your metabolism.

To loose weight generally deficit of 3500 Kcals is needed a week. So you need to under fuel yourself to 500 calories a day, that is tough and your body and mind won't want to.

I've been 9 stone and I've been 11 and a half stone. The NHS says both these weights fall in the healthy range for me. That is a big range there is opportunity.

My son is small and wiry like my dad and sister. He had a horrific sweet tooth (again, like my sister) had a generally balanced diet but can eat sugar crap till it comes out of his ears and he's just very slim. My daughter is three years younger and almost the same weight and height, but a very different build - squishy and big bottomed with squishy arms and plump cheeks. She eats much more healthily, can stop halfway through a piece of cake (HOW?) but her build is tall like her dad's and plump like her dad's family and me and my mum.

Both of them exclusively breastfed, baby led weaning, good never used as punishment or reward because I want to avoid them having the same associations with food that I do but they're just totally different build and metabolism. He's got great day twitch muscles and can do great sprints. She can cycle 15km or do a 4km run with me - she's FIVE. I try to focus on eating healthily, good for every and talk about strong healthy bodies but I am already wincing in anticipation of her teen years and hoping she doesn't go through what I went through trying to starve herself to look like her friends and/or sibling when it's just not a shape she'll ever achieve.

I'm impressed that you have an almost obese BMI and manage to be a size 14. My BMI is only 26 and I'm easily a size 14, though am a few inches smaller than you.

I'm similar to many of you, size 14/16 and I know why, I eat too much for the calories I burn (perhaps my metabolism is slow because I gain weight even at 2000 calories a day). I do think it's down to my choice and I choose food over being thinner. I'm not judging people at all, I know that I good weigh less but I'm happy how I am

I started treating calories like money.
I look at food and want a good money to value - calorie to taste and health ratio. If I want something expensive, I save up for it.
It seems to work. I am stingy😂

@Shmurf

I'd be interested whether most people consider smoking a choice?

I have a friend who insists he's not addicted, just likes to smoke. He can go for days without it so yes, for him, it's a choice.

(perhaps my metabolism is slow because I gain weight even at 2000 calories a day)
A person would gain weight at 2000 calories nevermind over the 2000 some days unless you are really tall or extremely active.

We need a much more compassionate approach to obesity. The much bigger determinate to obesity is our environment rather than personal choice, there is data to support this.

Yes of course people want to need to change too and believe they can, but so many people try so hard to lose weight and fail - why is that?

@Shmurf

I'd be interested whether most people consider smoking a choice?

Yes, absolutely.

And I say that as an ex-smoker. I chose to smoke, then I chose to quit.

I actually found losing weight more difficult than quitting smoking, but I did both. You just have to stop making excuses, accept responsibility for your actions and stop trying to blame others for your choices.

I find losing weight easier than stopping smoking. God the withdrawal was fucking horrible! And I still get cravings. I do enjoy my newer food, I did not enjoy nicorette gums... Yuck