Is being fat a choice?

[notevenamum1]

This has all been triggered from a post I read on here the other day that was based around how short men must feel how fat women do when it comes to dating. There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole.

I think this is probably easy to say if you are someone who has never struggled with weight before but if you are someone like me who has struggled and yo-yo’d with their weight their whole life then they would beg to differ. I am both tall and fat, I have in the past been slim(mer) but it was a hell of a battle to get there and was unsustainable to stay there. Even now I am 5ft8, 14stone and convince myself that I am a size 14...I have to be mindful of what I eat every day, and exercise regularly or I would be even larger than I am now.

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Is being “fat” a choice?

In most cases, becoming overweight and staying that weight are down to too many calories. It's as simple as that.

As an adult woman, you have to strictly regulate what goes into your body. It's much less than you'd think, even to just stay the same weight, let alone to lose weight.

Every glass of wine, takeaway, biscuit, pudding etc. will up your calories and stick to you!

That's why it's a choice. You can either have those extra calories and put on weight, or grit your teeth.

Its a mixture of things.

The individual is the only person in control of the amount and type of calories they put in their body.

However the causes for the persons compulsion to eat in excess can have a huge range of causes. The more ACEs a person has can significantly increase the likelihood of being an overweight adult for example. Yet if that same person seeks help for their weight the medical world only treats the symptoms (the weight) they don’t treat the cause (ACEs).

Until we treat the cause of obesity in that individual it is unlikely they will be able to overcome the cause on their own.

Most people see anorexia as a mental health problem, so why is obesity a choice? I think it's also a mental health problem. Andcdotally I couldn't lose weight till I had lots of therapy for my PTSD and depression, after that I slowly lost weight without doing anything soecial about it.

@Adoptthisdogornot that's a very good and thoughtful post.

You might see a skinny friend wolf down a Big Mac in minutes when you catch up one time and put it down to 'good genes' as to why she is so thin. It's more likely that it's an occasional treat for her and that she eats healthily most of the time OR she eats crap but just way less than you.
^^
This is a key point. A friend of mine when I first met her it seemed like she was eating what she wanted when she wanted and wasn't gaining weight. Whereas the more I've got to know her the more I've recognised that actually she eats relatively small portions for most of her meals, and has the occasional treat but never overindulges on her days calories.

its not the same kind of choice as a pp said in the same way you choose what to wear in the morning, where to go out for a meal- because those types of choices have immediate consequences. Someone very overweight deciding they want to change that, its going to be a long process and the results are far from immediate.

No. My son would say so as he is as thin as a rake and just doesn't eat fairly easily or eats a lot and for him there just seems to be more choice in it than for some other people.

it is not an easy issue as obviously more people are over weight than not in the UK and it is costing the NHS a fortune and one of the biggest issues of our age.

I'm overweight. I regularly exercise. I eat only healthy foods and am conscious of what I eat. I don't eat any sugar (only in fruit), limit carb (no bread etc) and only drink a glass of alcohol at the weekend. I'm 5,8 and weight 14 stone 10lb.
I do have pcos but that's the only health issue I have. Now several years ago I didn't do any of the positive things above and put on weight, after changing to a positive way of life I lost just over a stone and that's where it's stayed. So if I had never been overweight I suspect I wouldn't be now but even though I'm now more healthy than many of my peers no one would ever think it. It's very sad.

Now I'll wait for those people to pile in and say there MUST be some reason why I'm not slimmer, that I'm probably eating way more than I think and I'm just kidding myself because that's what people like to do...judge someone without knowing them.

I don’t think it’s a choice, as in a deliberate intention.

I worked in appetite psychology for a few years and I secretly thought most of the research around me was utterly pointless.

The one project that excited me - as in I thought it was finally getting to the root of overeating - discovered that morbidly obese people scored WAY higher for attachment disorder and in particular much higher in the area of setting appropriate limits in terms of eating.

My conclusion: they’re trying to fill a hole caused by lack of proper love.

I’ve never been overweight (skinny genes) but who among us can’t relate to that! Sadly I don’t know how best to move forwards, counselling I guess.

@maddening

I have antibodies attacking my thyroid - losing or even maintaining weight is an horrendous effort, it really is shit.

Do you have your TSH levels etc checked on a regular basis? If your thyroxine dose is right your weight should be stable. I have Hashimoto's (I assume that's what you have)and if my dosage isn't spot on I gain a little (or lose sometimes!).

I am also tall and overweight. Yes, sorry, it's a choice, albeit not a good one. If I make the effort, I can eat less. When I do that, I lose weight. Nobody is forcing the food down my throat in some kind of macabre foie gras parody, and I have nobody to blame but myself if my joints hurt and exercise feels like an effort.

I would say yes it is a choice. I was always slim and ate well. I got diagnosed with fertility issues and told ivf was an option. I started to comfort eat and then each round of ivf I put on 4-6lbs I think due to the meds. I went from a size 10 to a size 14-16 and put on two stone overall. After my last round failed I decided enough was enough. I started intermittent fasting, cut out all snacks, cut out sugar and carbs and went from someone who hates salads to having them everyday. I’ve now lost a stone (in a month) and will continue to lose the other stone and the 4-6 I gain in ivf before we do another round.

The bit in my brain that lights up when I think of chocolate or cakes is a struggle and I ended up once absolutely scoffing a chocolate bar left ok the side so it’s tough but I am choosing to work ok my health. It took me a long time to accept and go with that choice.

@notevenamum1 when I did calorie counting before I stuck go 1,200 to lose weight. I find the fasting a lot easier though. I do the 15:8

*To lose weight I have to think of nothing else. It has to be my one priority in life. I can't do that. I have done, and lost 2 and a half stone at a time. The moment I take my eye off the ball it creeps back up again though.

I can't make eating and not eating the only thing I think about for my whole life. I just can't*

This is pretty much exactly how it is for me. I'd say it is a choice not to do what is necessary for me to be slim rather than an active choice to be fat because my life feels unbearable when I do that.

Since I have lost a large amount of weight 4 times in 40 years( and by that I mean 5+ stone on each occasion) , plus at least 6-8 times I have lost 2-3 stone, I know what I have to do and how it feels and the effort required. I just don't want to any more. In fact I never wanted to really. I was always doing it because I thought it would transform my life for the better but it never did.

This is only really recently ( in the last few years) something I have admitted to myself. What has happened since then is I have lost some small amount of weight without too much effort ( 2 stone) and I am now class Ii obese rather than morbidly obese and I can exercise and eat quite a lot and stay at this weight. That is fine for me. If I lose more fine but I am not willing at the moment to cut my food back even more so that is unlikely to happen .

So I suppose yes being fat is a choice for me.

I don't think anyone chooses to be fat. But many lifestyle choices lead to excess weight. Of course some people have medical conditions that limit their lifestyle choices, but for the majority of people the choices they make lead to the consequence of excess weight.

I don't think it is judgemental within itself to own that as a neutral fact. I think we all understand that that we are often creatures of emotion, not reason, and that the habits of a lifetime and learned behaviours are hard to change.

Obviously it's complicated but I think a lot of people do choose to be unhealthy.

Driving everywhere rather than walking or cycling, overeating, allowing large portions to become the norm, drinking large milky coffees as the norm, drinking alcohol or sugary drinks rather than water, never doing any vigorous exercise. In most cases these things are all choices and for some will lead to being overweight.

There are always the lucky few whose metabolism means they remain slim whatever they eat and vice versa people who eat sensibly and exercise but continue to carry weight, but they're the minority.

Just as an aside I also think the 10,000 steps thing is unhelpful. 10k steps is not much activity, particularly if none of it is vigorous and I think this sort of thing, although well meaning, can lead people into a false sense of security as to what they then eat.

I take medication that makes me gain weight so I eat less and exercise more to counter balance it. Hate when people use that as an excuse.

Mostly, yes.
More to the point though, I think the outcomes are better if you believe it is a choice. In the absence of a magic pill to make people slimmer, exercising your "choice" by eating better and moving more is the only way out of it. I'd rather take responsibility for that choice than believe there is no way out.
Yes surgery is a kind of magic pill, but not one to undertake at all lightly.

ffks and once again i was waiting for it.those with anorexia do not need to be "thin".welcome to being part of the probklem to why they have to suffer so much more!

I would've agreed with all the posters that said yes it's a choice..... up until I hit meno.

Currently I'm running 5k four times a week and eat under calorie limit. But I've still put on weight this week.
It seems to make no sense.

I've crept up to 12 stone but I'm not eating any differently to the rest of my life.

My DP has lost weight eating the same as me but larger portions and he hadn't been running 20k each week.

So, I'm baffled now

It depends how you define choice. It’s not a free choice made in a vacuum.

I think a reasonable analogy is whether it’s a choice to be poor. In theory there are lots of things you could do to improve your earnings but in reality it doesn’t really work like that.

For some reason I’ve always had masses of will power and been able to work very hard at my job and school. I studied for hours into the night while working a minimum wage job in the day to qualify as a lawyer and I’m now high earning.

I cannot seem to apply this strength of character to control of my body. Genuinely it’s a mystery to me. I berate myself for being disgusting/ lazy/ so on then I think but I’m not lazy generally.

Sorry what a pointless ramble.

another fatphobic thread seeped in diet culture toxic bullshit

As a child I was raised exactly the same as my sister who was always tiny and very skinny (and still is a size 6-8) whereas I was always much bigger right from birth. So it can't be purely down to food choices and exercise.
I hated my body as a teen although I played sport 4x/week and was fit, I had a big bust, curvy hips and flat stomach but I felt fat at a size 10-12 as my friends were smaller. So I went on a diet. Which messed up my metabolism. And I've yo-yo dieted ever since.
In the last 4 years I've fluctuated between 16st and 10.5st. I'm now 14.5st and miserable about it, but I'm fairly certain that even if I put all the work in and lose the weight it will find me again.
If you have a look at Rebelfit on Facebook the page has a lot of interesting info about set point weight and the danger of diet culture, and suggests that it is absolutely NOT as simple as 'eat less, move more'.

Not for me. I have the occsional treat but ultimately I'm the weight I am because of my medication. My metabolism used to be really good and I could literally eat pretty much anything and even after having my DC I was a healthy weight.

Then I had to started taking medication for anxiety/depression which actually supresses my appetite and I have to force myself to eat some days but ultimately makes me gain weight and being diagnosed with epilepsy a few years ago didn't help as the medication from that makes me put on weight too and also supresses my appetite.

I tried another anti-depressant which worked for losing weight but fucked up my epilepsy medication and stopped it from working properly, so I had to go back on the medication that makes me gain weight. When things are relatively back to normal I'm going to be looking into my options medication wise because I have almost zero energy the majority of the time.

Can't win.

I'm 6 stone heavier than I was pre-pregnancy after being on my anxiety meds for over a decade and epilepsy meds for 5+ years and now classed as obese, it really sucks and I can't lose it no matter how hard I try to and being short I really feel the weight.

of course it isn't a choice to be fat. it is so so much more complicated. I was a fat child, I didn't choose what I ate, and I was punished for not finishing my dinner, so therefore I ate all that was put in front of me and as I result I have constantly battled with being overweight. No matter how hard you try, completely reprogramming your brain to accept they way you were fed as a child was wrong is a lot more harder than just 'eating less and moving more'. Especially when you are incredibly close to your parents and the emotional ties of not wanting to believe they were bad parents (they were great, just had a wrong attitude towards food).
As a result, I have 4dc who are all perfectly healthy weights, as I have made a conscience effort to make sure they eat the correct portion sizes. Myself, however, am still on yet another diet plan (i'm overweight, not obese)

Its simple really. Imagine you sign up to one of those programmes where you are stuck in a deserted island. You are starving and eating only 500 calories a day if that. In a month's time, you've lost 2 stones. Your fellow short man is still as short.

Losing weight is hard and it gets harder as you get older. During the menopause, it's a battle against nature with lack of hormones that makes you pile on the fat even when you eat little of it. But you do have some options and control over it.

It's crap when you have to ditch just about all carbs and get on with dreadful exercise routines all this to just about maintain your weight or lose little but there is still an element of control.

As a society, if people totally gave up booze, take aways, high fat content items and half their portions by half, the transformation would be amazing within 12 months.