Is being fat a choice?

[notevenamum1]

This has all been triggered from a post I read on here the other day that was based around how short men must feel how fat women do when it comes to dating. There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole.

I think this is probably easy to say if you are someone who has never struggled with weight before but if you are someone like me who has struggled and yo-yo’d with their weight their whole life then they would beg to differ. I am both tall and fat, I have in the past been slim(mer) but it was a hell of a battle to get there and was unsustainable to stay there. Even now I am 5ft8, 14stone and convince myself that I am a size 14...I have to be mindful of what I eat every day, and exercise regularly or I would be even larger than I am now.

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Is being “fat” a choice?

Obviously you have no control over your height but do have some control over your weight. However some individuals do gain weight more easily than others. Just look at the general differences in physique between people from different countries . There are areas in Africa where everyone is tall and thin while not far away everyone is shorter and stocky. Peop!e have different metabolic rates too. Weight is more related to choices than height but it is too simple to say being overweight is a choice.

@notevenamum1

Very interesting to get everyone’s views. I do not have a medical disorder but I track what I eat every single day on my fitness pal which is incredibly tedious. I aim for 1500 a day but on my worst days I get 1800. I am always honest with myself and log even if I go over so I can look back and see where I have gone “wrong”. I also tend to overestimate how many calories I have consumed. I walk min 10k steps per day and when the gyms were open I also went min 4 x per week on top of that. At the weekends I enjoy long and challenging hikes. I am not unfit but I AM fat. I look like a stuffed sausage and every single day is just a struggle to not be even larger than I am now. Sometimes I wonder if this is my bodies natural set weight and I’m fighting against nature to be any smaller. I do think it’s disheartening to hear that some people would look at me and think I am this way because I am greedy and lazy...i know nobody has said that directly and you’re all very good with your words...but I also appreciate the honesty.

How tall are you and do you weigh / measure everything that goes through your mouth? I have a milky tea habit and when I first went on a diet couldn’t understand why I wasn’t losing until I realised I was pouring 150ml of milk in every cup of tea I had (and I had lots!).

Also 10k steps per day is a good start but in order to lose weight from it you must do it in one go (or at least 4-6k steps in one go) at a ‘moderate’ pace (3 miles per hour). I would suggest aim to get the pace first before gradually building up the length. Then when the walking is sorted get to strength training because that is how we look lean and burn calories without trying.

Have to also say I have severe hypothyroidism and pcos and severe vitamin d /iron deficiency disorders which make me exhausted. I had my metabolism measured and it was ‘severely’ impacted - do you know how many calories I maintain my weight on? (BMI 25, 5 ft 7, just under 11.5stones) 2,000 calories (should be 2,100 for my activity level). You need to come out of the low calorie trap and eat the right calories, build muscle, and eventually the weight should come off.

@BetNoir it's fine to disagree.
I've ended up in some shit situations in my life but I take at least some responsibility for all of them because I had at least some element of choice. Even if the choices were extreme or undesirable, I had an option.

It's a choice unless it's not - e.g. medication / disability that limits mobility.

I don't get it to be honest. If I ever put on a couple of pounds I find it easy to motivate myself to lose them quickly, so I've never been larger than a size 10. BUT I'm not a dick about it because I know to an extent I'm lucky, I don't struggle with self control, but many do.

No, not a choice. A complex interplay of factors including the emotional, psychological, habitual, financial, educational, social, biological, epidemiological, genetic, relating to neurological issues, executive function , cognitive function, education and more. The inclusion, degree and variety of these factors are different for everyone. There is no one size fits all approach. One person might need therapy to deal with emotional eating, another some adhd medication to solve disordered eating, snacking and willpower to avoid junk food. Someone else might need help to deal with an autoimmune condition which means they have no energy to exercise. There may be some overweight people for whom it is a choice or at least there is an element of carelessness, but for the vast majority of people in my experience it is more complex than that.

I think it’s a choice. I’m bigger than you OP though I don’t think I carry the guilt others do. I choose to over eat and not move enough.

I haven't chosen to be fat but my weight is a direct result of my choices, conscious & unconscious, if that makes sense? I'm actively doing something about it but it hasn't take me a long time to mentally be in the right place for that.

I haven't chosen to be fat but my weight is a direct result of my choices, conscious & unconscious, if that makes sense? I'm actively doing something about it but it hasn't take me a long time to mentally be in the right place for that.

I haven't chosen to be fat but my weight is a direct result of my choices, conscious & unconscious, if that makes sense? I'm actively doing something about it but it hasn't take me a long time to mentally be in the right place for that.

For me, myself, I feel that it is a choice, as I’ve changed how I eat at various points in my life and lost weight. Didn’t eat sugar for a couple of years, now losing a bit through cutting out snacks. But between times I have gotten into habits that affect my weight, through my choices.

However, my choices are impacted by so many things, so I don’t think it’s straightforward at all. I also know that I have a body type (low thyroid, pear shape) that’s prone to weight gain, and some people find it easy to stay slim despite eating loads.

And lastly, I’d never look at someone fat and think ‘that’s your choice’ - again that would be an incredibly simplistic judgement and I have no idea what led them there.

For most people, it’s a choice. Most of the day people I know don’t do enough exercise and eat more than they need. It’s simple - you only become fat from eating more calories than you burn.

Of course, some people have eating disorders so lack control of their decisions, some people have health conditions so can’t be as active as they want/need to, and so on. There are exceptions - some people are fat through other reasons. But most fat people are fat because they eat too much and exercise too little.

*most of the fat people I know

For the vast majority yes it's a choice.

I say that as somebody who is slightly overweight. I've been slimmer in the past and if I really wanted to, I could be again. I just lack self control.

Obesity is a choice.

So is being a healthy weight.

I have been obese, and I am now a healthy weight. My turning point came when I accepted that I, and I alone, am responsible for 100% of what I choose to put in my mouth. I am an adult, not a child. I buy and cook my own food. Nobody is force-feeding me with fat, sugar or mountains of carbohydrates, so blaming anyone or anything but myself is a cop-out and an abdication of personal responsibility. I am also the only person responsible for how much exercise I do.

I don't know. I've never been overweight and I don't really diet. I just eat what I feel like eating for the most part, and try to not eat too many sweets and carbs, but not very hard! I will probably inexorably become overweight as I age. I do think I have a choice about this - I can make some changes and eat better. Sometimes I eat fewer sweets and go down a dress size and I most likely will again. In this case, it's pretty much under my control.

But years ago I was on some medication that made me ravenously hungry. Ravenous. It did something weird to me so I was eating and eating and yet lost huge amounts of weight, until the doctor took me off it. I could not, in any way, have stopped eating. All I thought about was eating. It was an absolutely consuming physical experience, like really really needing a wee. It was dominating.

To me that made it totally clear that actually it's not that I have more self control, but that I am less hungry.

There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole

What that poster should have said was the men can't change being short, whereas somebody fat can change their weight (not saying it's easy, just possible).

I’m surprised most people are saying it isnt, I’m fat and yes its my own fault, i don’t have an illness or disability , yes in an ideal world I wouldn’t chose to be fat but I am fat though eating too much and not exercising, all the slim people I know work hard to maintain their weight. My sister doesn’t eat carbs for example .

I'm a bit overweight these days. I didn't consciously choose to be, but there is no doubt that it was my own choices that led me here. I chose to comfort eat and drink after a bereavement, when it would have been more healthy to take up weight training or crochet or something. And now it's up to me to make the choices that lead me back.

@Seychelles98 I think you have completely missed the point. Obviously I do not choose to be fat but based on the post I am referring to...and this thread too, clearly some people do believe that being fat is a choice.

I have found everyone’s answers so insightful and it’s making me think maybe I could try harder. Every day is a conscious effort but it’s not a hardcore drive to lose weight like I would do in my younger years. I guess anyone (without health conditions) can lose weight, it’s staying at a healthy weight without having to monitor every single mouthful which can be really challenging for some people, in my opinion.

As previous posters have mentioned, some people can get away with eating what they want and staying slim whereas others really have to work for it.

I had a consult with a surgeon last week and he was very clear that once your BMI reaches 35 you have almost zero chance of losing the weight and keeping it off.

@LaurieFairyCake I am shocked by that!

This may be slightly missing the point, but I actually think it's easier for men that most of the characteristics that they are judged on (height, baldness, penis size etc) are things that are largely out of their control. They then just have to accept things the way they are and get a chance to move on. The complex nature of weight loss as something that you can "technically" control, but is so unbelievably complex and difficult, is unbelievably frustrating!

He's written over a hundred articles/papers on this. He said the risk of death from obesity related illnesses was really high and thinks gastric sleeves/gastric bypass should be routinely offered on nhs. Even though it costs £11k per person he said long term it saves the nhs much more.

The current waiting time is 2 years (ignoring what's going on with Covid)

It's rarely an active choice. More of a mindset. For some people, the effort not to be fat outweighs all the other shit.