Is being fat a choice?

[notevenamum1]

This has all been triggered from a post I read on here the other day that was based around how short men must feel how fat women do when it comes to dating. There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole.

I think this is probably easy to say if you are someone who has never struggled with weight before but if you are someone like me who has struggled and yo-yo’d with their weight their whole life then they would beg to differ. I am both tall and fat, I have in the past been slim(mer) but it was a hell of a battle to get there and was unsustainable to stay there. Even now I am 5ft8, 14stone and convince myself that I am a size 14...I have to be mindful of what I eat every day, and exercise regularly or I would be even larger than I am now.

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Is being “fat” a choice?

fromdownwest, you really think this is all down to 'thermodynamics', or did you just post that as a snappy 'soundbite'?

Ultimately it is down to calories in/calories out but we are not machines and only the very stupid - or politicians - choose to believe that this is a simple feat to overcome and that spouting 'eat less, move more' is going to get the job done.

YY to 'The Obesity Code' by Jason Fung... it's absolutely fascinating and, if fasting is a way of eating for you, it's incredible how freeing it is.

@Gwenhwyfar

"Your body weight is 80% down to genetics"

Then please explain why countries with lots of cheap high calorie food have many more overweight people than countries with healthier foods. Are you saying that Americans, whose origins are very mixed, have fat genes while people in countries where most people are thin, don't.

I don't dispute that genes can have an effect and can help explain why some people in some countries are fat and others aren't, but it can't be the whole story.

The genetic element is about drive to eat. When combined with environmental factors like cheap sugar laden foods which are inherently addictive that results in obesity. There are indigenous populations that are obese too.

@Gwenhwyfar you would be surprised.... most of us are out of sync with what is healthy. i really should know better (Its my bloody job!), but I do get the occasional surprise when looking at packaging of stuff, or add things up. But then i check weight and nutrition content, which most people do

@LaurieFairyCake go for it! Have the surgery! It was the best thing I ever did

Hi OP,

No I don't think being overweight is anyone's fault.

There are so many complex issues that cause and contribute to excess weight including:

• Genetics - genes that affect satiety (fullness) hormones such as leptin and ghrelin or fat depositing hormone insulin. Genes that affect basal metabolic rate (i.e. how many calories you burn at rest) and that affect the number of calories that you burn exercising (it is not the same for everyone!).

• Medication- anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and neuroleptics can make people put on weight by affecting their metabolic rate (the number of calories they burn) not simply by making people more hungry.

• Stress - again the stress hormone cortisol can affect where and how your weight is distributed. Stress itself can also lead to over-eating as a coping mechanism.

• Sleep deprivation- affects weight- which is why night shift workers are more likely to be on the heavy side, as are nurses.

• Binge eating disorder- sort of self-explanatory. People have as much difficulty as those suffering from Bulimia and should receive the same level of sympathy and care.

• Economic factors- there is a big wealth-poverty divide in Western countries; wealthier people are far more likely to be slim. This is partly about access to expensive nutritious foods, partly because they have more time and money to spend on exercise (playing tennis/golf) and leisure (holidays). In addition if the only nice thing in your day is a chocolate bar, perhaps after a day spent caring or working a challenging job then it's quite different to if you have a day of leisure activities and a posh holiday to look forward to.

Also very obese people who do manage to lose weight often put it all back on because there are factors outwith their control affecting their weight.

No I don't think being overweight is anyone's fault

When I was over weight it one hundred percent was my fault, it was life style choice, eating crap and not moving enough, each of my friends who have gained weight will tell you the same. It was not about any other reason, this doesn’t mean to say others are not at fault and don’t have underlying issues but do not invalidate me by denying me experience.

When I say I was at fault because I was socialising a lot, having fun, consuming too much etc and that’s why I gained weight then you should accept this.

I'm fat. I weigh 16st.
I'm at early stages of trying to sort this. DH and I have both set targets of 4-8lb by our anniversary in a month's time. We are working together for smaller meals, exercise time (DH has worked outside the home through lockdown, so it's juggling the children in non working times).

But the reason we are overweight... For DH its long working hours, portions too big, and recovering from a medical condition he was diagnosed with two years ago.
Me... Depression led to me eating loads of crap, and barely living the house for a over a year. I'm now in a lot place mentally, doing proper exercise and eating less. No longer feel the desire to buy bags of sweets or eat whole packets of biscuits.

It was my choice to eat the rubbish... But it was what made me feel better at the time. I was comfort eating. It's not as easy as it being a 'choice' to overeat. People's relationships with food are complex.

Three years ago I was cycling for miles each day, at the gym 5/6 days a week, had visible muscles. I'm not sure I can get to that again, but I'm going to try my hardest. (Incidentally, I was also 11stone while that fit. Im always rather dense. The lightest I've been since I was 16 was 10st when I had bad morning sickness)

Your body weight is 80% down to genetics; not one single gene but many many genes which influence your weight. If you have crap genes, essentially it is not impossible to be slim but actually bloody hard
That doesn't mean that being obese is inevitable! If that was the case, our parents our be fat, our grand parents too. The reality is that each generation is getting fatter because of the choices we make that previous generations didn't.

Dolmio sauce isn’t high in calories, low fat mince and some pasta sounds like a healthy meal but actually they are eating a load of unnecessary sugar leading to a sugar crash later on so the tired and hungry cycle beginning again
A small portion of this as a main meal is unliky to make you fat. Not ideal but not dreadful. Piling the plate with it will however be an issue.

"There are indigenous populations that are obese too."

That in itself doesn't prove it's genetic though, does it? What do they eat?

@Aroundtheworldin80moves, good luck . You can do it.

Ponypals

How long ago did you have it? Do you have side effects now?

But then i check weight and nutrition content, which most people do
Indeed. I made the stupid mistake of thinking that buying sugar free biscuits would not be so bad. Until I realised I wasn't losing weight despite other efforts. Checked the calories and fat content and was horrified. Threw them away immediately and berated myself for not looking sooner.

Agree with the recommendations for The Obesity Code by Jason Fung. Absolutely eye opening as pps have said. He has some good YouTube videos exploring the aetiology of obesity too which are worth a watch. Since reading the book at the beginning of lockdown I'm over 3 stone down and feeling a million times better about myself. Beating myself up about my weight prior to this was doing me no favours.

Of course it’s usually partly down to what you choose to buy and eat, and to willpower, or the lack of. But I do think some people put weight on a lot more easily than others, and some find it a lot harder to lose weight than others.

OTOH it does irk me when people call it ‘an illness’, as if it’s completely beyond their own control. So many people with genuine, serious illnesses like cancer or MS, where there’s no certain (or any) cure, would do absolutely anything to modify their diet or lifestyle, if it meant they’d recover.
That option is sadly not open to them.

I am 20lbs overweight purely because I consume too many calories along with unhealthy food and drink (wine) choices.

Therefore for me, a woman without health issues, it must be a choice, nobody is forcing me to eat the way I do.

I do think that everyone has a weight that their body is predisposed to be at, for some people it's slightly larger than others.

But I do also believe that even these people could lose weight if they actually tried, and obesity is generally the result of lack of willpower and poor education on nutrition/cooking.

Learned thoughts and behavior from your childhood can impact your eating habits more than you realise.

Hurt your knee? Have some chocolate.
Been naughty? No pudding for you.
Only a pig eats the whole thing.

= sugar makes you better. You deserve and need sugar when you're down.

= Food is your reward. You've 'earned' the right to eat what you like so reward yourself with calories.

= i've eaten too much so i am a pig. I might as well carry on being a pig. It's easier than being 'good'.

I'm fucked up about food. I know i am. I have tried to eat less of what i normally eat or eat healthily in order to lose weight but i can't do it.

I CAN lose weight if i allow myself to do it the way i know it works for me. I have to withdraw from a normal eating pattern and use smoothies, shakes and weird diet bars. I have to stay away from food and the contents of the fridge. And i cook for a large family so you can see how big a thing that is day to day.

Can i add also - that most people will feel better about exercising once they have begun to lose weight. If dieting AND starting exercise for the first time feels like too much - start the diet first and give yourself time.

It's a complicated issue.

For me you could say it's a choice since I overeat and under move so I have put weight on - actually 2 stone since the virus pandemic started. It was/is my choice to eat too much for my current energy needs so I put on weight.

As I said it is complicated though and depression etc contribute to overeating.

@Facemasks

So to sum up, the overweight people say "It's my hormones, childhood, menopause, medication. And I only eat healthy food."

Everyone else says "Eat less, move more. Change your habits. Count all your calories." (Disability permitting on the moving, of course.)

Actually lots of us overweight say the latter too, but we are tend to be ignored or told we are exceptions... I get why many just don't want to get out of the denial though. It quite hurts to realise what you've done to yourself and how hard it will be to undo it...

@Newdaynewname1

Behavioural nutrition researcher here (i.e. I spend my days observing what people eat). To me the top reasons are

• loads of ignorance/lack of education. People just don’t check calories
• massive portion sizes (too much healthy food makes you fat as well). starting with kids being given adult portion sizes. Getting smaller plates helps.
• demonisation of some foods, glorification of others (portion size is more important than what you eat for your weight)
• not counting “small stuff” lime dressings and sauces. a salad drowned in dressing is fairly bad for you
• if you don’t want to eat it, don’t buy it
• bad habits, i.e. people don’t even realise they snack a lot (my favourite case was a lady who ate 200g of chocolate a day - without ever noticing)
• choice - yes, its hard. Being healthy means conscious choice for healthy options and healthy portion sizes
• overestimating activity. 10 minutes walking a day isn’t an awful lot

Best post on here, yet only one person other than me bothers to acknowledge it. At all.

An actual behavioural nutrition researcher as well!

I guess it proves my point that weight is a hugely emotional issue and a lot of people aren't ready to hear ANYTHING on the subject that might help their lives.

Instead it's far better to pile onto anyone who uses the wrong terminology, or is perceived as being insensitive. It's easier to blame hidden, immeasurable factors because we once had a skinny friend who was able to wolf a takeaway.

@SchrodingersImmigrant - It quite hurts to realise what you've done to yourself and how hard it will be to undo it...

Yes this. It's bloody exhausting jumping through the mental hoops of being fed up enough with your size for long enough to want to lose weight.
To really want to lose weight.
To really really want to lose weight.
To really really feel like shit for long enough to want to do it.
To get up one day and say you're going to lose weight.
Xmas is coming.
That wedding is coming.
That holiday.
That reunion.
You fail at doing it for all the target events.
You begin and start to lose it but to fall off the wagon at about 3/6lb loss.
To be miserable again.
To want to lose weight.
To really want to lose weight.
To see photos of yourself and hate yourself.
To wake up one day and begin!
But something ruins it and you fall off the wagon again.
repeat.
repeat.
repeat.
And then ..... something clicks! The weight drops off and you can't understand why it was so hard before!
You spend a year/2 years/3 years/ 4 years looking and feeling good.

Then you go up a size and you promise yourself you'll cut down.
And then another size.
You're eating 'cos you're so happy now! :)
You're eating 'cos you're so sad these days :(

If you have never struggled with your weight it's easy to assume that all over weight people you see out and about have been overweight for years and years. It's also easy to assume that all the slim people you see have always been slim and will still be slim this time next year.

The truth is that lots of people aren't 'fat people' or 'slim people' but are on their way up or down. Again. And again. And it's bloody exhausting. The whole thing!

It's a choice although not usually a conscious choice. People choose the amount of food they eat...

@Laiste and don't forget that that chicken bites from place nearby are fucking delicious and so you just end up having them all the time because they are simply fucking delicious.🙄

I have realised now on 1400 cal a day that the food I make is actually more delicious and it doesn't make me feel bad. It makes me feel happy and full. I could live like that for ever tbh.

Also I think taste buds change when you come off processed food Which is amazing.

Some posters give examples about how they make a deliberate decision to avoid takeaways or force themselves to an exercise class or whatever in order to stay slim with the implication that that's all anyone needs to do if only they demonstrated a little willpower. Now imagine that because of genetics or upbringing or mental health issues fucking your body over you did all that but at best it only resulted in you not becoming even more obese let alone getting slim. It takes some willpower just to stay at that level. Whilst it’s technically possible to cut back even further and spend the rest of your life only eating the most basic of diets plus exercising shitloads in order to achieve slimness it's no way to live and people shouldn’t be judged for not doing so any more than someone on benefits should be judged for not living the most frugal joyless life possible until they find themselves a job.

I think it absolutely is a choice. However, for some people, it's a simple, easy choice. For others, it's a complex, difficult choice.

When I was younger, I ate what I wanted. I wasn't skinny but I wasn't fat either. If I put on weight over holidays or christmas, I'd just cut back for a few weeks and I'd lose it again. At the time, it was a simple choice. I chose to enjoy excessive eating at those times and then I chose to cut back and lose it again as it was easy to do so.

As I got older, it got harder to lose that weight. I'm now post-menopausal and have put on over a stone in the last year. Cutting back the way I used to is not working. I have now to make the choice as to whether I want to put in the seriously hard effort of losing that weight or just accept that I am now fat and continue to enjoy food/drink. I'm currently accepting but that might change at some stage.