Is being fat a choice?

[notevenamum1]

This has all been triggered from a post I read on here the other day that was based around how short men must feel how fat women do when it comes to dating. There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole.

I think this is probably easy to say if you are someone who has never struggled with weight before but if you are someone like me who has struggled and yo-yo’d with their weight their whole life then they would beg to differ. I am both tall and fat, I have in the past been slim(mer) but it was a hell of a battle to get there and was unsustainable to stay there. Even now I am 5ft8, 14stone and convince myself that I am a size 14...I have to be mindful of what I eat every day, and exercise regularly or I would be even larger than I am now.

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Is being “fat” a choice?

@Astella22

No one wants to be overweight - it’s not a choice

I know a few men in their mid to late 50s who know they're fat, but are quite happy with it. I suspect there are fewer women who feel like that, including those who claim to be pro-fat.

I work hard at being slim. But although it is an effort, it is one worth it for me.

I think people do view anorexics as having a choice: that is why those who love them get so frustrated. It is just that they are also a source or amazement at their willpower and people with a binge eating disorder are viewed as out of control. It is a moral judgement of different ends of the spectrum.

Always in these discussions there are those who say that they would get fat if they didn't exercise a choice to keep slim, and those saying that overeating is more than a behaviour and that it is a form of addiction or mental illness or a result of the food industry or deprivation etc etc.

It is very much the same as other forms of compulsive behaviour. It is possible to view alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, shopping, as illnesses or as lack of will power and control. Or both at the same time.

As someone who has been a victim of the violence of alcoholics, I tend to want to put some moral responsibility onto the proponent of the behaviour rather than see them as a victim. I want to give them some choice so that I can hold them responsible. I would say we go through the same thought processes when we want to hold the overweight accountable.

I have been an anorexic. As someone with a severe and enduring mental illness I take a lot of drugs with the known side effect of weight gain. It is my absolute goal to stay slim and I achieve this. So it is tempting for me to attribute the same power to everyone else with regard to their weight. And sometimes I do.

But I have absolutely no way of experiencing the thought processes and impulses of any other person: their yearning for food might be much greater than mine has ever been and impossible to control.

It is an ambiguous issue.

Just because you can cope doesn't mark you out as special, it makes you extremely fortunate, notwithstanding the work you do to facilitate it
I don't consider special at all, but I also don't consider that it's luck that makes me say no when others say yes.

In the end I don't really care what others do for themselves. if they want to stick to the thought that those who manage (in my case just about) do so because they are just fortunate whilst they themselves are just unlucky, that's their choice. In the end, each to their own.

I just know in my case that I feel much much happier in every way when I try everything to remain slim rather than just accepting defeat.

I'm just about to do an pine hiit class (and yes, it is perfectly appropriate for a person overweight). I really really don't want to. All I wish when I do it is for it to be over. But I know it will be good for me so I'm going to force myself.

If you call that fortunate and special, then we are clearly very different people.

Weight is a very complex issue. I have yo yoed over the years between 8 stone and 18 and 26 stone.
I don't want to be fat. Last year I got down to 11 1/2 stone and I felt great but I struggled to loose more. Than rl shit happened (before Lockdown) and I piled tbe weight back on . Now 14 stone.
However I am definitely fitter than before as I walk 10KM a day on average. Also one of these nutters who do 50km walks for fun.

Ignore first sentence. 8 stone and 16 stone.

"It is our choice to pick crap food at the supermarket, it is our choice not to do a 1/2 gym session every day or so.

Let's blame the individual because it is the individual making the wrong choices. This constant blaming of society for the choices people make is what is polluting our lives. We have more options and knowledge than ever and yet it's never our fault."

It's both, isn't it? We definitely live in obesogenic society. There's another thread about that at the moment. However, we don't all react the same within this environment, so personal behaviour definitely comes into it as well.

I went to an interesting study day on obesity last year. Your body weight is 80% down to genetics; not one single gene but many many genes which influence your weight. If you have crap genes, essentially it is not impossible to be slim but actually bloody hard.
All the messages we have been fed about eating less and moving more, low fat diets, constant snacking etc have also made things more complicated because they are not founded in science.
I don’t think looking at obesity as a ‘choice’ is helpful and is not helpful for people who are genuinely struggling with their weight.
If people are interested I suggest The Obesity Code by Jason Fung as an eye opening read

8 stone at aged 18. Even my fingers are fat.

" You can whip up a healthy meal in 20 minutes that doesn’t involve any skill (trust me blushgrin) It’s always priorities."

20 minutes is too long for me to spend cooking something I will eat in 5 minutes (live alone). Very occasionally, I'll do a batch cook, but it's not worth it for one meal.
It's perfectly possible to avoid being overweight while not cooking though. Cooking skills are only a small part of it.

Interestingly, on the “ways your parents fucked you up” thread, so many of the posts are about food/body issues.

Caitlin Moran said in one if her books that overeating is basically the only ‘addiction’ or escapism (and is add comfort and pleasure) available to mothers/carers who can’t run away or get high etc, and must be able to function day in day out, often under massive pressure and no support.

In think we can all afford to be a bit compassionate to each other

If it's 80% down to genetics I'm the thinnest in my family by almost 10 stone - obviously everyone else is dead from heart disease, cancer...,

Yeah, I really need that surgery

Like I said, not impossible to be slim. Also genetics much more complicated, you may have inherited favourable recessive genes that wouldn’t be apparent in overweight relatives

10000 steps is not much exercise

It's 2 hours walking ! And for people who work and have children and busy lives it's pretty hard to fit in.

There's not many in our capitalist society who have 2 hours spare a day for walking.

*It's actually laughable that some people think it's as simple as 'eat less, move more'"......

I find it laughable that people are willing to ignore scientific fact.

The first law of thermodynamics

It is not about feelings, or emotions, it is about a calorific scientific equation. Proven to be fact since 1850.

Totally my fault in my case. I ate more and didn't move more as I got older.

That didn't mean it was easy to lose the weight or to maintain my current weight but it was all on me and my choices.

I understand there are people who have weight changes due to medication/illnesses but do I think there are the same rates of overweight people in places of the world where food is scarce? Or course not.

I am 5ft 9" and have always been over the recommended weight for my height by 14-21lbs. As I am tall enough, I carry my now 13 stone bulk well and don't look 'fat' (unless I stand next to my sister who weighs about 6 stones and most of that make up!). I have 'tried' to lost weight many times but had to finally be honest with myself that it would take many weeks and months of consistently eating only 1500 cals a day. I decided that I wasn't THAT bothered! So focused on exercise instead to maintain my weight and allow me to eat pretty much what I want - in moderation.

So for me, yes being fatter than I want to be is a choice. For some people it isn't but I think that for many people, it is and because losing weight and maintaining that loss is HARD work, many of us choose not to do it.

@dontdisturbmenow Not to that extreme no, rather people will think they are choosing healthier food by making something like a bolognese. Dolmio sauce isn’t high in calories, low fat mince and some pasta sounds like a healthy meal but actually they are eating a load of unnecessary sugar leading to a sugar crash later on so the tired and hungry cycle beginning again. I’ve just seen an advert for fruit juice- loads of positive things like vitamins etc, without knowing better I would think it was healthy but it’s not, fruit is. Cereal bars are advertised as healthier than chocolate bars but then often contain just as much sugar and rubbish than chocolate bars, just without the fat, meaning they don’t actually fill you up at all. The advertising is misleading and people don’t always know this.

But that’s overly simplistic. The human body isn’t a closed system and is much more complex than that. If energy in decreases, the body will downregulate other processes to maintain its body weight set point.

I don't think so. I'm currently morbidly obese and have had problems with eating since I was 5. I was anorexic for many years and then bulimic. I never made the choice, I got into an unhealthy cycle and it changes your mindset. Your thinking and reasoning around food isn't the same. And it's the same now.
Difference is that people take anorexia and bulimia seriously and treat them as the illnesses they are, but they don't when you're fat.
When I first began treatment for anorexia, the doctors were very helpful. When I went to get help for my current situation, I get a lecture on eating less and moving more and advice on what foods to eat. Sometimes I get prescribed appetite suppressants. I know this already but it really isn't that simple. A toxic 30 year long relationship with food isn't about to go away just like that.

Well, what you put in your mouth IS a choice, but few people would choose to be fat!!! Obesity is much more complicated than “calories in, calories out”. There are huge financial, cultural, emotional and psychological factors that high all contribute.

If it was easy to be thin everyone would be thin! I am a naturally thin person (BMI 18) and although I find it difficult to imagine ever letting myself get “obese”, I would not judge someone for being overweight. I don’t struggle with food but I do with other substances, and so I know the reality is much more complicated than “just don’t eat/drink/smoke” whatever. Being fat must be quite hard, and I don’t think judging people for it helps.

"Your body weight is 80% down to genetics"

Then please explain why countries with lots of cheap high calorie food have many more overweight people than countries with healthier foods. Are you saying that Americans, whose origins are very mixed, have fat genes while people in countries where most people are thin, don't.

I don't dispute that genes can have an effect and can help explain why some people in some countries are fat and others aren't, but it can't be the whole story.

@LaurieFairyCake

10000 steps is not much exercise

It's 2 hours walking ! And for people who work and have children and busy lives it's pretty hard to fit in.

There's not many in our capitalist society who have 2 hours spare a day for walking.

This is something I do take issue with.

Very few people don’t have time to exercise, they just choose to do other things. If someone has time to watch TV, read, play games, go on MN/social media/surfing the web etc. Those people do have time, they’re just choosing not to use that time for exercise.

You can also exercise while you do certain things such as watching TV, listening to the radio/audiobooks.

My boyfriend has a physical disability so some forms of exercise are either not possible or he would need expensive kit. So he focuses on what he can do, he cycles (static bike), walks, yoga, body weight exercise, hiit.

Do you not think I’m doing exactly what the physio has told me to do? Honestly. I’m not stupid. But the bottom line is I can’t exercise. I have been specifically told i must not do too much

" rather people will think they are choosing healthier food by making something like a bolognese. Dolmio sauce isn’t high in calories, low fat mince and some pasta sounds like a healthy meal but actually they are eating a load of unnecessary sugar"

Surely people don't think that bolognese with Dolmio is a healthy meal?

@Gwenhwyfar

" rather people will think they are choosing healthier food by making something like a bolognese. Dolmio sauce isn’t high in calories, low fat mince and some pasta sounds like a healthy meal but actually they are eating a load of unnecessary sugar"

Surely people don't think that bolognese with Dolmio is a healthy meal?

You would be amazed. I have diet reviews as part of my type one diabetes management, despite it being managed well and having a low (but healthy) body fat percentage I am virtually always encouraged to increase carbs in my diet. So that will bugger my sugars, but it will also increase my weight.