Is being fat a choice?

[notevenamum1]

This has all been triggered from a post I read on here the other day that was based around how short men must feel how fat women do when it comes to dating. There was a comment made about how it was worse for the men because they had not chosen to be short. Now this blaze comment about how being fat is a choice really sent me down a rabbit hole.

I think this is probably easy to say if you are someone who has never struggled with weight before but if you are someone like me who has struggled and yo-yo’d with their weight their whole life then they would beg to differ. I am both tall and fat, I have in the past been slim(mer) but it was a hell of a battle to get there and was unsustainable to stay there. Even now I am 5ft8, 14stone and convince myself that I am a size 14...I have to be mindful of what I eat every day, and exercise regularly or I would be even larger than I am now.

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Is being “fat” a choice?

@SerenDippitty

I never put dressing on my salads. Don’t touch fruit juice or fizzy drinks. Don’t snack. No cakes, biscuits or crisps. Still overweight. Still I guess it’s my choice.

It is entirely possible to be overweight on ‘healthy food’...

I think it is a choice for some, for others it's an eating disorder.
Even for those who don't have a medical reason so therefore technically have a choice the difficulty is identifying what's causing it and changing it long term. It's not always that easy as the habits that have got you there are so deeply ingrained some people can't see them let alone find the resolve to change them.

You just have to wTch secret eaters to see how brutal you have to be to face up to why you're gaib9the weight. Many of them are genuinely puzzled at their size but seeing the footage and listening to a nutritionist can they then start to see where they've being going wrong.
It can take more than a diet, it does sometimes need someone else to show you, like what that show does to make the penny drop. How many 'fat' people can be that honest with themselves or allow someone else to be? Not many, you would need to be really wanting to chose to change to go through that.
So yes it can be a choice but a very hard one if it's to be successful.

I don't think many people actually choose to be fat. Most people can choose to stay/get slim though.

It is entirely possible to be overweight on ‘healthy food’...

Just like it’s possible to be a “healthy weight” while living on crap...

@SerenDippitty I yet have to meet somebody who is inexplicably overweight. So far there were always calories that the person hadn’t into account - juicec crisps, cakes are the obvious ones. Gigantic portion sizes, alcohol, no exercise and healthy but nutrient dense foods are the usual culprits (nuts and raisins for example), but there are many many mire

Yes
However I don’t think it is at all important or my business unless someone else makes it that way
There are lots of happy fat women and less judgement of them would do us and them good

So to sum up, the overweight people say "It's my hormones, childhood, menopause, medication. And I only eat healthy food."

Everyone else says "Eat less, move more. Change your habits. Count all your calories." (Disability permitting on the moving, of course.)

There’s less money made in unprocessed foods, fruit, vegetables and whole cuts of meat so they don’t want us eating it
But no one is forcing you to listen. You know what's good for you, so why go with what isn't just because it's being more advertised?

It saddens me to see that fat (which is often a consequence Of both) is still judged greedy, lazy etc and doesn’t have that understanding applied to it
Where has greed and laziness been mentioned? Although to be fair, who can deny that as a nation, we have become lazier and greedier. Of course MH and certainly disability makes it all the harder to deal with it but considering obesity is a main contributor to my problems and disability it is a vicious cycle.

@LaurieFairyCake, totally understand your limitation in terms of exercises. Well done on you to have reduced your intake to account for a reduction in exercise and maintaining your weight that way. Let's hope your gym opens up soon again.

I’d say a big issue is offering sweet treats as a reward. Be good and you can have an ice cream, do this and we’ll have a takeaway/sweets/chocolate.

Eat your veg (implies yuck) and you can have dessert! (Implied yum) As a child you’re conditioned to see veg and fruit as something you have to eat in order to get the good stuff.

The answer is not to blame, berate and discriminate against people but to be kind and encouraging when people try to lose weight
Totally agree. At the same time, it would help for people not to automatically go on the defensive justifying how nothing at all works for them despite eating only 1200 calories and exercising 7 days a week.

Apart from a small percentage of medical conditions, people put on weight due to calorie surplus.

Be those calories from lettuce or chips. If you do not move past you BMR then you will put on weight.

If you consume less calories than you burn, you lose weight. There are factors around water retention etc which may cause some erroneous readings.

However, to argue the contrary is literally arguing the first law of thermodynamics.

It is far easier to blame everything else.

People would be surprised at how many calories they consume without realising. Try for one day inputting everything that passes your lips into a calorie counter. I am not saying we should be calorie counters per se, but we should be aware.

Also, as a nation, we do no where near enough exercise on average.

You’re right dontdisturbmenow we have become lazier and greedier. It’s now a massive part of our culture to sit and binge on box sets whilst eating snacks and takeaways.

I love a box set, but I limit myself to one episode in the evening of something I really want to watch. I also try and limit my internet time using the screen-time app. Not only does it give me far more time to get other things done, like cook properly, exercise and do my other hobbies, it’s far better for my mental health. And I’m most likely to snack when I watch tv or browse the internet.

Our current way of life is causing mental health issues and obesity and I believe the two are quite well intertwined.

On the matter of exercising, I think it would help to define what we mean by exercise.

I see people at my gym, mainly in January and February, overweight and clearly on a positive mission to lose weight. However, what they do is so limited. 10 minutes slow walk on the treadmill, 10mns on the bike at a very low level and speed etc...who are then surprise they don't lose any weight. I was speaking with one such person who concluded that it was her constitution etc... I suggested she join a HiiT class and she looked at me as if I was mad, saying it would kill her. Yet there are overweight people,some very overweight people doing it. Its very hard (for everyone according to how hard they push themselves),but that's where the work really pays. Its the pushing yourself to the level that you think you are going to pass out (feeling like rather than actually getting to that point!) that will make you lose weight. You need to push your heart rate to a the red zone. Then you'll start losing weight.

Also it is mainly diet rather than exercise. I had a severe back injury a few years back. I lost a stone through calorie counting and I couldn’t exercise at all - I could barely walk.

Can someone please. Tell me how I am supposed to exercise more.

Thanks.

*So to sum up, the overweight people say "It's my hormones, childhood, menopause, medication. And I only eat healthy food."

Everyone else says "Eat less, move more. Change your habits. Count all your calories." (Disability permitting on the moving, of course.)*
Sums it up very well!

*It’s now a massive part of our culture to sit and binge on box sets whilst eating snacks and takeaways"
My worse culprit....Mumsnet . I somehow unconsciously started to eat whilst coming on this forum and developed an automatic association. I log on and my brain is telling me that I need food. So my goal.is to desassociate that link! Anyone else?

Do people look at me and think I am fat because I have no self control? Do they think this is my “fault”?

Yes and yes. I would think you have no control and can’t say no to treats. You eat to much so have no control and it’s your fault as you decide what you put in your mouth.

@Mydogisthebestest

Can someone please. Tell me how I am supposed to exercise more.

Thanks.

Well, we don’t know the extent of your disabilities or injuries, so cannot possibly tell you what you are able, or not able to do.

A gp or physiotherapist may be able to advise you on what you can to do though.

I have a friend who is wheelchair bound and has had exceptionally poor mobility and shortened limbs from birth. She has a fitness regime tailored to her range of movement that she follows.

I think yapping on about exercise is part of the problem

Eating fewer calories is the answer or the number, in your circumstances, to create a deficit

For me I eat basically Small portions of meat and large portions of veg/salad. I do this purely for vanity. Really.

It's absolutely not a choice. No one would ever choose it.

Mydogisthebestest

95% of weight loss comes from eating less, rather than exercise. Only you and your doctor know how much you can exercise. What all of us can take control of it how much we eat, and what it consists of.

Its the pushing yourself to the level that you think you are going to pass out (feeling like rather than actually getting to that point!) that will make you lose weight. You need to push your heart rate to a the red zone. Then you'll start losing weight.

I agree, I used to be the person who faffed about at the gym and floundered in the back of an exercise class and claimed to be working out regularly.

It’s only in the last two years that I have learned how to stress my system with exercise. The more you push yourself, the more you want to push yourself and the more enjoyment you get out of it.

I used to think runners were lucky because they obviously just enjoyed running and I was unlucky because I hated it so much. 😂

I think yapping on about exercise is part of the problem. Eating fewer calories is the answer or the number, in your circumstances, to create a deficit.

Exercise is important. It burns calories, it changes your body shape and it encourages you to fuel your body better. Intense cardio has been reported to surpress food cravings too. It also improves your mental health and therefore makes you less likely to emotionally eat.

And when you’re exercising, you’re not eating...

It's absolutely not a choice. No one would ever choose it

But if you choose to eat big portions, treats and not exercise you are choosing to be fat? I choose to be slim so I limit treats and eat healthy balanced meals (the majority of the time). When you step on the scales and see you’re overweight but continue your current lifestyle, again that is a choice you are making.

Medications aside, I guess it's a choice of sorts. But what gets me is the assumption by certain slim people that we all start at roughly the same point and stay slim or get fat depending on how strict we are. Yes there'll often be an acknowledgement that some people will find it harder than others but if so then tough luck... if you wanted it enough you'd simply find a way.

Now imagine we applied that logic to wealth/poverty?!