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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask whether you’ve ever done this during sex...

130 replies

Pollstrox · 13/07/2020 18:19

Recently started online dating after being divorced for many years. I fall in to the “old” category and during my marriage my sex life with exDH was nonexistent, so I’m fairly out of touch. I’ve recently met a new man who is a fair bit younger than me and sexually we are having a wonderful time. Recently he’s suggested I could ‘pleasure’ him anally by inserting a finger or even using some sort of toy to stimulate his prostrate.

According to him, this is very common nowadays and very popular with men. I’m wondering if this is true?!

My exDH would have been horrified if I’d have done such a thing and to be honest I had no idea that men even had a g spot! AIBU to ask how many of you have tried this and/or do this regularly with your OH?

OP posts:
WildOrchids67 · 13/07/2020 19:14

My FWB told me he likes it. I haven't done it for him (nor has he asked me to) but I haven't ruled out trying it in the future. Agree with PP it would have to be clean though!

HatRack · 13/07/2020 19:17

Does that mean men cum during a prostrate exam?

heartsonacake · 13/07/2020 19:20

@HatRack

Does that mean men cum during a prostrate exam?
No. Why would they? Do you cum during your smear?
Quarantimespringclean · 13/07/2020 19:22

I’m old too and my sex life is pretty much non existent but that is certainly something I enjoyed.

jessstan2 · 13/07/2020 19:22

It's not a 'nowadays' thing, it has always been popular amongst people who know about it. Men like having their prostate tickled, it enhances their pleasure. Only do it if you want to, it's not obligatory.

augustusglupe · 13/07/2020 19:23

Oh god no, I’ve known DH for 35 years and I’ve never been near his anus!!

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 13/07/2020 19:25

Sex???? Remind me again ....... Blush

PumpkinP · 13/07/2020 19:25

I’m early 30s and I’ve never been asked this by any man, very strange.

Scoobyscoobedydoo · 13/07/2020 19:27

Yes, regular here. Was with my previous partner too, he liked a lot of anal penetration actually. ExH wouldn't hear a word of it potentially being enjoyable though.

Arnoldthecat · 13/07/2020 19:28

There are plenty of women on here who have stated that they enjoy anal penetration or play so im not sure what the difference is? As usual good hygiene is the key. I'd suggest the OP googles prostate massage or prostate milking. This can actually be done for medical reasons also !

Of course there is a difference between running a finger around his hole and teasing whilst he is making love to you and slipping a finger inside and fishing around for his prostate !

I wonder suggest that most men would find the former highly pleasurable and it would bring them to orgasm fairly quickly if having penetrative sex.

Fishing around for his prostate is another matter. You have to know what your looking for and further once found,you have to know what to do with it. If it concerns you,you could wear a latex glove and some lube.

You can actually make a man ejaculate just by prostate massage alone and it tends to be very intense and more productive than penetrative orgasm. Its a definite skill on the part of the practitioner.

Micah · 13/07/2020 19:29

I find it slightly odd that for many anal sex is now mainstream, but sticking a finger up a bloke’s bum isn’t?

Hormonecrazyhell · 13/07/2020 19:30

God no! Amount I pay for these nails, I don’t want them full of shit

Runmybathforme · 13/07/2020 19:32

My DH isn’t interested in any bum action, I’m very glad about that.

Leaspr · 13/07/2020 19:33

I’ve never personally met a man who didn’t like it when I’ve done it to them!
I wouldn’t say it puts you in the ‘old’ category for not having done it though.
Maybe it’s a good opportunity to experiment? But only if it’s something you’re comfortable doing...

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 13/07/2020 19:34

@CaptainCorellisPangolin - I do hope you are not a new doctor...

@TomPinch - I'm developing this in my head right now!

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 13/07/2020 19:38

@Hormonecrazyhell

God no! Amount I pay for these nails, I don’t want them full of shit

ShockGrin

Popsie17 · 13/07/2020 19:39

If yo aren’t comfortable doing it then don’t. It’s nothing something my fairly young partner is into - luckily. Don’t fancy trying it 🤣

But if you are comfortable to try, go for it!

StuffThem · 13/07/2020 19:43

Stiffler got his prostrate milked in American Pie Road trip. 2000

(Envy not envy)

mimbleandlittlemy · 13/07/2020 19:45

Men have a prostate, not a prostrate.

Prostrate means you are lying down.

Sorry - pet peeve.

heynori · 13/07/2020 19:50

Totally normal and common!

I do this to DH every time we have sex.

RealityBased · 13/07/2020 19:57

Yes, I've done it ... but I've never been asked for it. It's just that I know how men's anatomy functions and that it's something that works for them.

I don't mind it (see above, it's always been something I have initiated). But I don't do stuff I don't feel okay with.

Same with anal, by the way. Used to be considered "kinky", seems to be pretty vanilla these days. I used to date a bloke who did it well and I didn't mind a bit / actually found it enjoyable. Never agreed to it with other bloke who really hurt me the first time he tried and was kind of an arse (no pun intended) about it.

I really don't think "normal" matters that much in sex. Mutual pleasure and enthusiastic consent matter, though!

AfterSchoolWorry · 13/07/2020 20:20

🤮🤮🤮

Shit under your nails, sexy 🤮🤮🤮

fucknuckle · 13/07/2020 20:20

i hear some men positively love a bit of action with the old tea towel holder.

each to their own, and all that.

JamieFrasersSassenach · 13/07/2020 20:21

@Hormonecrazyhell

God no! Amount I pay for these nails, I don’t want them full of shit
@Hormonecrazyhell that made me chuckle! Grin
gingganggooleywotsit · 13/07/2020 20:23

Not telling you anything op Hmm do what you like