To ask whether you’ve ever done this during sex...

[Pollstrox]

Recently started online dating after being divorced for many years. I fall in to the “old” category and during my marriage my sex life with exDH was nonexistent, so I’m fairly out of touch. I’ve recently met a new man who is a fair bit younger than me and sexually we are having a wonderful time. Recently he’s suggested I could ‘pleasure’ him anally by inserting a finger or even using some sort of toy to stimulate his prostrate.

According to him, this is very common nowadays and very popular with men. I’m wondering if this is true?!

My exDH would have been horrified if I’d have done such a thing and to be honest I had no idea that men even had a g spot! AIBU to ask how many of you have tried this and/or do this regularly with your OH?

Yep it’s common. But don’t do it if you don’t want to!

Yeah it's where the Male g spot is so is very pleasurable for a lot of men. If you dont want to then dont but theres nothing wrong with him asking

I think the fact that in Gavin and Stacey, Smithy made such a big deal out of Nessa doing this to him, indicates that it wasn't universal practice. Not "abnormal" but not 100% standard practice as it were.

Callipygion

Well I was just watching an episode of The Yorkshire Vet and he was sticking some sort of probe up a ram’s bottom to stimulate the prostrate to collect a semen sample! (Probe looked sort of like a hair curling wand - if you want a visual prompt 😊) I was amazed but it worked, the ram seemed to enjoy it! The size of their testicles though ....! Just .. wow! 😳

That's a very vivid mental picture...

Most men love a bit of finger bum tig.

My ex appeared to enjoy it, and from things said by friends, etc, it seems to be common enough.

My ex wanted this... I never had this request from any other partner and although it didn’t bother me that he liked it, and I was fine with doing it, it was the fact he didn’t initially tell me he liked it and only told me towards the end of our relationship By which time he saw me as some kind of vanilla prude and I apparently should have known he liked it so things were already screwed up in that dept and no amount of prostrate play could help our relationship.

I think it’s good that he is telling you What he likes, if you don’t feel comfortable doing it then don’t as you do need to be careful.. especially if you have long nails

There's a Four Yorkshirewomen's sketch, involving animal husbandry. just waiting to be written..

Whenever my other half suggests going anywhere near my bum I remind him that I work on a "you go first basis". Needless to say, my bum is safe

It's fairly common but not something I have any interest in giving or receiving (I'm mid 30s). If you don't want to do it, don't do it.

I for one am not going near any man's bottom, scary places...

It's up to you what you do in bed, not what a bunch of us here tell you.

I think it must be a relatively new ‘common’ thing. I’ve been with my husband 25 years, and dated lots of men before, and no ones ever asked. Its a one way system as far as i’m concerned!
I worked as a nurse for years and we talked about everything. I remember us all being agog when one of us let her boyfriend have anal sex. She said ‘never again’
Like a pp said, in Gavin and Stacey, Smithy was in shock afterwards, and also in No Angels, Lia had been out of the dating game for a long time, and the others told her things had changed, and now involved bum sex(something like that anyway)

I don’t think its as common as people make out, to be honest

@GertiMJN

I think the fact that in Gavin and Stacey, Smithy made such a big deal out of Nessa doing this to him, indicates that it wasn't universal practice. Not "abnormal" but not 100% standard practice as it were.

But didn’t she use the toilet brush?? 😂😂

If it's not for your it's not for you. Don't do anything you don't feel happy or comfortable with

It's a thing though fo sho

It's not uncommon but it's also not like every other bloke likes it.
Is he super clean? Do you want to try it?
Dont do it if it's not for you!

@MissConductUS

This has always been pleasurable for men if done gently and correctly. The men who are horrified by the idea have the silly notion that it somehow indicates that they're gay.

I certainly would not be thinking that I must be gay. But I wouldn't want anybody touch my prostate for non-medical reasons. Because I have a chronic prostate condition I've had number of rectal examinations and can state clearly that not of them were in any way pleasant or sexually stimulating..

After all the threads on here about skidders on pants and toilet seats...I am not going anywhere near a man's bum

FabulouslyFab

If I remember correctly that was in addition (or next time) but yes, the bog brush featured, which brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it 🤣🤣🤣

Fair play to you for finding a partner and enjoying time together ;)
It’s normal ie fairly common , but as others have said that’s not the issue, it’s that you both consent, are comfortable with and enjoy whatever you want to do. It’s good your partner opens up (pardon the pun) about his likes - sex should be like this, we aren’t mind readers

It’s pretty enjoyable for men and women! You can put a condom over your finger if that might make you more confident. Obviously don’t do anything you won’t enjoy, but it can be fun to step outside your comfort zone in the bedroom

Where's OP?

It's common, but then so are threadworms. There may even be a connection.

Not for me it isn’t, I’ve never met a man that asked for that, it would be a no from me, I don’t want to go near that area!