AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

Some people have kids that are allowed to eat just 'fast food' for all of their meals. It's what they are used to and once established it is difficult to get the children to eat other options that are less processed or salty.

The mash and chicken sounds ok - I do understand that children struggle with spicy options but that is pretty easy to eat.

Stick with YOUR choice for your birthday and suggest they attempt mash potatoes which is pretty bland

It's a much better kids' menu than 99% of the ones in France.
For some reason they always have
steak haiche and fries
or
burger and fries
or
egg and fries

SIL is not only be in unreasonable but ignorant to the fact that its your birthday not her DC's. God forbid they might not enjoy one single meal in their life because the food was someone else's choice. Perhaps she should teach her children about being kind when it's someone's birthday and remembering it's their special day.

All kids should be able to experience different foods

It's also a useful life skill to be able to go into any restaurant and find something you can eat and hopefully enjoy without making a fuss even if it's not necessarily your first choice of food.

Because the alternative is people like the OPs SIL/DC who moan and complain about what they 'can't eat' which inevitably causes stress and guilt for others and often leads to the fussy and inflexible dictating the dining choice in group situations, leaving others to never get to choose where to eat because it always goes to the lowest common denominator of predictable, pedestrian food choices.

I have fussy git kids.
I'd never dream of getting you to change restaurants, it's YOUR birthday, she's being a cheeky cow!
Surely there must be something they can eat, even if it's the plain chicken and a plate of chips?

I would say no to changing restaurants but I might ask what her children will eat. You might be surprised how accommodating some restaurants can be if you just ask politely ahead of time.

Sorry, I just saw that they do have plain chicken. She's definitely being unreasonable.

Honestly, the kids have got to learn to eat. I wouldn't move it. If she's so fussed, she can bring her own food for the children and should deal with the awkwardness of doing so.

Your birthday so totally your choice and your SIL is being ridiculous anyway , it won’t kill her kids to sit through a meal that they may or may not enjoy and I’m sure there would be something they could try .

Grim.

My kids stopped eating off of kids' menus at about 7, the portions were abysmally small and they were utterly devoid of seasonings even in places that tried to serve smaller adult dishes. Wagamama, for itself, proper lets itself down by basically serving up plain noodles. It's inedible. Mowgli as well, basically served plain potato and rice.

Very rude!

My opinion from having two kids that will eat anything and my youngest who has allergies and is extremely fussy to boot. I was always really wound up when the kids menu was sausage/nuggets chips and beans. Why should my kids get lazy cheap junk options when eating out? That's the kind of food I want to reserve for when I can't be bothered to cook, not when I'm paying a lot of money for a special occasion. So I hate the term 'child friendly' there shouldn't be an assumption that all kids are fussy. Along came my fussy eater and he actually won't even eat jacket potato/mash/beans/peas. I still wouldn't choose a restaurant based on his fussiness. What I tend to do is find a side dish or starter he might eat, like houmous and bread or a side of chips/garlic bread/corn on the cob. If I was sure there was nothing my son would eat I'd probably feed him beforehand and just bring entertainment for him. It's not about his needs on someone else's birthday.

Having said all that, I have turned down offers of meal out invitations when mine were younger and restaurants are not obviously family friendly places and no other attendees would have children just because of the high stress of keeping young children under control in somewhere more formal. I would never ask someone to change venue, I'd have just said we couldn't make it. She might be using the food as an excuse.

I have one dc who eats anything and one dc who only likes plain food (she will eat all meats, all carbs, all veggies but no added spices/sauces etc).

If we got this invite I'd politely tell dc2 to get over themselves, eat a plain chicken breast, and put a smile on their face for their aunts birthday.

Even with the fussiest kids, you can find something to feed them in a restaurant, even if it's just chips.

Nope. None of my kids eat chips. We struggle with kids menus as we’ve never found one which all of them will eat something. If there’s pasta or rice then only one of them is happy, but the boys don’t eat pasta, rice or potatoes, fish, chicken or sausages. One would eat pizza but they are rarely on kids menus. However, I wouldn’t want anyone to change their plans for us fussy bastards and would either not go, or feed the kids before and take a couple of bits in my bag for a snacks.

My son has an eating disorder (arfid) so to eat out can be tough, thankfully garlic bread is a safe food for him and if push comes to shove he can have crisps as he is tube fed for the calories anyway.

He would struggle going to a Mexican place because of the smells but even then I wouldn’t ask for it to be changed. I would simply apologise and say we couldn’t go unfortunately

one would eat pizza but they are rarely on kids menus

You could just order a full sized pizza from the adult menu and either share it with the table or bring the leftovers home.

Wagamama, for itself, proper lets itself down by basically serving up plain noodles.

You're choosing the wrong things from the kids' menu! Most of the options are just smaller versions of the adults' with a few variations: eg the mini chicken katsu curry has the option for grilled chicken instead of katsu, sauce on the side, and carrot, sweetcorn and cucumber instead of pickles.

My kids are not great eaters but they could certainly eat chicken and mash.
If not I would feed them a big lunch and give them a sandwich in car on way home as back up plan.

Yes we do Bernadette, if we go to an Italian place but most restaurants don’t do adult pizzas either. And we don’t want pizza and pasta when out for a meal.

I love restaurants who do a real kids menu, ie smaller portions of their dishes, possibly milder.

Genuine Q to parents of fussy eaters: how did they know chips/nuggets/etc were on the menu and they could request it if they were used to eating «adult» food until then?
I might have been lucky with my two as even though they have dislikes they definitely don’t know there is kids food vs adult food. But I also never fed them typical kids food, even in restaurants I would order an adult main to share when the kids menu was the typical beige items. Again, maybe luck.

SIL is BU to ask you to change when it’s your birthday.

But I would have to decline. My DS wouldn’t eat anything off that menu. He is incredibly fussy despite my best efforts. I have him a massive range of foods when weaning, but as he got older he reduced the different a food he’d be willing to eat. He (Age 5) will now eat about 4 or 5 meals but nothing else other than snack-type food. We aren’t making a big deal of it and always encourage at least trying something new, I figure forcing the issue won’t help. I’m fairly certain it’s due to sensory issues.

Most of the time we can find something he will eat on a kids menu. But if there was nothing I’d just decline to take him rather than insist the host changes venue.

@SimonJT

In my view a child friendly menu should offer smaller versions of the adult meals.

Not shite consisting of chips, beans, nuggets and sausages. Why should children be offered the same five crap meals when eating out?

She doesn’t get to decide the venue, the Birthday girl does 🎉

Hear, hear

Ds1 always had a starter of soup and a roll or half of my dinner and I’d order (something softer like fish pie, casserole type things) extra till he was 2 then he became fussy. Same as ds2 and dd. We found kids menu stuff was too dry and hard to chew when they were little.

I have just started to appreciate children's menus more as they are easier to read and DS can work out what he wants (and how much it is!) but we will often order an adult meal if he'd prefer that and share between adults and children etc.

I'd be delighted to see a kids menu like this.

You have not had the option to eat out for months, it's your birthday go where you would like!

It drives me mad when we go to restaurants and they have a lovely menu for adults and then kids menus comprise: sausage and chips (no veg) , pasta and tomato sauce or a burger as the 'options'. In fact even if there are more interesting options available if my kids see pasta and tomato sauce they invariably plump for that despite it costing about 10p to make and selling for £7 and the fact they have it at home countless times!

You are unreasonable for making me want Mexican food at 10.45 on a Monday morning though

My son wouldn't eat anything there (he is autistic but still eats more than some NT kids I know lol) but I would still never ask to change restaurant! I would just say we could do something else the next day!