Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

488 replies

Blearymorningeyes · 13/07/2020 09:19

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

OP posts:
pinkcattydude · 13/07/2020 10:07

Never would I change the venue in this situation. I have a child that won’t eat chips (he’d live your choice of restaurant). But he is aware we’ll try in every restaurant to get something he will eat, but he has ended up having chicken and veg at restaurants when out with friends. He understand that being involved in the event is more important than the food. Usually pudding makes up for it.

Sparticle · 13/07/2020 10:08

I'm with you @SimonJT - I'd prefer my DC eat half portions of the adult dishes, but if we go somewhere with a children's menu I'd never choose the rubbish sausage or nuggets options and they wouldn't expect it either.

Hope you get it sorted OP.

LagunaBubbles · 13/07/2020 10:09

Please don't change the restaurant. Its your birthday so your choice.

Not shite consisting of chips, beans, nuggets and sausages

My youngest would eat the fajitas but lots of children wouldn't, I don't see anything wrong with places serving sausage, beans and chips etc as most children would at least that!

okiedokieme · 13/07/2020 10:09

Ps if it's independent, it's worth contacting them to see if they can do chicken strips and chips, or similar. By 7 my DD's were eating adult food in restaurants, I used to order one portion between the 2 of them because they whinged big time if they were made to have "kids food" both hated beans (as do I)

formerbabe · 13/07/2020 10:10

Even if I thought my dc wouldn't eat anything, it wouldn't occur to me to ask to change restaurants. I'd feed them at home and get them an ice cream or dessert there.

Fluffycloudland77 · 13/07/2020 10:12

Remind me whose birthday this is? 🤨

It’s very rude to control others like that.

Penguinandduck · 13/07/2020 10:13

One of my kids wouldn’t eat anything on there due to extreme fussiness plus allergies, but I would bring something from home for him, rather than expect you to change the restaurant. It sounds like there’s a reasonable enough choice for most kids. It does depend how you said it though, and whether it was clear that the restaurant was a definite, or whether it seemed like you were inviting opinion.

diddl · 13/07/2020 10:13

I don't think that you should change the restaurant either.

Do you especially want the kids there?

I think that by sending the menu she thinks that you are asking her opinion of the menu for her kids & that she therefore has the right of veto!

RicStar · 13/07/2020 10:14

I don't understand why you sent sil the childrens menu - that would seem like you were asking for her opinion to me. I would have just said - we are going to x restaurant for my birthday on x etc. One of my kids is very fussy, one a bit fussy (doesnt like chips(!), and one eats anything- we would just choose the most appropriate things for them off any menu.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 13/07/2020 10:16

YANBU. At all. I say this as the parent of a child whose diet at one stage was so limited that we were working with a psychologist. Those days if we ever ate out it pretty much had to be Harvester because he could at least then eat bread, raisins and cucumber from the salad bar whilst the rest of us ate actual meals. But we would never have dreamed of asking someone to change their chosen restaurant to accommodate the fact that our middle child wouldn't eat most things. That would have been bonkers.

ginsparkles · 13/07/2020 10:19

@BobFleming it's a little harsh to say she's made her children fussy. Mine is fussy. She wasn't during weaning, she ate all sorts and then she got more and more restrictive in what she would eat. I work hard to improve the situation with her. So it's not always the case that the parent has caused the problem.

ItsSpittingEverybodyIn · 13/07/2020 10:20

I definitely wouldn't change your plans as its YOUR birthday!
But I have a ds with asd and he would struggle with that menu. He might possibly eat dry nachos but that's it. However I've found most restaurants are quite accommodating and will try to help.

TokyoSushi · 13/07/2020 10:20

Do not change the restaurant, it sounds lovely!

Bright and breezy 'I'm sorry but we cant change the restaurant, it's my favourite for my birthday! I hope that there's something on the menu that Thomas and Tarquin can eat, but if you'd prefer to meet elsewhere on another day then that would be great too!'

LondonJax · 13/07/2020 10:21

DS doesn't eat certain foods so birthday parties (particularly kids ones) were a nightmare when he was little. But I've never asked for a change of anything for him. It's his decision that he doesn't like certain foods. It's not an allergy, just a dislike of the taste and texture. So if there was, for example, ice cream or jelly on offer he just said no thank you. It's the birthday person's choice of what's on offer. If he was hungry, tough - he can survive for an hour or two without food! On his birthday no-one got jelly or ice cream - his party, his choice of food.

When he was younger he wasn't keen on curry. My sister and her husband are big curry fans so we were always invited out for a curry on their family birthdays. So we'd feed DS before we went out, we'd get him some naan bread and poppadum so he could join in with the meal and he'd get on with it.

Because of that DH and I were gradually able to pop a bit of korma sauce on his side plate from my plate (I don't like over spicy food whereas DH is madras plus) and then introduce some mango chutney to go with the poppadom, then added a bit of side dishes like bombay potato. Now he'll happily go straight for a full korma with samosa and loves onion bargees.

But that's all come from the 'try a bit of this if you want to - I'll leave it on your plate' attitude and popping something on the side plate. We'd never force him to eat it and we never put it on his main plate otherwise he'd refuse the lot. But we wouldn't ask him if he wanted to try something. Kids default to 'no, I don't like it' without even trying a mouthful, so we never asked the question - he'd just have a small spoonful of a couple of things on the side plate. Even though he turned his nose up at whatever it was, somehow it would often disappear over the course of the evening. And if it didn't, that was fine.

But never taking a fussy eater to a place that challenges their tastes is a mistake as far as I'm concerned. DS still doesn't like jelly or ice cream. That's fine - I don't like certain foods. But outside those preferences he'll happily try anything. On holiday abroad he'll give unfamiliar dishes a go, even if it's just a little bit on the side plate so by the end of the holiday he may ask for a small portion of something he's not tried up until then. I don't want him to become a teenager that will only eat 'x and chips', that's not only unhealthy but it makes life very hard if he decides to travel when he's older.

So don't change the booking. The kids come and get on with it or they don't come. It's that simple.

InescapableDeath · 13/07/2020 10:22

It's your birthday. DO NOT CHANGE IT.

Brendabigbaps · 13/07/2020 10:23

@formerbabe

Very unreasonable of her. Even with the fussiest kids, you can find something to feed them in a restaurant, even if it's just chips.
My child won’t eat chips, or chicken nuggets for that matter.
IamMaz · 13/07/2020 10:24

I wouldn't want to eat there tbh. I HATE anything spicy. Even the smell.....

EvilPea · 13/07/2020 10:26

It sounds a lovely menu, really child friendly. And now I wish I had fajitas for dinner.

Mine have fajita wraps for packed lunch at school

For the purposes of family relations I would maybe move it. But it depends how much I like her, how many others are going, if I can go to the Mexican another night.

LemonLapin · 13/07/2020 10:26

IamMaz

It's a good thing that you haven't been invited then.

Littlemissdaredevil · 13/07/2020 10:27

YANBU - it’s your birthday treat not her kids!

forrestgreen · 13/07/2020 10:29

No don't change, it's your birthday.
Is it a day meal or evening?
"Hi SIL, sorry I wasn't aware your children didn't like mash or fajitas, I'm sure you could ask for no spice like the ones you do. Or you could feed them before they come and they could just have pudding. If not, let me know if you'd prefer not to bring them and I'll alter the booking. Can't wait to celebrate my birthday with you all!"

CF!

Radioheadrestart · 13/07/2020 10:29

This is awkward - birthday or not, I'd hate to have people coming with me for meal when they didn't like the restaurant I'd chosen - it's a mood killer for me. I would go to my fav restaurant with people who wanted to eat there too and go to the local cafe with your sil.

NataliaOsipova · 13/07/2020 10:31

I have one very fussy child and one who’ll try anything. I always tell the fussy one that there’s a social element to food and if you want to go to someone else’s house or out to a restaurant for a birthday, then you need to fit in politely. So - you might not get your favourite, but you need to be able to eat a small/polite amount of whatever it is graciously. And I say this as a rather unadventurous eater myself. It’s a good life lesson, honestly.

I’d say to SIL - “Sorry, that restaurant is all booked and arrangements made. No offence if you’d prefer not to come, though- we can meet up another time somewhere else?”. She’s definitely off asking you to change.

Doveyouknow · 13/07/2020 10:33

One of mine would struggle with that menu, they have autism and are quite fussy. They have fajitas at home but no spice and only certain vegetables plus chicken. They are trying new foods at home but a restaurant is a stressful place for them so I don't push it there. I know people sneer a bit at typical kids menus but they are a godsend for us.

That being said I wouldn't for a minute suggest that someone change a venue because of my kids food preferences. They can fill up on bread if needs be.

20viona · 13/07/2020 10:34

I totally agree with you! All kids should be able to experience different foods.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread