AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

I was the parent of three fussy eaters, despite doing everything I could to prevent it (they are better now!).

At that age (especially the 4 year old), mine would not have eaten from that menu, unfortunately. I know it sounds completely ridiculous, but honestly, they just wouldn't have done. If your SIL's children are similar she is in a difficult position - she either accepts, knowing that is is going to be a stressful situation for her (because it is stressful eating out when your children are bloody awkward about food, and as it very clear from this post, people can be hugely judgemental about it) or she tries to suggest an alternative.

There is absolutely no reason why you should change your birthday plans to suit the whims of your nephews and nieces, but try and be sympathetic. She might like nothing better than the idea of a lovely Mexican meal with you and be bloody sick of dealing with fussy children and eating endless meals at the same restaurants. I know I was.

Wagamama, for itself, proper lets itself down by basically serving up plain noodles. It's inedible. Mowgli as well, basically served plain potato and rice

They probably do that to cater for the people who won't eat anything if it's not exactly as they expect it to be. There was a group of eating out and one of the party was fussy and was also a vegetarian who didn't eat most vegetables or food with any flavour spice in it, so turned her nose up at middle eastern and Indian restaurants, despite being great options for vegetarians.

We ended up in a restaurant of a type that I cannot remember but the only thing she would eat off the menu was chips and a side order of carrots. She sent the carrots back because they'd put butter and herbs on them .

The children don't even have to eat, feed them at home..take some colouring books or a tablet, ask the waiter for a scoop of ice cream...job done

My daughter is incredibly fussy and so would struggle to eat there, however it’s incredibly rude for your SIL to say what she did. I would just feed the kids before I went and then get a snack and/or a pudding for the kids while we were there. It’s your birthday so you get to choose where you go!

Totally agree OP, it's your birthday = your choice.

And this comes from a fairly picky adult eater!

Strangely wagamamas is the only restaurant my kids all enjoy. One base the plain noodles and grilled chicken, one has the Veggie cha han and one has 2 portions of steamed pork gyozas. It’s the only place we don’t find stressful to eat, and actually manage to enjoy ourselves.

Being Italian, this concept is foreign to me & cheeky to ask someone to change their birthday venue location! I would just send her a breezy text saying “oh it’s all booked & confirmed, let me know if you’re still keen & the kids can always enjoy desserts & pick at whatever they like as we’ll all be sharing etc

It’s Mexican. This is so kids friendly. If they will struggle with corn chips that is a behavioural issue to me. children shouldn’t dictate what everyone else has to eat - not everyone believes in “kids food” and “adults food” - arguably children of different cultures do not grow up with fish fingers & nuggets. How are kids meant to expand their palate if they keep being pandered to?

Growing up there was always copious amounts of food on the table for sharing - take what you like, or not at all - no stress or force feeding. But no pandering either.

I don’t have children so may be less inclined to understand the problems people face with children who will only eat chips & nuggets. I tend to think it’s largely a problem by design.

I have one child who will eat anything and one who has autism and just going to a new restuarant would render him unable to eat as he wouldnt relax. Then he is fussy about what he will eat once he is familiar with it (no spice) Being honest its hard ordering food and paying for it, knowing it wont get eaten. But i wouldnt say someone had to change their birthday plans anf would just work with it somehow.

“Oh dear, as it’s MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY I’d like to go here. Sorry your kids won’t be coming.” Cf.
I hate children’s menus. Years ago when dd was 9 we went to Warsaw. (Brilliant city btw) Out for a meal, asked for kids menus. Lovely waitress just laughed and said “we don’t do those. If you like you can just have a smaller portion of whatever is on the menu.” Dd ate like a Queen all week.

Also before I get flamed - if I did have kids & they did have a genuine food requirement issue or were known to be fussy eaters, I would cringe worthy embarrassment to think my kids’ food issues would affect a whole group’s dinner plans - especially a birthday dinner! So even if there is a genuine reason why the kids would need a different kids menu, I still would not ask to change the venue just to suit them & consider feeding them before or politely declining.

I would of also asked if we could change the restaurant when my kids were that age, (a mixture of allergies and fussiness) as they would not of eaten anything. If the answer was no then I wouldn't of brought them. (unless it was a very special event) I might of come on my own.

I started a thread years ago about kids menus here as I got bitched at by friends for ordering “adult food” for my child. I got absolutely torn apart and called a snob just because my child wanted to eat fish 🤦🏻‍♀️ Where I’m from, there are no kids menus. Food is food!

@PleasePassTheCoffeeThanks

I could have tried harder i can't remember the exact time I gave them something plain. They were both really good until over 4. Now they can eat various things but more hassle to eat healthily which we do in the house but at a restaurant with others I would rather they enjoyed the social aspect than a battle about food. (Chicken and mash would be fine would never ask birthday person to change)

Parties, play dates, nursery, grandparents, aunties. Lost of places they will get a chicken nugget apart from parents.

If her kids won't eat then either they book a sitter, feed the kids beforehand, or just don't come.

I grew up in a country where kids just eat a smaller portion of the adult’s food, so I never really got what a classic children’s menu is about (the fish finger and sausages type). Or cooking two different meals at home, for that matter.
I do think it creates more problems in the long run because obviously the children will always choose these foods in detriment of others, because it’s more of a treat. It then goes from being a treat to being the only thing they eat. It’s not something they grow out of either, we all know adults with terrible eating habits. You need to help them to develop their palates, make different things available to them, encourage them to choose something different etc. This all obviously needs to be adapted for children with SEN but there are so many children out there who are fussy because they are pandered to. Parents believe the children will grow out of it, but they don’t, not without proactive encouragement.

For those so quick to judge. When Ds was a baby he ate everything and anything, mousaka was a favourite of his when we went to Greece when he was about 8 months old.

Unfortunately for complex reasons as he got older he stopped eating. Literally would eat nothing. He is now tube fed for most of his nutrients but will eat the odd apple or egg or packet of crisps. Sometimes he will try something new which is great but has to be when he is ready.

It’s easy to judge and put it down to parents not caring or not trying but in the vast majority of cases it’s not that simple. I know DS is a very extreme case!

The children don't even have to eat, feed them at home..take some colouring books or a tablet, ask the waiter for a scoop of ice cream...job done

I was going to say the same thing. It's difficult with fussy eaters, but IMO, the more of a deal you make over it, the more likely they are to dig their heels in.

The way she phrased it as not being 'kid friendly' makes it sound as though you've been difficult, not that her kids are fussy!

vikingwife well I'm Scandi and have kids and I so agree with you, but I guess we are about to be told otherwise .

You can't cater your birthday on one fussy child that's ridiculous. She can feed her kid before or choose something plain. What do her kids actually eat?

She can F off. I have a very fussy niece and my SIL just orders her chips or potatoes off the main menu and whatever else she can find that DN may like. It’s not your problem she has fussy kids! It’s only one meal, her children won’t starve to death if they can’t find anything they like. Or tell her to bring snacks for them!!!!

@giantangryrooster it’s quite interesting, the cultural differences surrounding mealtimes & children’s food. Growing up things like nuggets & sausages were treat / sometimes foods, not everyday fare !

I haven't RTFT as I don't want to increase my blood pressure by reading the no doubt numerous posts saying "well my child just eats what we eat, their favourite food is leek and olive casserole!"

However, I don't think YABU at all. I was all prepared to say you were when I saw the title as I can't stand it when people are snobby about "children's menus", but a) it's your birthday and 2) I bet the restaurant could have done something really plan for your SILs kids if needed.

My 4 year old is a horribly fussy eater and believe me I have always given him what we have. I did baby led weaning. He will eat these things:

• Bread or any type of bread product (roll, wrap, pitta etc)
• Pasta or spaghetti with either pesto or a tomato sauce (but no bits and no meat sauces like bolognese)
• Plain rice
• Veg: only cucumber. Literally no other vegetable, unless I put it in the aforementioned tomato sauce for pasta
• Fruit: most fruit but not raspberries
• Dairy: cheese (cheddar only) and fruity yoghurt
• Houmous
• Meat: chicken, sausage, ham
• Pizza, cheese and tomato only
• Garlic bread

That's basically it.

@Sirzy I’m so sorry to hear that. I have experience with a close friend’s child and ARFID is horrid and widely misunderstood, however there’s a HUGE difference between ARFID and just plain fussy eaters.

I hate going to places where the adult menu is full of lovely meals, particularly when you go to a restaurant that is serving food from a different country and then the kids menu is just fishfingers/sausages/nuggets and chips.

We often have to order from the adults menu for the kids or ask for a small portion. They always seem surprised that the kids want to eat certain things like moules frites, or sushi or Thai green curry!

Are the children's options expensive for what they are? It could be that rather than the actual food?