AIBU - Child friendly kids menu...

[Blearymorningeyes]

Is there such a thing as a "child friendly" kids menu? Surely all kids menus are child friendly?!

I invited my SIL to my favourite Mexican restaurant for my birthday. She has 2 DC, ages 4 and 7.

I sent her the kids menu to look at, which has mini versions of Mexican fare such as fajitas, nachos and enchiladas, plus some "plainer" things too, such as chicken breast with mash. She just messaged me saying "Hi Bleary, can we please choose a different restaurant, because the kids menu doesn't really look very child friendly?". I feel sad as I and was so looking forward to going to this particular restaurant for my birthday and I don't see why her kids wouldn't like at least one thing on the menu - it's pretty standard, isn't it?! By "child friendly" does that translate to "It doesn't have sausages/fish fingers and chips"?

AIBU in thinking that my birthday restaurant choice shouldn't be changed because of this?

I hate confrontation... Help!

Blimey - the idea of changing the venue for your birthday because of SIL's kids?

Not in a billion years. She needs to learn how to decline invitations gracefully (and teach her children to do the same) and you need to learn to identify CF answers like this and say "oh shame, we'll send photos" or something.

Your birthday, your choice!! They can bring a sandwich for the kids or whatever they consider to be child friendly or just suck it up.

Kids need to learn that they're not the centre of the universe. She can leave them at home with a babysitter or they can suck it up and have a plain chicken wrap. Under no circumstances change the restaurant!!

Your SIL is the one being unreasonable. Go the restaurant you want to for your birthday!

We were brought up eating 'normal' food in restaurants - there weren't always child meals available back then, and even then it was often just a smaller portion - we learned to find something we liked! OK, her kids might have food issues but she'd probably have referred to that. Are her kids going to be eating nursery food forever?

I guess it depends what you said to her.
E.g you send the menu and said let me know what you think
As a side note mash and fajitas is just wrong

Honestly my kids are fussy buggers and wouldn't eat any of that but I would never ask you to change restaurants when it's clearly your birthday choice!

Don't change the venue, it's a good lesson for them that the world doesn't revolve around them, despite what their mother seems to think. My granddaughter's 9 (and a 1/2, very important apparently!) and she looks at a menu and her eyes roll if it what she calls an ' 'chips ' menu.

Well if they're so fussy that they won't have things like plain chicken, rice, tortilla chips nor the lovely Mexican food, then there's no hope for them as far as finding somewhere that they'll eat, because it will inevitably be somewhere dull selling crap food.

Just tell SIL that you're going to this restaurant for your birthday and it's up to her whether she, with or without her DC, joins you.

Also, there’s a difference between saying “my kids won’t eat anything on that menu” and “that menu doesn’t look very child-friendly”. The second seems much more judgemental and would make me much less likely to want to accommodate the person saying it!

And I’ve been that fussy kid (and am still that fussy adult). Good life lesson to just get on with it, eat what you can and compensate later / at home.

As for 'not very child friendly' what does she think children in Mexico eat?

I think some parents get into the mindset of only ever looking at a children's menu rather than the main menu and working out what could be shared between the children.

Are there any "less offensive" offerings on the main menu like a burger that the children could split? Or side orders?

I hated children's menus with a passion, bloody chicken nuggets! In a way I am glad mine are now teens although now it costs a bloody fortune to eat out

And yes, your sister is being ridiculous. I always saw this as an opportunity for children to try new stuff. They aren't going to starve. I am sure there must be a dessert menu.

“Dear SiL, We are sticking with xxxx restaurant, because it’s a particular birthday favourite of ours. There are some plainer things on the menu, but if you feel you really don’t want to join us, we’ll have to meet up soon somewhere else”.

I'm sure there will be something the kids can eat, even if it's something amended from the adults menu.
What about just a cheese quesadilla? It's not different than a cheese toastie but using tortillas instead. My toddler loves those.

Suggests she takes her kids to McDonalds on the way and they can just have desert at the restaurant.

Maybe she doesn’t want the stress of dealing with two pissed off kids for however long you all sit there for and would actually much rather not gone at all? My children are stupidly fuzzy and would eat neither chicken breast nor mash until they were about 4/5. They’d only begrudgingly accept ‘beige’ kid food if there was nothing they actually liked in the menu (pretty much always). Kids menus are the absolute worst. Just make it clear to her that if she needs sometime to herself or doesn’t want to deal with the kids you won’t be offended if she gives your birthday meal a miss this year/the kids don’t come. I’d had it to the proverbial here with my kids through all this Covid shit. If they were still in the fussy stage the last thing I’d want is to take them to a restaurant where they wouldn’t eat anything.

Is it quite expensive? Maybe the cost is more of an issue than the actual food.

On the flip side my kids used to get really fed up when they were smaller and we ate out because every menu had the same few things in offering to the kids. We frequently used to end up picking something off of the main menu and splitting it between them- this could be an option.
alternatively I have found independent restaurants very accommodating. Give them a call and find out if they have any alternatives for kids? I think in light of what is going on with covid they would be keen to hold on to your booking.

children are stupidly fuzzy

Have you tried waxing them?

Sorry haven't read the thread if I've missed and update OP but a slightly different perspective to most PPs. I wouldn't get hung up on whether a children's menu isn't child friendly to her. She presumably knows her children and is best placed to judge what they'd enjoy.

Is it a large party in which case she's being unreasonable but be prepared for her to decline - many parents wouldn't take their children to a restaurant from which their children wouldn't eat. If it's just you and them then I wouldn't insist on going somewhere that most people wouldn't enjoy, particularly because if she says no then you don't have a meal.

Good luck.

YANBU. Definitely don't change the restaurant. The staff will probably be happy to give them some plain chicken to have.

She is being unreasonable. Is she paying for her kids, if so is is too expensive? My DD's first restaurant meal was buttered tortilla and avocado, brought by the owner who explained it's what Mexican kids are weaned on when I looked worried, she loved it ! What kid doesn't like nachos?

Tell her you will let her know how your birthday celebrations went and that you are sorry she will have to miss out because she panders to her children.

I would say you are still planning on going there, but (if you are happy to) it would be nice to celebrate another time, somewhere else with them if they don't want to go. It's not unreasonable for her to raise concerns that her children won't eat anything, but similarly it's not unreasonable for you to still go.

She's made her kids fussy eaters. No way would I change.

I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t like nachos or quesadilla. A lot of the issues people have with kids issues are their own to be honest