The fucking seagulls have seized my garden and won't let me in it

[ShriekyBastards]

Stupid twatting seagulls have had babies that are wandering aimlessly around my garden and I get divebombed by the parents if I dare step foot out there. Two days of gorgeous sunshine and I can't let DS play out there because they wouldn't stop flying at our heads and I genuinely think they would attack us if I hadn't gone back inside ran away screaming. Can't even let the dog out for a wee and have to put him on lead, and drag DS down the road every time he needs to go. They woke DS (who usually sleeps 7-7) up at 4am this morning, so we're all knackered and grumpy but seriously. Why are they protected?! Stupid sky rats

Get a powerful water gun

Big black umbrella and flap it open and shut at them

I don't know for sure whether it would work but it would give the neighbours a laugh.😆

Lots of raspberry netting/ fruit cages?

Are they protected? Didn't know that.

Awww babies. Sorry, not helpful/

Wear a massive hat with EYES painted on top.

We had this a few years ago. Sadly, we tried everything, but until the babies were big enough to fly over the garden wall we couldn't set foot outside. My little sister ended up with stitches in her scalp after the mum attacked her (she'd dropped a toy out of her bedroom window and nipped out to grab it). They're absolutely evil little bastards!

You can’t do anything because baby seagulls are cute. 😁

Is there food around? They generally congregate in areas where they can eat. Remove the food source and they will move on.

Safety glasses are a must.
You may need to rig up a contraption if you need to carry things down the garden under the Protect-O-Spinner

They're not cute. They're loud and annoying and scatter rubbish everywhere (my username belies my hatred of them) bin bag opening wankers.

One in each hand?
Make sure Norman next door is pre-warned.

Pic

Maybe if you take food out to them they will decide you are their friend and not attack you. That's DH's idea, not mine.

No no rubbish or food out there. It just seems to be that the babies can't fly yet so therefore can't leave our garden and now I'm not allowed in it. No idea how they bloody got in my garden though.

Captain How long did it take for them to bugger off?

Some excellent suggestions, so far I've stood in the conservatory screaming and clanging pans together but that achieved nothing bar neighbours thinking I'm insane. I've resorted to cussing them out on the internet, apparently.

That's awful. No suggestions, OP, sorry, but you have my sympathy. I think they're terrifying!

Don't worry OP I'm being held hostage too. My laundry has been out for 3 days (I could get it now but I cba).
I screamed that I am not interested in their noisy brown speckled shitting machines but they don't listen. Even I wasn't such a smug tiger mother when my kids were little.
My street looks like all the residents are promenading with parasols, you can't walk down it without a brolly for protection.
Unfortunately I have a neighbour who feeds the damn things 😕

We've got loads of seagulls nesting on the roof of our building. Long lies don't exist in the summer. We recently had someone out to repair the roof and they flat out said they wouldn't do it until the seagulls leave to avoid the dive bombing. My DP looked in to how to remove them and came up with a loss because they're protected. Other buildings nearby have fake eagles flying from a string on a tall pole. No idea if it actually works but not ideal to have it in a garden anyway. Really feel your pain OP. Such a nightmare, sorry can't be more help.

No help, but today my fb memory was of this time 4 years ago where the seagulls dive bombed a random dog who took shelter in our kitchen after being chased up the driveway!
Why on earth are flying rats protected?

No help, but today my fb memory was of this time 4 years ago where the seagulls dive bombed a random dog who took shelter in our kitchen after being chased up the driveway!
Why on earth are flying rats protected?

There was a building near us that had a flat roof and was plagued by seagulls. The owners of the business asked someone with a red kite to fly the bird around the perimeter of the building. The seagulls left after a few weeks of this. The beautiful bird never attacked or engaged the gulls. The owner let it fly back and forth for treats.

From personal experience, if you act confident (e.g. stand straight and look at them) they are less likely to dive bomb you, even if they have chicks in the vicinity.

Scaring the parents off may mean that you prolong the problem because it will take longer for the chicks to grow if the parents can't feed them properly. It's amazing how quickly the chicks can grow if the seagulls are left to their own devices!

Why the heck are they protected? They're hardly bloody scarce! If anyone knows Hereford, the Castle hotel, my stay was ruined because the bastards inhabit the moat and woke me up at 4am every morning. Seagulls are dicks.

Waits for someone to point out that they’re heron gulls or some such nonsense so I can say ‘I DON’T CARE’

Seagulls are the most annoying birds, why are they protected?!

Could you make a trail of food to lead outside the garden then shut the gate and hope they stay where they are. We have had two fall off our roof, one cacked it and the other we managed to move into the lane which eventually disappeared. The babies are cute but just take a walk along the sea front and you will soon be reminded that they are indeed rats with wings.