The fucking seagulls have seized my garden and won't let me in it

[ShriekyBastards]

Stupid twatting seagulls have had babies that are wandering aimlessly around my garden and I get divebombed by the parents if I dare step foot out there. Two days of gorgeous sunshine and I can't let DS play out there because they wouldn't stop flying at our heads and I genuinely think they would attack us if I hadn't gone back inside ran away screaming. Can't even let the dog out for a wee and have to put him on lead, and drag DS down the road every time he needs to go. They woke DS (who usually sleeps 7-7) up at 4am this morning, so we're all knackered and grumpy but seriously. Why are they protected?! Stupid sky rats

@ShriekyBastards

The fluffy little prick is still out there. 3.30am they started screaming today, and instantly DS was wide awake thinking it was morning. Threw the whole day out of whack. Dog looks highly unimpressed about being dragged down the road in the pissing rain rather than just having a wee in the garden. Any cuteness is lost to the sheer fucking annoyance.

Awww but look at its little fluffy face

I wouldn't be able to resist going out in a very tall hat and GRABBING it.

I've got your baby, gull.

You shouldn't have left it in my garden.

Now scream all you like.

Are you in Brighton by any chance...?

I have no answers but this thread is hilarious.

Pick the chick up and put it over the fence?! Pick it up?! Are you people trying to get me killed? The fucker dive bombed me just for walking to the garage in the opposite direction to its devil spawn! If I dare to even look out the window by back door I am faced with this!

Oh OP....I shouldn’t laugh

But your last message is just perfect

They are like PFB parents aren’t they?

“HOW DARE YOU LOOK AT MY BABY!!!!!”

Try leaving a helpful lasagne outside for the new mum?

@LunaNorth

Is it just me that finds it ironic that so many posters are encouraging the OP to play God with wildlife during a global pandemic that was probably caused by humans playing God with wildlife?!

I don’t understand the reasoning behind people suggesting ways to permanently scare the parents away. Even if OP was successful in doing so (which is a slim possibility) she would be left with chicks starving to death in her garden/sitting targets for predators or she would have to ask an already overstretched wildlife charity to take them.

If it’s any consolation OP, the parents may stop dive bombing you before the chicks fly away. The parents of our current chick (Horatio) used to dive bomb any passing dog but have stopped that recently.

At this time of year, my town (seaside town in North Wales) turns into a seagull nursery but I have never been dive bombed by a parent, even when I have been toe-to-toe with one of their offspring, herding them off the road (fucking Horatio!). Maybe it’s because the seagulls around here are left to their own devices, so the parents don’t view humans as a threat to their chicks? I don't know anyone who has tried to scare parents and chicks out of their garden and I, nor anyone I know, has taken measures to stop them coming back. It’s just accepted as part and parcel of living here.
How old is your son OP? From your posts he sounds quite young. Could you turn this into a learning experience for him, e.g. discuss how the parents look after their chicks just like you’ll always look after him and explain how it’s important to stay away from the babies so that they don’t feel scared?
Hang tight OP and watch this on repeat:
Exactly @DuineArBith Because some species of gull are scarce, and if they were no longer protected people would attack gulls indiscriminately putting the scarce species in major danger of extinction I have marine biologist friends who can’t differentiate between the different species.
@Gatr Is the one currently on the floor able to fly? If not, returning it to a nest should lessen their ferocity. It’s perfectly normal for seagull chicks to leave the nest at a young age. Attempting to return the chicks to the nest will probably piss the parents off and the chicks won’t stay put.

The herring gull population has declined by over 50% since the 1970's

Gulls. being a species who nest on cliffs, adapt very well to the fake cliff environment we have created for them in our towns - especially as our roofs are warmer and more sheltered/ There's an occasional supply of food from careless humans, but most of them still commute to out-of-town fields for worms.
They will scorn spikes, noises, fake owls and most other deterrents.
The best we can do is cover over our rubbish bags, keep an umbrella by the back door and if you can't love them, at least admire them for their intelligence, parenting and bravery.

bin day today.
gulls are sitting on the roofs since 4am to bag their best spot.
we will only take our bags out in a mad dash once the lorry is 2 doors down or the bastards will shred the bags to bits.

If a buzzard or sparrow hawk also comes to your garden you won't have a problem.

@bluefoxmug you must have more aggressive gulls than the ones here? The large vicious ones?

Ours are smaller and more polite! I thought about this thread when I went to tescos just now, loads of them hopping around

Don’t try Adrian Mole’s way of getting rid of aggressive swans: he tries reporting them to the council, saying “they belong to the Queen, so she is responsible for their behaviour, and Her Majesty could end up in court.”

The reply he receives is that his complaints about his neighbour Mr Swan have been noted. Adrian replies to explain that it’s about a mute swan, not a human; he is then accused of being disablist.

I was just talking about this with a friend yesterday. I have had to change my running route to avoid being dive bombed. They are horrible creatures.

My brother is a farmer and once a seagull flow into the tractor cab when he was ploughing a field and was flapping around inside the tractor with him! They were both terrified and the seagull shat in his lunch box 😂

Sorry that doesn't help your problem, but it was funny. I hate them too and hope the babies leave your garden soon.

Also, a seagull in our garden has been eating those plastic balls out of DS's ball pit. Good luck for that coming out the other end.

How anyone can say they are cute is beyond me ! I'm absolutely terrified of them.

I torment seagulls by eating with my kitchen window open.
Quite frankly they deserve it.

@RhapsodyandAshe not too far open!!

Love that last phot OP 😂

If it's any consolation I don't think seagulls are as bad as Hadeda's. They are big VERY LOUD ibis type birds. We had some on our roof every single morning when we lived in South Africa. Their friends lived on the opposite side of the valley and they all kept in touch by squawking to each other from the first crack of dawn. Squawk, squawk, squawk from the ones on my roof then squawk, squawk, squawk from the ones across the valley. It was so loud and so pointless.

I couldn't have hated them more.

This thread is amazing

Mouldy Dodo
Shat in his lunchbox
Pole Vaulting dogs
Pick it up?!

Dont get seagulls round here, thank God!

This popped up on my FB timeline just now

I love that last picture. It’s completely terrifying!

DPs had this problem on their terrace with pigeons and got rid of them by sprinkling a kilo bag of chilli powder over the area where they liked to sit and nest. Obvs sea gulls are more aggro than pigeons and if your garden is big it’s completely impractical but may be worth a shot.

OP is this you?!!

link