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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the majority of you are fatphobic?

414 replies

Beebee8 · 12/07/2020 19:18

Just that.

OP posts:
viques · 12/07/2020 21:37

[quote Beebee8]@FancyPants20

You're certain the heart attacks were weight related, not health related?

Thin people can have heart attacks caused by the same issues as fat people, but nobody would say it was anything to do with their weight.

Someone's weight in and of itself is not any indication of health. You cannot look at someone and know how they became that weight, or how they are currently living. Not that it would be any of anyone's business, but someone who was classed as 'obese' could change their eating and exercise habits to adequately nourish themselves and not lose weight, but society would still deem them as lesser.

Nobody deserves to be made to feel like shit for how they look.[/quote]
The problem isn't how people look . The problem is precisely where you can't look ie in the fatty liver that can't work efficiently, the clogged arteries reducing blood flow, the layers of fat pumping the wrong messages into the blood stream causing the diabetes that will bankrupt the NHS unless it is reduced in the population, the strain on a heart having to pump blood through miles of extra blood vessels, the breathing difficulties caused by a fat neck, the lungs that struggle to take in enough oxygen, the exhaustion and pain caused by carrying excess weight on a skeleton not designed for it, the skin lesions and infections caused by skin folds, the leg ulcers , the reduced fertility, the increased chance of a high risk pregnancy ...............

Forget wittering on about body confidence, body shaming and fat phobia , what we need is to be making sure everyone is aware of how obesity destroys their body, curtails their enjoyment of life, cripples their mobility and drastically reduces their life expectancy.

And yes, somepeople have medical reasons for obesity, and some have emotional reasons.

Walkaround · 12/07/2020 21:39

The problem with being fat is that it is a very visible sign of not being in optimal health. There are countless reasons for people ending up fat, but none of them are healthy. Slim people don’t advertise their ill health in quite such visible ways, so they can get away with unhealthy behaviours undetected. As a society, we judge each other far too much on appearances.

Walkaround · 12/07/2020 21:41

Basically, fat is not a moral issue, but it bloody well is a health one.

Mum2jenny · 12/07/2020 21:42

Jellycat I’m with you, I’m scared that my friends who have higher BMIs will die prematurely and I can do nothing to stop this.

SunshineCake · 12/07/2020 21:43

Fatphobic - scared of fat people.

Discriminating against fat people - twats.

Pinkyyy · 12/07/2020 21:43

You started off this thread in quite a bitchy way, so you're bound to have bitchy responses.

My opinion-
Am I scared of fat people? No.
Do I think that there's absolutely no excuse to be morbidly obese to the point where you're at a very high risk of death? Absolutely.
At the same time though, I don't think everyone needs to be a size 8, you can be healthy at a size 14/16.

But then for a lot of fat people, it's an addiction and people need help to recover. Food addiction is as bad as drug or alcohol addiction and I hope that anyone suffering can get the help they need.

CathyTre · 12/07/2020 21:45

People do have a skewed idea of weight. I’m nearly five foot seven and about nine and a half stone or a bit more (60 kilos). I’ve had people say I’m skinny. I’m no where near skinny! I’ll prove it with these photos. This is mid range healthy bmi (ignore what I have in my hands, that’s a whole other story!) not thin. I’d ideally like to lose a few ponds and tone up, so no I don’t think I’m fat (although I am not toned), but I’m not “skinny” either.

To think the majority of you are fatphobic?
To think the majority of you are fatphobic?
Rosiejim · 12/07/2020 21:46

You sound really unpleasant and bitter. What’s your angle? If you’re unhappy then loose weight. I’m not “fatphobic” but I think people who are overweight should manage their weight because obesity leads to many health issues however if you choose not to then that’s your choice

CathyTre · 12/07/2020 21:47

Ponds?? Pounds. I have no excess ponds 😂

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2020 21:47

I can't imagine being scared of 64% of the adult population.

I'd never leave the house!

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2020 21:48

@CathyTre

Ponds?? Pounds. I have no excess ponds 😂
Shame. I was going to suggest water retention! 😂😂😂
donquixotedelamancha · 12/07/2020 21:49

Name one positive about being fat.

  • You can survive longer without food are water.
  • You float more easily.
  • People think you are jolly.
  • You make a more convincing Father Christmas.
  • If you ever time travel back to the Renaissance then you will be very attractive.
  • You don't need to try hard to get a Kim Kardashian bum.
  • You feel the cold a lot less.
  • There are no songs by Queen or Sir Mixalot about how sexy skinny girls are.
  • Serial killers will generally keep you alive for much longer in the hope of wearing your skin.
  • if you feel sad you can pretend to be thin by watching American reality TV.
  • You'd make a much better opera singer than a skinny person.

I can lose weight but you will always be ugly.

CathyTre · 12/07/2020 21:50

😂😂

donquixotedelamancha · 12/07/2020 21:51

I can't imagine being scared of 64% of the adult population

You've never been to Blackpool on a weekend.

Northernsoullover · 12/07/2020 21:53

I have been working my way towards fat during the latter stages of lockdown. Excess eating combined with a completed sedentary life (I was very active). I don't want to be overweight. I've watched my resting heart rate creep up by 12 during this. I'm not bothered or scared by overweight people. I just want to be healthy and fit. That is all.

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2020 21:53

@donquixotedelamancha

I can't imagine being scared of 64% of the adult population

You've never been to Blackpool on a weekend.

Fair point! 😂😂
SparkLee · 12/07/2020 21:54

I'm obese and hate every fucking second of my miserable life. I lose weight, have a relapse, pile it on again. Rinse and repeat year after year. Every time I get out of the vicious cycle, I have a weak moment and it doesn't take long to start it up again. I've been called names in school, in the street, on nights out, online, by my own family etc. I have no self-worth, no real joy, I feel the only reason I am here is for others to take advantage of my soft and kind nature and get what they want. TW, I have developed bulimia, have self-harmed, had a mental breakdown over how unhappy I am and how fat, ugly and worthless I am. I have developed a people-pleasing problem because I don't feel like I deserve anyone to show me love or respect and feel I have to 'earn' it. I leave the house for work and try and avoid any social commitments because I can't stand anyone to see how obese I am. All because I have no will-power and feel so out of control of my eating. I am tired of fighting and have now just accepted that this is the way life will be for me.

frumpety · 12/07/2020 21:56

you feel cold a lot less

Coats, long sleeves, layers, basically anything more than a T-shirt is for wimps regardless of the weather/time of year if you are my shape Wink

Wannabefarmer · 12/07/2020 21:57

Why is everyone giving the op such a hard time about using 'fatphobic'? Homophobic doesn't mean a fear of gay people!

DianaT1969 · 12/07/2020 21:58

There was a programme called It's a Knockout when I was a child. People wore huge costumes and ran around falling over. I suppose if I had been in the crowd as a child and one had fallen on me, I could have turned out fatphobic. Otherwise nope.

Wannabefarmer · 12/07/2020 22:00

Phobia from the Greek φόβος, phóbos, meaning "fear", "morbid fear" or "aversion"

I got your back op 👊

Bibijayne · 12/07/2020 22:00

Fatphobic is a term used to describe some of the distress felt by people with anorexia and bulimia to the idea of gaining weight.

wildone84 · 12/07/2020 22:01

Yes, one good thing about being overweight is you do feel the cold less. I am technically underweight now according to my BMI, but I don't half feel the cold, as opposed to when I was bigger I was more comfortable temperature wise.

Beebee8 · 12/07/2020 22:09

@SparkLee I am so sorry, I can't even imagine the pain you must feel. But I do think there is hope for you to gain self worth. I'm not a doctor and didn't start this thread to give advice but may I suggest looking in to anti-diet literature and podcasts, as well as books on HAES? I feel like that could be a good starting point for you. Nobody deserves to feel like that.

OP posts:
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