Is 46/ 47 too late for first baby?

[Everythingnotsaved]

My friend really wants a baby & is nearly 46 & would probably be 47 by the time baby came. I always read really really different views on mumsnet about babies and pregnancy and age so thought I’d ask:

Yanbu- it’s too old
Yabu- it’s entirely possible

I am assuming shes looking at donor eggs but is it just about that - what about the child too with older parents? I don’t know what I think really.

It’s up to her (and her OH if there is one). Plenty of grandparents end up caring for kids, some full time if needed. I wouldn’t fancy it but I found it hard twenty years younger.

Way too old

Just because it's possible, doesn't mean she should. Definitely too old.

It's not fair on the child. I say this as someone whose oldest parent was a couple of years younger than your friend when I was born.

I had to deal with dementia, cancer and death at a younger age than any of my friends. It's very isolating, especially to an only child (or child with much older siblings). There is also a huge cultural difference.

I am 45
I have two kids and it’s rough / teen and tween and house full of hormones
It’s knackering etc etc
I wouldn’t in a billion years start at 46 / 47 years
BUT that’s me
It’s intensely personal decision and truly life changing

Well, it's possible, but no way would I do it.

To old.

I wouldn’t fancy it, but I have no idea what kind of relationship set-up or support network your friend has.

Definitely too old. My aunt had one at 45 and then IVF twins at 47, she regrets it.

Lots of women have babies in their 40s now so it’s not unusual. It depends on her and her energy levels I would have thought... is she pretty fit and well? She’ll be tired but she won’t have anything else to compare it against ( unlike people who have babies early and then go onto have more children later). Ultimately it’s her and her partners choice so you don’t need to “ think “ anything about it really

@Somethingorotherorother

Definitely too old. My aunt had one at 45 and then IVF twins at 47, she regrets it.

Oof, that’s a bit harsh.

I’m 50 by the way with an 8 year old and I feel fine. 🤷‍♀️

No far too old. It's possible, but she would be 60 when the child is 13. Very unfair on the child.

My 47 year old friend had twins last year. Her first set are 17!

@LunaNorth they all have additional needs, they are exhausting, her husband left and she's now 60 raising 3 incredibly difficult, destructive teens by herself.

@ComeOnEileen11

Just because it's possible, doesn't mean she should. Definitely too old.

This!

Lots of women have babies in their 40s now so it’s not unusual.

Early 40s, sure. Late 40s is definitely unusual, and with good reason.

Far too old. Very selfish at that age

Only your friend can make that decision. For me personally, I wouldn't want a baby at that age.
Babies are hard work, and tiring and I just can't imagine running around after them when I'm in my 40s. However I personally wanted children before 30, so it really is just a personal choice.

@Somethingorotherorother that’s really sad. I hope things improve for them all.

Too old. Not fair to the child. Adoption is an option, maybe adoption an idea

I also think people forget about the fact the child grows. Does she want to be dealing with a hormonal teenager when she's in her 60's? If so go for it.

Several women in my family have had babies as late as early 40's but I think think any later is just too late.

Talk us through what being a friend means to you.

If she is fit and healthy I don’t see why not.

It also depends on whether she is financial secure enough to be able to pay for help eg cleaners / nursery etc to give her a break.

I had my first at 42 but seem to have the same level of tiredness as mum friends a decade younger but being more mature has been a benefit in terms of greater confidence in myself, less stressed and more money to make life easier.

But I’ve be able to pay for a cleaner / a few hours of care each week from when they were very small to have a break plus nursery for a few days each week even though I don’t really need it.

If she wants to I don’t see why not but I wouldn’t leave it much later.