Son's girlfriend thinks suntans are racist

[DollyDaydream70]

I could be opening a real can of worms here, but I'm genuinely gobsmacked by a few things my Son's 18yr old girlfriend said to me last night..

First of all she asked me did I think it's racist for white girls to copy black girl's style. I had no clue what she was referring to as 'black girl's style' so asked her to elaborate. She then referred to a singer called Ariane Grande (who I know literally 0 about) and said that she tans herself until she's almost black and 'dresses like a black girl'.

I've Googled said singer and all I can find is a pic of her with Nikki Minaj where, yes, she looks dark, but so what? We've been tanning since Coco Chanel made it stylish in the 1920's, and probably long before that! What are we supposed to do? Stay indoors when the sun shines ffs?!!

Son's GF also stated that it's racist for a white person to wear corn rows in their hair. I told her that my friends and I used to corn row our hair a lot in the mid to late 80's, we used to stick wooden or plastic beads on the ends of our plaits, it was quite the fashion at the time!

What do you all think about this? Please tell me this is all going too far. I'm genuinely quite perplexed that tanning and corn rows could be deemed to be racist!

so the tan was definitely about status, not race.

Exactly my point, it's always been about status one way or the other.
Personally I like a bit of a tan because otherwise I look pale next to a bottle of cravendale. I'd never wear a bikini as my usually covered up skin is practically see through.

I dont get why south and east asian people get blasted for bleaching their skin or even just avoiding the sun for fear of getting darker yet white people dont get blasted for sun tanning and trying desperately to be like 10 shades darker than what is normal for them

My advice would be to tell your son to run for the hills.

There’s a big thing about cultural appropriation right now, people seem to thing linked to black rights and slavery and it’s a new thing rather Than something that has been happening for ..,, well since the beginning of time. It’s probably the most ironic trend that is currently circulating as a hashtag.

Without historical cultural appropriation everyone would still be living in caves/in forests etc. Italians, wouldn’t be wearing trousers, people with sub Saharan heritage wouldn’t be corn rowing their hair. No domesticated animals, no knives and forks, we would all be eating a lot differently. No baths, saunas etc. Art, in all forms would be different to the extremes. No little Cupid’s on cards, planets/months would have different names. No Harry Potter!!!

Maybe a different view would be people have been sold a pup regarding cultural appropriation- to the extent it’s been assimilated into people’s minds whilst all the time it’s a mechanism of divide and rule (sorry I’ve nicked that phrase)

@Solomi

I dont get why south and east asian people get blasted for bleaching their skin or even just avoiding the sun for fear of getting darker yet white people dont get blasted for sun tanning and trying desperately to be like 10 shades darker than what is normal for them

Systemic racism. Being darker skinned / wearing bindis / wearing saris / braids is only considered cool or sexy if you’re white. It you are a person of colour then white people need you to aspire to white beauty standards to accept you.

[quote GrumpyHoonMain]@SimonJT - I am of Indo-Pakistani origin too. The Most Pakistanis can only pass for white amongst other Pakistanis. Even the palest, blue eyed, red haired amongst us don’t pass for white so don’t try to fudge the issue.[/quote]
We’re originally from gilgit, we do not have ‘typical’ facial features of other Pakistanis (such as nose and eye shape), we’re also taller. I most definitely pass for white when I don’t have a tan, when I do have a tan I tend to get mistaken for Souther European. I always correct people as I think its important to represent your ethnicity.

I know some people would think saying Pakistani is controversial when many people want to be part of India, many think due to our ethnicity we shouldn’t be part of either.

@Solomi because it’s what happens naturally to white skin in the sun, fake tan is just replicating a natural phenomenon in a safer manner!

Please tell me you can actually see the difference!

Yet again another goady thread where no-one wants to listen, you only want to revel in your 'PC gone mad' 'people are too woke' 'black people whiten their skin too and straighten their hair'.

No-one is talking about a natural suntan, so please stop getting outraged about 'suntanning' too dark. It's called blackfishing where you fake tan yourself so dark that you look racially ambiguous, a certain way of styling yourself etc. I have attached a photo for reference.

Yes some black people unfortunately whiten their skin, but it's after feeling like they aren't good enough and that they need to conform with Western standards of beauty (colourism is still rife unfortunately, e.g. Maya Jama was rude about dark skinned women even though she was dating a dark skinned man).

Straight hair isn't owned by white people (you do find black people with naturally straight hair, you also get black people with naturally blonde hair). But again the cultural appropriate comes in when we get called unprofessional/scruffy/inappropriate for wearing braids, cornrows or other protective styles, but when someone of another race does it, they're celebrated. Also straightening hair is another way of fitting in with Western beauty standards, so no it's not racist.

Yet another thread sprinkled with casual racism.
Have reported a whole lot of you.

@Solomi

I dont get why south and east asian people get blasted for bleaching their skin or even just avoiding the sun for fear of getting darker yet white people dont get blasted for sun tanning and trying desperately to be like 10 shades darker than what is normal for them

One is a natural process the other isn’t. White skin also hasn’t been subjected to generations of discrimination.

Bleaching is also really really awful for your skin.

@Solomi

I dont get why south and east asian people get blasted for bleaching their skin or even just avoiding the sun for fear of getting darker yet white people dont get blasted for sun tanning and trying desperately to be like 10 shades darker than what is normal for them

Maybe because bleaching is a conscious effort whereas tanning is accidental? I spend a lot of time outdoors with my job and have a permanently slightly tanned skin at about 16 on this scale but my natural colour is 1. I don't try to get that skin colour, it just happened over the years and never goes back to my natural colour in winter.

@tootooot

So if white women cant have corn rows etc can I be offended at Beyoncé being blonde?

This is getting ridiculous.

Have blonde people suffered generations of oppression for having blonde hair?

@totooot
Have you, as a fairhaired person, been oppressed by people of colour, because of your blondeness? No? then, no you can't. Go and educate yourself about cultural appropriation and grow up.

Do you realise that people where Ariana is from are actually descended from both Italians and Arabs,

I assume you are referring to how she identifies as half Sicilian?
Well she would not be descended from Arabs because their last invasion of Sicily was over a thousand years ago and it only lasted 200yrs until the Norman French invaded in eleventh century. It’s highly unlikely that 900yrs later there is any Berber DNA in her and certainly not enough to affect her skin colour.

If they have then they would undoubtedly be too stupid to realise.

That was to @simonjt and the quote didn't work.

If any of my relations lectures me on the ludicrous white privilege I will tell them in that case they won’t want any property/cash out of my will, so I will leave it to the dog’s home that will shut the little idiots up.

I think you were trying to be cool with the above statement but instead you’ve only broadcasted your wilful ignorance. Congratulations.

@NeedToKnow101

I think the UK is importing a dangerously divisive way of thinking from the US. I also think that this racial and social division is benefitting people at the very top.

Anyone can have plaits, maids and factory workers in the UK wore/wear plaits, class-based oppression.
Hardly any white women in the UK would wear their hair in cornrows, apart from on holiday abroad. They might wear boxer braids, but this style was never exclusive to black women.

Women are pressurised to look 'polished' in certain work environments (not mine, there are all sorts of hairstyles including dreadlocks and afros; it's not an issue).

Many, many white women don't have sleek straight hair and also (feel like they) have to spend time, money and chemicals straightening it/ dying it: highlighting it etc, to 'conform' in a corporate work environment, or in a 'glamorous' role. Both white and black women could choose to keep their hair very short (and easier to manage)in a corporate environment. We have anti-discrimination laws that cover hair and they should be used if needed.

I'm not saying this to deny racism or discrimination, but I wish we could find a common ground, rather than this US-centric view of the world.

I think this us an accurate summation.

Also surprised to find Rita Ora isn’t black. Does that mean she considers black more acceptable than Eastern European in the cultural scheme of things. Or maybe just music.

I forgot to attach the example of blackfishing in my previous post, here it is.

Bet you can’t wait for her next visit OP she sounds a bundle of laughs

I only heard of Ariana Grande when the Manchester bombing happened and even then she was only on the edge of my awareness. From the few photos I've seen I would have assumed that she was an least partly BAME. That's was in some part due to her styling and her darker skin tone. I can't comment one way or another on whether this is a problem or not.

I once worked with someone who looked like your average young white woman. She went on holiday for 2 weeks and came back incredibly dark skinned and that was just her skins natural reaction to the sun. She certainly couldn't be accused of appropriating blackness.

Constantly focusing on what's racist and what's not is racism on its own in my belief. Because it's patronizing. It's basically treating people of colour like snowflakes.

Seen it all before.
It was called being "Politically Correct" in the 80s and did the same excellent job of distracting us all from the important things gong on in the world around us.

Rita Ora is an interesting example, as an ethnic Albanian would she not be classed as BAME? If you google pictures of her as a child she hasn’t changed herself as much as I had expected.