Son's girlfriend thinks suntans are racist

[DollyDaydream70]

I could be opening a real can of worms here, but I'm genuinely gobsmacked by a few things my Son's 18yr old girlfriend said to me last night..

First of all she asked me did I think it's racist for white girls to copy black girl's style. I had no clue what she was referring to as 'black girl's style' so asked her to elaborate. She then referred to a singer called Ariane Grande (who I know literally 0 about) and said that she tans herself until she's almost black and 'dresses like a black girl'.

I've Googled said singer and all I can find is a pic of her with Nikki Minaj where, yes, she looks dark, but so what? We've been tanning since Coco Chanel made it stylish in the 1920's, and probably long before that! What are we supposed to do? Stay indoors when the sun shines ffs?!!

Son's GF also stated that it's racist for a white person to wear corn rows in their hair. I told her that my friends and I used to corn row our hair a lot in the mid to late 80's, we used to stick wooden or plastic beads on the ends of our plaits, it was quite the fashion at the time!

What do you all think about this? Please tell me this is all going too far. I'm genuinely quite perplexed that tanning and corn rows could be deemed to be racist!

@FelicityBeedle

No one is saying tanning is racist, but some ‘celebs’ tan to the point they look black and use black culture to further their own fame, that is obviously an issue.

I would like to see an example of this?

Would you say that a black person living in a majority white area, associating with white friends, wearing typical white teen styles, etc is trying to be white or lacking a personal sense of identity?

They get called “coconuts” and “bountys”.

I would still like to know what black cultural clothing is Ariana Grande wearing because Google ain't no help for once...

@eveningfalls

I would like to see an example of this?

Link that Ghetto posted at 7:07

If someone (anyone!) masqueraded as an Irish person in order to try and further their career and boost their income they’d probably be called out for it too. Surely?! Can’t think of a time when anyone would do that though..

You've never been in Chicago, Boston, or New York at election time then.

My point was in response to SimonJT's assertion that a whiter appearance is never a negative. I wanted to clarify that white isn't a heterogenous whole.

Black women get described as unprofessional and are berated for hair and style choices
White women make the same style choices and get praise

This is all that had to be said.

This is all that had to be said

So why is the response "therefore, white women should not wear these hair styles because it's not fair" rather than "therefore, people should stop being racist and berating black women for their hair style choices"?

They get called “coconuts” and “bountys”.

Allow me to add 'Oreos'.

More's the pity.

What is Black clothing? I gather people don't mean traditional African clothing?

No it's not all that has to be said @DeeCeeCherry.

FFS Improve living standards and education for black beople.

Make higher education and academia less exclusionary

Support immigration

Support black owned businesses

Campaign for slavery reparations

Point out the lack of black people in the media / positive role models

But don't worry about OTHER PEOPLE'S HAIR! 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷‍♀️

So why is the response "therefore, white women should not wear these hair styles because it's not fair" rather than "therefore, people should stop being racist and berating black women for their hair style choices"?

This

And what smiled said

As previous posters have said black women often get slated for having their hair in braids or dreds whereas white woman are seen as cool or it's acceptable.
Slaves would often hide corn or seeds in the braids so that they would have food to survive with after being sold. It's culturally important to black people , no one is saying you can braid your hair , it's more about learning what is less culturally insensitive

Again the same with tanning , nothing wrong with a tan but black women who are dark skinned are often looked down on by not only white people but by other black people with lighter complexions , along with black fishing , I can understand why black people would find it sensitive , when they get told their skin colour is ugly but it's ok a white person

It's very simple, if a white person is wearing a style that a black person would face discrimination for (dreadlocks, braids etc) and is instead seen to be being fashionable, that's cultural appropriation and it's racist.

I've seen this argument raised throughout this thread but it really doesn't make any sense, does it? How does someone wearing the same style as you make you oppressed? Surely it's the actual discrimination that's the problem here?

If we say some groups of people aren't allowed to wear certain clothes or hairstyles then surely we are just creating weird divisions and even a sort of uniform? Creativity in dress and appearance is for everyone, and it's been great to live in a society where, up until recently, it felt like you could just be yourself and not have to conform to a stereotype. Why are we saying there needs to be more stereotypes and labels?

Also, if we say white people can't wear X only black people can, so white people wear Y, then black people also start wearing Y, does that mean white people can no longer wear Y also? It's just nonsensical and doesn't stand up to any kind of logical scrutiny. Of course people can wear whatever they want and do their hair how they please.

They definitely shouldn't be discriminated against for that - nobody should be. If black people are discriminated against for wearing styles of clothing that white people wear without being discriminated against, I don't think the answer is to tell white people to change their style. I think the answer is to stop the discrimination.

@MatildaTruce

What is Black clothing? I gather people don't mean traditional African clothing?

Nope. African clothing is African clothing.

"Black clothing" (the last time I checked, which has been a while) would be some of what you'd typically see in old RSPCA music videos. I'm sure someone has a wider knowledge. Haven't watched rap music videos in a long time so can't say what they wear now.

Rap...not RSPCA

No it's not all that has to be said @DeeCeeCherry**

On this particular topic, it is to me Smiled

Why would I explain that deeply since how problematic cultural appropriation in this unequal playing field of a world, is so difficult to grasp by many on this thread?

Hence I stuck to the actual topic. All else you've mentioned - You don't need to explain that to me.

@Andthewinnerislucky ah love those old RSPCA music videos 🐶🐱🐭

Where does it stop?

Can white people no longer play reggae or soul music?

Can white people no longer furnish their homes with decorative items from Africa?

[quote Babs709]@Andthewinnerislucky ah love those old RSPCA music videos 🐶🐱🐭[/quote]
They're all I watch now instead

If we say some groups of people aren't allowed to wear certain clothes or hairstyles then surely we are just creating weird divisions and even a sort of uniform?

Queenofknives Well - in 2020, our hairstyles should not be deemed problematic at school or work, by the majority culture. Most of whom are silent when it comes to supporting those experiencing this particular kind of thing, but will quickly pop up to defend their right to wear the very hairstyles that aren't deemed acceptable when the people wearing them aren't white.

I'm totally with you.

I think it's all going too far. How people find the time and energy to get offended by such minor things is beyond me. We are growing into a generation of complete snowflakes. If someone wants to fake tan to make themselves feel better who is anyone else to judge. Let them wear and fake tan as much as they want what is the problem. You literally can't breathe these days without someone being offended. FFS i despair.

Tbh I doubt the people who think "black hair" is not acceptable in any way or anywhere would be the same people liking and wanting to wear similar styles.

Same with music, slangs, etc.

DeeCeeCherry - what schools or workplaces exist that allow white children/employees to turn up to school/work with hairstyles that are banned amongst their black students/employees? I’m not aware of any institutions that set different rules for different members of staff/students?

@Andthewinnerislucky yup. Someone should have wider knowledge. Like the person who said Ariana Grande wears black cultural clothing. I tried to google but nothing bar the african styles comes up. So I was curious and I see I wasn't the only one based on post you were replying to.