Son's girlfriend thinks suntans are racist

[DollyDaydream70]

I could be opening a real can of worms here, but I'm genuinely gobsmacked by a few things my Son's 18yr old girlfriend said to me last night..

First of all she asked me did I think it's racist for white girls to copy black girl's style. I had no clue what she was referring to as 'black girl's style' so asked her to elaborate. She then referred to a singer called Ariane Grande (who I know literally 0 about) and said that she tans herself until she's almost black and 'dresses like a black girl'.

I've Googled said singer and all I can find is a pic of her with Nikki Minaj where, yes, she looks dark, but so what? We've been tanning since Coco Chanel made it stylish in the 1920's, and probably long before that! What are we supposed to do? Stay indoors when the sun shines ffs?!!

Son's GF also stated that it's racist for a white person to wear corn rows in their hair. I told her that my friends and I used to corn row our hair a lot in the mid to late 80's, we used to stick wooden or plastic beads on the ends of our plaits, it was quite the fashion at the time!

What do you all think about this? Please tell me this is all going too far. I'm genuinely quite perplexed that tanning and corn rows could be deemed to be racist!

I'm playing devil's advocate here, but it seems to be that the crux of the matter is that the issue is one of power. If you are more powerful than another cultural group and or have suppressed them, then you should not get to benefit/steal their ideas. I get that in many respects, but I think that it is applied inconsistently. For example, it's Ok for English to go out for a Friday night Chicken Tikka Masala, a dish pinched and adapted during colonialism, because most curry houses in the UK are owned and ran by Indians, therefore, presumably they are financially benefiting and have control as to whether to put it on their menu or not. But then, what about WetherSpoon's Curry night, M&S's curry take out etc? What about if Jamie Oliver opened a chain of Indian restaurants? Presumably that would n't sit so well. Although it's ok for him to run an Italian chain because we are comparatively equal to Italians in terms of power, despite Italians having dark hair and darker skin. However, I can only imagine the uproar if he opened an African themed chain serving collared greens and grits. So, I guess that black people are perhaps more sensitive than some other minority groups because, perhaps they are still suffering the effects of slavery/ historical poverty? But is it ok to own a Indian style rug, made in Turkey and sold in John Lewis? Is it ok to run a yoga class, thereby benefitting financially? Or is this something that is to restricted to clothes, phraseology, music insofar as that is seen as 'pretending to be from another culture' when you're not? Am just genuinely trying to understand what is ok and what is not and who decides?

@SimonJT “ Have people with pale skin faced generations of abuse for having pale skin?
Have people with pale hair faced generations of abuse for having pale hair?”

Yes, in some countries!

Clearly imitation is no longer the sincerest form of flattery and people should remain as culturally divided as possible.

@DeeCeeCherry

If we say some groups of people aren't allowed to wear certain clothes or hairstyles then surely we are just creating weird divisions and even a sort of uniform?

Queenofknives Well - in 2020, our hairstyles should not be deemed problematic at school or work, by the majority culture. Most of whom are silent when it comes to supporting those experiencing this particular kind of thing, but will quickly pop up to defend their right to wear the very hairstyles that aren't deemed acceptable when the people wearing them aren't white.

So the problem is not that white people are wearing particular hairstyles but that they are not doing more to support black people who are discriminated against for these same hairstyles?

I still think that it's the discrimination that's the major problem here.
If anyone at my workplace was discriminated against for their hairstyle, I think there would be an uproar. I don't think I've even heard of a case like this in the UK - surely most people would find this totally unacceptable? What's the prevalence of this and what's the legal remedy?

@Walkaround

Clearly imitation is no longer the sincerest form of flattery and people should remain as culturally divided as possible.

That's how it will end though. And with division comes resentment and hate🤷🏻

Quite quick change from "We are all one race. One human race" to "fuck off and make sure you don't braid your hair too familiarly with x style"

African themed chain serving collared greens and grits.

Those are typically (Black) American cuisine, not African cuisine but I get your point and I agree somewhat.

However, treating everyone as the same type of people (black-hating racists or white-hating race baiters) gets us nowhere.

Btw, genuinely I am finding this thread really interesting and educational, and will certainly be taking some comments on board. I think that's why it's so important that people are allowed to raise some of the these issues. I don't think that it helps if people label each other as racist as that shuts down debate, but there have been some really well thought out responses on here.

Quick google seems to show that in old rap videos women wore baggy clothing, modern rap seems to have women wearing little more than thongs.

Still confused but thank you to the op who responded.

Ah yes, I had men in mind when I was thinking about it because those were the main ones at the time. I remember the baggy clothes for women too and the opposite is the case now. For men, I don't know what has changed now...not as baggy as before but still baggy or tight jeans now? Don't know.

The baseball cap is/was another typical one. If it's backwards facing, then you're the coolest G.

@SchrodingersImmigrant I agree and refer you back to my previous comments about the concept of cultural appropriation coming from a white man talking about a Marxist concept and the principle of divide and rule. Talk about people racing to the bottom.

Why Cant people think beyond a hashtag?

Indeed.... better stop this immediately. Best to just say no to person offering to do the hair in case it annoys someone back home in the UK
Most white people wearing cornrows are young girls who have just come back from holiday somewhere hot and the braids will have been done by a black person on the beach for cash. How is this a problem for anyone?

I am white and my hair is unruly and I'm not allowed to braid my hair on hols whilst on the beach because of why exactly?

@ArnoldBee

Apparently not Can't people just wear what they want or have their hair how they want because that's what they like?

There are plenty of people out there looking to be offended at what you wear, how you style your hair, if you tan your skin etc.....

What about when black women straighten their hair? Is that cultural appropriation?

I've watched all of victorious and Sam and Cat and if you watch from first and last episode Ariana Grande gets darker and darker.

To lighten up the mood a bot. I am the only one who first misread the title and thought that it's about whether sultanas are racist?😂

Is it OK for a white person to wear Indian traditional dress to an Indian wedding?

Lol @SchrodingersImmigrant 🤣

#ThinkBeyondAHashtag

@SchrodingersImmigrant no you weren’t 😂. How long before some fucker comes along and says well actually yes they are - bloody dried fruit appropriating the use of a Term for Muslim king.

Fucking racist dried fruit. Bastards spreading their sun wizened hate!

😂 Glad it made some laugh.

I am used to sun tan as 2 words😂

@CatNoBag

From vague knowledge, Ariane Grande was a Disney child star and was made up to look fairer than she actually was when younger. Now that she is older and has the money and clout to determine her own style, she's no longer having to make herself look like a blue eyed blonde All American girl.

Well, that could explain a lot.

I can see people feel very strongly about this, seeing as there are all kinds of photoshopped images floating around, and I was wondering why anyone would bother.

[quote ResumetonormalASAP]@ArnoldBee

Apparently not Can't people just wear what they want or have their hair how they want because that's what they like?

There are plenty of people out there looking to be offended at what you wear, how you style your hair, if you tan your skin etc.....[/quote]
This is true, just like if a young woman's short skirt was deemed offensive. The problem is with the person who is offended, not the person doing the wearing.

So the problem is not that white people are wearing particular hairstyles but that they are not doing more to support black people who are discriminated against for these same hairstyles?

Not for me it isn't. I don't expect white people to support me although it's nice when some do.

I just think they're the same people who make off-key racist comments at work for instance then act wide-eyed and innocent in 'but it was only a joke' fashion.

Similar to parts of this thread.