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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lectured by stranger over plans for large family holiday

130 replies

Bluepolkadots42 · 12/07/2020 12:52

My MIL has just been given a terminal cancer diagnosis. Any treatment she has from now on is basically palliative- she has been shielding strictly up to this point but now she has had the terminal diagnosis she has been very keen for us to visit (in garden) and to see us and all her grandchildren.
I visited her yesterday and she said she would love for all of us to be able to go away together for a holiday for a week in the UK before she isn't here to go on one. She told me the area she had always wanted to visit and so I've been busy trying to find somewhere that can accommodate all of us in October half-term. In total we are 4 separate households of 8 adults and 4 children. I asked on an online forum for some recommendations of group accommodation and explained briefly the reason for trip- I said we were after preferably 2 cottages that are adjoined or large house with separate annexe. Lots of people were glad to give recommendations.
One person however commented with a load of stuff about guidelines and how they (presumably they own a holiday letting) weren't allowed to take a booking from more than one household etc and we needed to be careful as my MIL is shielding etc. I replied politely saying that must be hard for their business, but there does seem to be places able to accommodate multiple households still and ultimately now my MIL is thinking about quality of her life, doing thing she's going to enjoy and making memories for grandchildren etc. as she knows she doesn't have quantity of life left. This person then private messaged me further with more spiel about guidelines and shielding people etc.

AIBU to feel pissed off and like they should just mind their own fucking business quite frankly?
We are not unaware of Covid situation and neither is my MIL as she isn't an imbecile! All the kids will be back at school by then because apparently it's safe enough and at least 3 of us will be back at our place of work by then too, so why shouldn't we all stay together??

OP posts:
clarepetal · 12/07/2020 17:18

They can absolutely fuck right off. X

ProseccoBubbleFantasies · 12/07/2020 17:33

Another one here applauding Teacaketotty's excellent line

Bluepolkadots42 · 12/07/2020 19:35

Thanks everyone for your replies- apart from @Venue20 you're a wanker and you can fuck off. I hope you never find yourself in a situation such as we do- and, if you do, that people aren't as vile as you have been in some of your responses today.

I will speak to my DH this evening about moving it forward- it's a bit tricky as we are working around grandkid's school hols and also some teachers in family too, and MIL is currently having management chemo to try and buy her some more time which happens every 10 days so that makes a break in summer hols hard. If she continues with management chemo she will have up to 12 months apparently, but if she decides not to continue, which she might as it is making her feel horrendous for 7 days out of the 10 day cycle, then she has 6 months max. I want her to have something to look forward to, but also don't want to book something perhaps too far ahead that it makes her feel pressured to continue with chemo that's making her miserable. I want her to be able to make the decision to stop when it feels right for her and for her to have some enjoyment of her final few months. I appreciate those of you who have sent lovely comments :)

OP posts:
SciFiScream · 12/07/2020 19:41

For something likes this I would go regardless of the grandkids school holidays. Get what you can, when you can, as soon as you can. Fitting in with treatment, guidelines, etc.

Good luck.

SomewhereEast · 12/07/2020 19:41

Do it. I hope you all have a really special holiday together.

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