To not want to see DC after holiday abroad with exH

[WearyandBleary]

ExH is taking teen DC to Spain with his partner and her children in two weeks.

AIBU to want him to self isolate with them for at least a week afterwards? I feel sick at the thought of 200 people in a budget airplane there and back and the associated risks.

He said the two week isolation rule has changed and they are coming back to mine from the airport. I am so stressed!

AIBU to want them to self isolate after the flights?

We have to exercise caution but we absolutely must do whatever we can to get things back to as normal as we can as soon as we can.

Not caution that will lead to anyone actually not doing stuff, obviously.

You don't even know if the plane filters out viruses effectively. You don't know if there actually is temp checking and I'll bet you know it's rubbish way of ensuring no one on the flight is infectious. We don't even have an effective t and t system in place if (when) there's another outbreak. It's all crap. There's also no reassuring data that masks are particularly effective in the setting in question.

Hello second wave. We've rolled out the red carpet for you.

@WearyandBleary I understand your concern 100%. Would suggest that you make teen do a bit of self isolation at home when she gets back . I don't understand these people rushing off to mix with all these people on beaches here or there .

mzhz

Well, it's because I think you've got this straight from the DM or similar that I would like you to substantiate your comments. But you won't, so it's clear that you haven't got data you're proud of. There is no such data. But nice gas lighting, Hello reader.

We are currently in two weeks isolation because my DD is one of the first to get an elective surgery, because she had a serious accident last July and has been in extreme pain ever since. Her surgery was the first to be cancelled because of Covid, the theatres have been used for Covid patients ever since, and are only just freed up. At her pre op assessment the nurse who worked in ICU throughout told her that all the patents who died in ICU were under 50, many without underlying conditions, nobody over 50 made it into the ICU. There is still a risk she will contract Covid and we have to remain in isolation for another two weeks after.

My other DD has been taking the risk throughout to travel by public transport two hours each way to work in a testing facility, so we know the virus is still about, she is dealing with positive tests every day.

So we are being anxiety ridden wimps are we? It is like a slap in the face seeing people going about their normal lives, not wearing masks, not socially distancing and taking risks like getting on an aeroplane to Spain when we are doing our best to keep safe. YANBU OP. You have every right to keep yourself safe.

at spoon feeding scare mongering. Please, go educate yourself.

I do not believe a health care professional told you that @Emilyontmoor ! Nobody over the age of 50 made in into ICU..... nope don't believe that at all!

MzHz, you are totally missing a point. Do whatever you like. But you can't dismiss other people's worry. It's not scaremongering either. OP isn't stopping her dcs going abroad. Just that she would want her exdh to take the responsibility to make sure the worst case scenario happened.

They can’t really isolate at mine as we are in a small house with one bathroom. DH has en suites for all bedrooms so it’s much bigger and safer.

Part of me would just like to give him 2k and say don’t go as for him it’s all about not losing money. But he also knows I feel strongly about the risk which makes him want to upset me more because he is a bit of an arse.

Okay so pragmatically they will have isolate at yours if you want them to isolate.... they are teens they will cope!

*in case the worst case scenario happened.

I’m in a similar position OP with my ex taking my teenager to Spain for a week at the end of July. I’m not happy about it either and I wouldn’t choose to go abroad right now, mainly due to the risk of travelling through airports with all the different passengers from all parts of the world rather than the actual situation once they get to spain.

The way I see it is, even if my son falls ill when he returns I’d rather have him at home with me so I could care for him rather than in the care of my ex so he’ll be coming back to me. Those are my thoughts from someone in the same position as you, but without the additional job risk.

Actually I’d rather if they were ill, they were at DH’s. I’ve got no chance of containment here with one bathroom and small rooms. DH has a large house where this would be realistic.

To be honest, I would be expecting him to keep them with him for 5 extra days until it is clear they have not caught it.

Spending 2-3 hours crammed in a busy plane is now legal but not safer.

I also think he is a selfish idiot for taking the risk just for a bit of heat and sunshine.

If he’s deciding to take the risk of taking them abroad, then he should put up with kids in quarantine. Should be two weeks. Or, y’know, stay home for now.

corona You can believe it or not but it is what she told DD and it chimes with the newspaper reports that at the height of the spike London ICUs filled with equal numbers from every age group from the 20s up. She also told DD that she was no longer speaking to her brother because in spite of knowing what she had been through he had gone to the pub. It does feel as if the country is split in two between those who are blaze about the risks and those of us who want or need to keep ourselves safe.

Well my son @Emilyontmoor works in a south London hospital and that's not been his experience at all!

How unprofessional for her to discuss her brother, who is actually doing nothing wrong! I'd be bloody glad my judgemental sibling had decided not to talk to me.

Do as I want you to, because I say so.... nah thanks for that sis I'm grown up enough to make my own decisions.

Assuming you are not in Scotland? I think anyone travelling from Spain has to quarantine for 14 days thankfully.

@Emilyontmoor
That nurse was highly unprofessional. I work in the nhs and that is a true "little bit of truth with a whole lot of embellishment" and designed to peak your anxiety. Not at all helpful when your daughter needs admission.

However I guess this might have been said right at the beginning when staff were very very scared and there were lots of rumours flying round that she forgot who she was talking to due to fear. But I'm being generous.

We came back from Tenerife, in a plane crammed to the rafter when the pandemic was at its height
We are in an airport cheek by jowl with )3000 other tourists, not only were we fine
So were our friends who were evacuated on different days
They’ll be fine

Oh there was no sanitiser, no masks, no social distancing..nobody that I knew got them virus

@Emilyontmoor
Oh and I’ve never once felt ‘unsafe’

@Dowser But it isn't about whether you yourself are safe or not, whether you 'feel safe' or not. If you're young and not in an at risk group, there won't have been any danger for you. The issue is the spread of the virus. It's spread by people who have the virus without realising it. Some of these people never develop symptoms, others start showing symptoms at a later point.

However you look at it, thousands have died, and many more have been in intensive care. The people who passed the infection on to them won't know they have done so.

The rules are in place not just to protect you, but to protect vulnerable people you could come into contact with inadvertently, whilst travelling or at the supermarket.

There's far too much of this 'I'm all right, Jack' attitude.

Would suggest that you make teen do a bit of self isolation at home when she gets back

I don’t think it works like that! You can’t do a bit of self isolation!

I am regularly made to feel unsafe by people failing to adhere to social distancing, not even the 1m rule, in shops and supermarkets. By parents and children walking down our road from the large primary / secondary school and on to our high street and in our shops without any attempt to socially distance between multiple households. The school staff are tearing their hair out because they spend all day trying to enforce infection control measures and they get undermined beyond the school gate. By the PTA group on our green from a primary school that neighbours it, 30 of them not socially distancing and talking loudly and animatedly. I know teachers at the school who are extremely nervous about possible exposure to the virus so it seems particularly selfish. And absolutely unsafe by the large crowds who gather on that green to party, they have had to employ a parks supervisor whose job it is to quote him “to stop people pissing and shitting” . One mother who lives nearby was playing with her children in her courtyard garden when piss started to stream through the side gate. When she challenged four large men they said “just wash it down” and she was so intimidated that was what she did (I can send you a link to the zoom meeting where countless residents told similar stories). So yes I don’t feel safe when there are idiots like that around who seem intent on sharing their viruses.