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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think they think I'm gay?

126 replies

ohgoshreally · 10/07/2020 17:32

I am straight.

Apparently I have given off a gay vibe, but today when I asked someone out for coffee as a non committal event for the future, they said 'I'm sorry, I actually am straight.' This was a lady I met at an online networking event and we had so much in common and had great conversations.

Why would you jump to the conclusion that it's a date? I am really enthusiastic and engaging but don't feel this could be confused for flirting. I also look feminine enough, don't feel I look like a lesbian.

This is the first time this has happened but not the first time a professional women has acted weird when I invited them out for a coffee. I have picked up on another lady kept mentioning here husband after I asked her out for a coffee as if to make a point.

How can I ask another professional woman with similar intersets out for coffee without coming across as asking them on a date?

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 11/07/2020 14:00

@ohgoshreally

well really we will be having a great conversation and then I will say at the end ' I would love to grab a coffee with you when you are back in the city' or 'I would love to hear more about your company over a coffee'

I now just have no idea how to ask other women out for a coffee and am so aware they they may think I am asking them out

Yeh that sounds like a date. I wouldn’t use the I would love too part of the sentence. I think more like “ when your back in the city and shall we catch up for coffee and a natter” or “ I’m really interested to learn more about the company, would you be free some time to talk about it over a coffee”
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