Is being a short man equivalent to a women who is overweight?

[DreamChaser23]

i had this discussion with someone and I feel there is some truth in it.

Men who are overweight get away a lot more than women who are overweight I.e. relationships aren't as negatively affected compared to women.

And short women in height don't suffer as much as short men. Just look at how the media made people believe that most ideal men are meant to be tall over 6 feet. When in reality the average height of men is around 5 foot 9 IN the US and 5 foot 10 UK.

Being a short man and a women who is overweight does make it harder when it comes to relationships

I just couldn't go out with anyone who was shorter than me. I wouldn't even consider it. Its not something I consciously decided its just how I feel.

If I was a man I'd hate to be short. They get a rough time of it

I did once question why a petite woman was adamant that any man she dated had to be over six foot when she was barely five foot herself. A man who was merely ten inches taller, eleven even, wouldn't be enough? She responded quite forcefully that she liked what she liked, and I guess I can't argue against that; you can't reason people into finding someone attractive. Still, I thought it was a bit of a shame that she would dismiss a good, handsome, emotionally available, solvent and caring man because he was only ten inches taller than she was. I mean, at that height difference, how would you even notice an extra inch or two?

@wecandothis99

No, I really DONT get it! I dont understand why its apparently so wrong or "shallow" for women to have a height preference when men themselves have plenty of physical preferences which show up in online dating etc. Seems a huge bloody double standard to me.

@ShebaShimmyShake

Just curious- how would you feel if someone set you up on a blind date and you didn’t fancy them at all then told you “but it’s such a SHAME! They’re so lovely and kind and attractive! you really are missing out here” . This is the crux of the problem- you can’t control whom you like, no matter how bizarre or arbitrary your preferences are, you cannot make yourself be attracted to someone.

I think it might have something to do with the fact that we've been conditioned to see the ideal male as being 'tall, dark and handsome'. Hollywood backs this up, most romantic films have the heroine reaching up to kiss her beloved. I'm not criticising this, as I've always preferred tall men myself, and I've married a man who is 6'5. But I do think we're more influenced than we're aware of by the media.

It is annoying when people come on here to say how much they fancy short men, yes we get it but really you are the exception, MOST women prefer tall men, that’s a fact. So it doesn’t matter if you as an individual fancy short men, that’s great but it isn’t really relevant. And people need to not take it so personally, I am fat and I accept most men don’t fancy women that are, yes there will be men that do but again they are the exception.

Some men like chubby women.

What size is a chubby woman?

Maybe a better comparison is short men with very tall women. I can't imagine many 5'11" men actively seeking out a 6'2" woman (and I know a few)

There are extremely few women that height though. A woman that tall would be about 10 inches taller than the average (British) woman. A man 10 inches shorter than average would be about 5 foot, or even shorter. There are very few people whose height deviates so much from the average. Even famously tall women like Nicole Kidman or Charlize Theron are 'only' about 5 foot 10.

And the above two are only two among many tall women who are considered very attractive. So I really don't think height in a woman is the same as lack of height in a man. As I said previously, height is one of the few areas where women have it easier than men: short women are petite and cute, tall women are statuesque and striking.

On Reddit it's a continuous comparison from the men on there.

I think it might have something to do with the fact that we've been conditioned to see the ideal male as being 'tall, dark and handsome'. Hollywood backs this up, most romantic films have the heroine reaching up to kiss her beloved. I'm not criticising this, as I've always preferred tall men myself, and I've married a man who is 6'5. But I do think we're more influenced than we're aware of by the media.

Height - especially but not only in men - has always and everywhere been considered attractive though. It's not a Hollywood thing.

Urgh I once ventured onto reddit on a height topic. It was gross. Lots of men whining about why women wont date them because they arent tall, then in the very same breath, saying they'd only date women with huge breasts and making fun of flat chested women.

They couldn't see the irony....

This is the crux of the problem- you can’t control whom you like

That's an argument for both sides

Not all attraction is physical. Lots of relationships are formed outside of dating. Therefore you can't help it when you get sprung into liking someone who isn't your norm

My ex was 5’5” but genuinely one of the funniest, coolest, best men I’d ever met. His height didn’t bother him for a second. Shame he turned out to be gay in the end because a life with him would have been a life well lived. He was just a really excellent man.

Surely it's not equivalent, as overweight people can lose weight. You can't change your height. Perhaps very tall women are in the same dating category as very short men? Some people do find it desirable, but there's no changing it.

I only find tall men attractive. It never even occurred to me to that I should feel bad about it. The heart wants what the heart wants! 🤷🏼‍♀️

I just watched Borg vs McEnroe and hot dayum! Bjorn Borg was a tall, beautiful man, I had to go and lie down in a darkened room afterwards
fans self

@Linguistically

Interesting links. Heightism is a thing no doubt about it.

@tellmetocalmdown

I only find tall men attractive. It never even occurred to me to that I should feel bad about it. The heart wants what the heart wants! 🤷🏼‍♀️

I just watched Borg vs McEnroe and hot dayum! Bjorn Borg was a tall, beautiful man, I had to go and lie down in a darkened room afterwards
fans self

Bjorn Borg was 5 11. Not that tall at all by MN standards.

Personally I am more than happy to 'miss out' on having sex with men I find unattractive.

The last time I had a visceral attraction to someone it was an athlete on You Are What You Wear who was sitting down throughout and it did not occur to me to wonder how tall he was.

I have two lovely, extremely short male friends - 5'2 & 5'3 respectively and they do struggle to date. I think people write them off heightwise. Mr 5'2 I know through dance and he struggles to find partners because of it. I am also 5'3. Mr 5'3 and I have been asked if the other 5 were jealous we'd gone out without them for the day. Thanks mum . Weirdly, neither man has an issue with girls in heels- they're so short they accept everyone is taller than them anyway and I've never felt gargantuan wearing heels with them. They both just own it! I've not dated either because one is too young for my liking and the other we decided not to risk a friendship.

IME, it's the 5'5-5'8 chaps who are more touchy about height- if you put on heels etc. I find it momentarily surreal to suddenly dwarf or equal someone who is technically taller than me but I think I mostly pick up on their discomfort if they have it? It's only really an issue for me it they let it be. I wear heels. Deal with it.

I don't really have a type but if I look at exs & my DP, I've dated between 5'6- 6'1 and height on a dating profile isn't the most important thing I look for. I wouldn't rule anyone out but find either very short men or those over about 5'8 seem much more comfortable with their height than those in the middle. I personally don't go for extreme height in the main- it reminds me of being out with my dad as young child tbh, and tall men seem weirdly obsessed with picking me up- but if I liked someone enough, height wouldn't really feature. DP is 6 foot. I'd love him whatever height although it might be easier to take pics if we were a couple of inches closer together - either him shorter OR me taller! My heels usually help!

I think we can fight the societal programming and let your heart want a lot of different things.

We don't have to conform to the generic stereotype.

Although some people want to, and that's obviously fine.

Personally I am more than happy to 'miss out' on having sex with men I find unattractive

Right? Me too

What size is a chubby woman?

A larger size than a slim woman of the same height.

*I think we can fight the societal programming and let your heart want a lot of different things.

We don't have to conform to the generic stereotype.*

What does that even mean though?

I generally like tall, slim but well-built men. Should I get up one morning and say 'Today I'm going to fancy short fat men?' What would be the point in that?

Is it wrong to say that some men are more likely to be considered physically attractive than other men? Just as some women are more 'fanciable' than others? Should women stop fancying the tall, handsome likes of Chris Hemsworth just because it's 'generic'?

Even if you are aware of your social programming, you cannot just decide one day to fancy someone else! It doesnt work like that, if it did, noone would ever come out of a marriage after coming out as gay would they? You could just decide one day to overrule your sexual programming and fancy someone else or some other body type.

I think people really need to get over this fear that some people are just more attractive than others. Is it fair?- no. But since when was life ever bloody fair? I lost my mum at an early age, that wasnt fair either but I just had to deal with it. There really is someone for everyone and ok, it might be that you arent top of the hot men list but guess what? most women arent supermodels either and we all manage to cope somehow.