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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Built a cabin and neighbour not happy.

202 replies

ReginaaPhalange · 09/07/2020 16:39

This week, we built a cabin in our back garden and we have complied 100% with guidance which states the highest point must not exceed 2.5m in height. Our cabin is 2.3m at its highest point. We have not put it up against the fence, we have left a good amount of room to fit an adult down the back and around the sides for painting, maintenance and pick up any weeds etc.

On Tuesday, my DH was doing the roof and his bottle of water went into the neighbours garden. This neighbour lives at the back of us, so I went round and politely advised her of what had happened and asked if I could go into her garden and collect the bottle of water and any off cuts that may have come away too. She allowed me to do this and there was literally the water and one small piece of wood, so I took that away and said to my DH who was still on the roof to be careful and he even shouted over to the neighbour to apologise.

When I went to leave, she came out her back door (we were keeping 2m apart) and started saying she's not happy about the cabin, said it's in her view when she looks out of her kitchen window and told me she had spoken to her children (they're away from home with kids etc so probably similar ages with me (30's) )and her kids were apparently not happy either Incase it blocks out the sun. I can confirm when I went round, this was not the case, the sun was beating down and her garden was not obstructed.

Further more, the neighbour said she was not happy that we had not told her of our plans and that we should have told her. I did tell my husband prior to delivery of the cabin that we should maybe tell her, but he said as it was within the guidance of height etc, it did not require planning permission and he didn't need to advise her. In hindsight I wish I maybe did give her a heads up.

Yesterday when DH was tidying up the edging of the room, he overheard the neighbour moaning on the phone saying it's such an eye sore, how it was just there when she came home and how disappointed it is. Now, I fully understand if she had beautiful views from her kitchen window, but she doesn't. Her window looks out to her back garden, fence then the back of our house.

Today, her friend walked around to our house, stood at the end of my driveway, looked into the garden, shook her head and walked away. I didn't say anything as I had just come out the shower and still had my towel around me (I was looking out for the yodel courier when I noticed it).

Further more, 3 years ago, when me and DH were at work, she had her BIL hack away the base of our fence so she would double panel the fence. The fence is owned by us and on our boundary and she acknowledged that, but she never told us she was going to do it. We just found out when we came home from work to find half the base of our fence gone!! We never kicked off, we actually went to her door to ask her if we could panel OUR fence up the back. She was fine and so were we. We have never spoken to her since as you can't see her in the garden as fence is double panelled, we live on different streets so we both have different entrance/ exit routes and our paths have never crossed so it's not a case of avoiding her.

Earlier when I was upstairs I noticed her at the fence (I was talking out to husband asking what he wanted for lunch). She was snooping around and I can only think she was maybe looking for off cuts which fell into her garden, but DH said there's definitely nothing there as he peeked over and checked.

I'm not sure if I should say something to her or just leave it and just hope she leaves it alone, but our neighbours next door who we get on brilliantly with have said they have had problems with her snooping before, peeking over the fence and asking when they had a baby as she saw baby clothes on the line (they have never spoken to her before)

3 years ago btw, she told us her name was (let's say) Barbara (not her real name), but when I was speaking to her on Tuesday, I said "it's Barbara isn't it?" And she said "no, it's Mavis(changed)." I found that a bit off too.... even DH had said to me no, she definitely told us her name was Barbara(charged).

Odd... anyway, I digress. Should I leave it or approach her about it, maybe give her flowers as an apology for not telling her about the cabin?

Cabin will be used as a wee gym for me (treadmill and weights) and she knows this. She did say "thank god it's not a hot tub"

OP posts:
Amijustagrump · 09/07/2020 16:47

My MIL had a similar issue with her neighbours cabin, in the end she blocked their house sale for 4 months, got an MP involved at spent 10k of her own money to get it removed as it was damaging her mental health.

The cabin is still there! I would just ignore her, we told MIL time and time again its nothing to do with her and wasn't impacting her life but she didn't listen. She only stopped because she ran out of money

AryaStarkWolf · 09/07/2020 16:49

Leave it, you haven't broken any planning laws

myohmywhatawonderfulday · 09/07/2020 16:50

Ummmm it doesn't need planning permission.

It's in your garden. She can like it or not like it. I would just get on with using it.

My experience of people like Barbara-Mavis is to avoid them. Nothing you will ever do will be good enough, they will always be 'put out' and so I wouldn't bother with flowers.

But that's me - my husband is a lot more accommodating to difficult people.

Mmmmycorona · 09/07/2020 16:51

Leave her to it. As long as you’ve met all guidance (which you say you have) then she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
I don’t particularly like the look of my neighbours shed, which peeps over our fence but I can’t get worked up about it.

TheQueef · 09/07/2020 16:53

Avoid like the rona.
She will sink her teeth in and royally fuck you about.
As little fuel as possible, don't engage.

AryaStarkWolf · 09/07/2020 16:53

@myohmywhatawonderfulday

Ummmm it doesn't need planning permission.

It's in your garden. She can like it or not like it. I would just get on with using it.

My experience of people like Barbara-Mavis is to avoid them. Nothing you will ever do will be good enough, they will always be 'put out' and so I wouldn't bother with flowers.

But that's me - my husband is a lot more accommodating to difficult people.

Yeah buying her flowers or whatever will only make her think she's in the right as well. Just ignore her is the best approach imo as well
ReginaaPhalange · 09/07/2020 16:54

Thank you all for taking the time to read and reply - it is much appreciated.

We will ignore her about it then :)

OP posts:
MashedPotatoBrainz · 09/07/2020 16:54

Ignore her. I honestly can't imagine being the slightest bit bothered about my neighbours sticking up a fancy shed in their garden, unless I was jealous and didn't have anything else to occupy my mind.

SisterAgatha · 09/07/2020 16:54

Oh dear. I’m building a pergola right now and worried that I’ll be in the same situation but if we’ve met guidance and it’s made of wood, it surely doesn’t need permission? Our pergola is the same height as a tall fence.

jb23newmum · 09/07/2020 16:54

We have a neighbour like this - objected to our extension (no grounds), moaned when we had to cut down a tree in OUR garden to make way for the extension. Got into an argument with our builders (they hadn’t done anything wrong)
Moaned about the position of the trampoline and the kids on the trampoline (the kids are young so have no inclination to look over their fence ).
Moaned about another neighbour cutting down a very big tree in their garden. The list goes on. I have learnt to not get annoyed and ignore them . Best thing to do . Ok might have been a good idea to let her know before it went up but she would have just moaned anyway- some people you just can’t please !!

IntheM00dfor7 · 09/07/2020 16:56

You haven't done anything wrong
Enjoy your cabin

Some people don't like change

I expect in the future more work from home cabins will be built

Have built one during lockdown too

Ishihtzuknot · 09/07/2020 16:56

She sounds nosey, it shouldn’t affect her what is in your garden. The view isn’t for her eyes if she’s surrounded by other gardens. It doesn’t sound much different to a shed and I’m sure the majority of the gardens have one. I have a neighbour like her so I completely understand, best thing is to just ignore her and carry on your business, interacting seems to give them a thrill and provokes them to moan more.

loveyouradvice · 09/07/2020 16:58

Do you know I'm the opposite and always try to create good relationships with neighbours even the unreasonable ones..... I think a note and flowers or chocs is a lovely idea.... Important thing is not to take responsibility.... perhaps say sorry that she has been upset by it... that you had been very careful to choose one that was within all the planning laws but wish you had mentioned it before so it hadn't come as a shock to her.... Just be totally honest. Doesn't do any harm - and may do some good. After all your going to be neighbours for a while

queenrollo · 09/07/2020 16:58

Has it obstructed her view of the back of your house to the extent that she now can't be nosy? Because it sounds to me like her primary concern is not being able to see into your property as freely as before.

I would ignore her to be honest. People like this are never appeased. Even if you took it down she would find something else to complain about.

billy1966 · 09/07/2020 17:00

Completely ignore.

mamansnet · 09/07/2020 17:02

Ignore her, she's batshit. Definitely no flowers! Perhaps paint a middle finger on the part of the cabin roof that is visible from her house, but otherwise do nothing!!

cstaff · 09/07/2020 17:02

I would be giving her a wide berth from here on in. As for flowers - not a chance in hell.

strawberry2017 · 09/07/2020 17:03

In all honesty it's no different from putting up a shed and get seeing the roof line of that. So I don't think you have done anything wrong.
Ignore her.

romeolovedjulliet · 09/07/2020 17:04

@MashedPotatoBrainz

Ignore her. I honestly can't imagine being the slightest bit bothered about my neighbours sticking up a fancy shed in their garden, unless I was jealous and didn't have anything else to occupy my mind.
bang on the money.
romeolovedjulliet · 09/07/2020 17:08

we have a beach hut in our garden, decked out with deck chairs and nautical themed, curtains etc had no intention of asking the neighbours about it and it's within permission heights etc. anyone complained they would have nicely been told to jog along

fuzzyduck1 · 09/07/2020 17:09

Some people just can’t help themselves. I had an issue like yours but my cabin was a shade over 2.5m and the planning department turned up. I ended up cutting 1.5 meters off each end (it was a BIG cabin). Planning we’re happy so all ended well but never forgave them.

DisobedientHamster · 09/07/2020 17:09

Ignore.

namechange8765422 · 09/07/2020 17:10

I am a super super nice person and it really doesn't get you anywhere. I am glad you are taking PP's advice to just leave it, because I was going to say the same, from bitter experience.

Once people like that have decided what they think of you/the situation, explaining or making up for lost ground etc doesn't work. It's her shit - let her deal with it.

I made a couple of people angry last week. I took my own advice and let them deal with their own shit. I just brazened it out, carried on being polite but very minimal contact, very minimal fuss, minimal thought. And it worked a treat.

Enjoy your cabin :)Wine Brew Glitterball

GrannyBags · 09/07/2020 17:10

Ignore her. A woman in our street is causing trouble at the moment because our opposite neighbours are having a kitchen extension and the builders’ vans are causing an eyesore. Some people just like having something to moan about.

Covidiot · 09/07/2020 17:12

I thought any garden buildings had to be 2m away from the boundary. You said you’ve left space “for an adult” which doesn’t sound like 2m.

I’m no expert (and would love to have a garden building but would be difficult if the 2m rule correct so I’d actually be very happy to be wrong!)

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