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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Built a cabin and neighbour not happy.

202 replies

ReginaaPhalange · 09/07/2020 16:39

This week, we built a cabin in our back garden and we have complied 100% with guidance which states the highest point must not exceed 2.5m in height. Our cabin is 2.3m at its highest point. We have not put it up against the fence, we have left a good amount of room to fit an adult down the back and around the sides for painting, maintenance and pick up any weeds etc.

On Tuesday, my DH was doing the roof and his bottle of water went into the neighbours garden. This neighbour lives at the back of us, so I went round and politely advised her of what had happened and asked if I could go into her garden and collect the bottle of water and any off cuts that may have come away too. She allowed me to do this and there was literally the water and one small piece of wood, so I took that away and said to my DH who was still on the roof to be careful and he even shouted over to the neighbour to apologise.

When I went to leave, she came out her back door (we were keeping 2m apart) and started saying she's not happy about the cabin, said it's in her view when she looks out of her kitchen window and told me she had spoken to her children (they're away from home with kids etc so probably similar ages with me (30's) )and her kids were apparently not happy either Incase it blocks out the sun. I can confirm when I went round, this was not the case, the sun was beating down and her garden was not obstructed.

Further more, the neighbour said she was not happy that we had not told her of our plans and that we should have told her. I did tell my husband prior to delivery of the cabin that we should maybe tell her, but he said as it was within the guidance of height etc, it did not require planning permission and he didn't need to advise her. In hindsight I wish I maybe did give her a heads up.

Yesterday when DH was tidying up the edging of the room, he overheard the neighbour moaning on the phone saying it's such an eye sore, how it was just there when she came home and how disappointed it is. Now, I fully understand if she had beautiful views from her kitchen window, but she doesn't. Her window looks out to her back garden, fence then the back of our house.

Today, her friend walked around to our house, stood at the end of my driveway, looked into the garden, shook her head and walked away. I didn't say anything as I had just come out the shower and still had my towel around me (I was looking out for the yodel courier when I noticed it).

Further more, 3 years ago, when me and DH were at work, she had her BIL hack away the base of our fence so she would double panel the fence. The fence is owned by us and on our boundary and she acknowledged that, but she never told us she was going to do it. We just found out when we came home from work to find half the base of our fence gone!! We never kicked off, we actually went to her door to ask her if we could panel OUR fence up the back. She was fine and so were we. We have never spoken to her since as you can't see her in the garden as fence is double panelled, we live on different streets so we both have different entrance/ exit routes and our paths have never crossed so it's not a case of avoiding her.

Earlier when I was upstairs I noticed her at the fence (I was talking out to husband asking what he wanted for lunch). She was snooping around and I can only think she was maybe looking for off cuts which fell into her garden, but DH said there's definitely nothing there as he peeked over and checked.

I'm not sure if I should say something to her or just leave it and just hope she leaves it alone, but our neighbours next door who we get on brilliantly with have said they have had problems with her snooping before, peeking over the fence and asking when they had a baby as she saw baby clothes on the line (they have never spoken to her before)

3 years ago btw, she told us her name was (let's say) Barbara (not her real name), but when I was speaking to her on Tuesday, I said "it's Barbara isn't it?" And she said "no, it's Mavis(changed)." I found that a bit off too.... even DH had said to me no, she definitely told us her name was Barbara(charged).

Odd... anyway, I digress. Should I leave it or approach her about it, maybe give her flowers as an apology for not telling her about the cabin?

Cabin will be used as a wee gym for me (treadmill and weights) and she knows this. She did say "thank god it's not a hot tub"

OP posts:
BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/07/2020 17:34

Get a hot tub

And a trampoline, even if you haven't got children.

BadBear · 09/07/2020 17:35

If she's that bothered about it she should move to a rural area and buy land around her house so she's away from neighbours. Although I don't particularly like change, I know that things like that are part and parcel of living near other people (obviously until I can afford my own super isolated mansion). I think you're totally within your rights here.

Yes it would have been nice to let her know but then again what would you have done if she disagreed with what you were doing. Keep being polite and don't engage in any pettiness. Enjoy your cabin!

Jeremyironsnothing · 09/07/2020 17:35

@queenrollo

Has it obstructed her view of the back of your house to the extent that she now can't be nosy? Because it sounds to me like her primary concern is not being able to see into your property as freely as before.

I would ignore her to be honest. People like this are never appeased. Even if you took it down she would find something else to complain about.

This is the real reason i think. That's why you caught her snooping by the fence the other day.
BMW6 · 09/07/2020 17:36

Ignore any whinging and muttering etc, wave and smile whenever you see her (or her chum having a nose) AND DO NOT SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING CONCILIATORY

You have done nothing wrong at all. She just liked to see into your garden.

BeanbagMcTavish · 09/07/2020 17:36

Don't send flowers... she will see it as an admission of guilt.

She's just one of those batshit people who thinks they own everything that can be seen from their property. Best to ignore unless she starts chopping at your fence again (wtf, by the way). Sooner or later she will move on to a new whinge when someone parks their car perfectly legally on her street or something.

krustykittens · 09/07/2020 17:37

Ignore her and definitely no flowers. You don't have to give your neighbour a heads up about anything you do in your garden. If you apologise, she will think she is in the right and things will only get worse. Some people just enjoy the drama of a row. Grey rock her.

mumwon · 09/07/2020 17:37

@Covidiot most companies (all?) who sell larger garden buildings will have info on their site telling you the rules

notangelinajolie · 09/07/2020 17:37

Ignore her. It's her own fault for not having any shrubs or trees. If she doesn't like looking at your cabin she just needs to put some in.

AuntImmortelle · 09/07/2020 17:38

@Covidiot

I thought any garden buildings had to be 2m away from the boundary. You said you’ve left space “for an adult” which doesn’t sound like 2m.

I’m no expert (and would love to have a garden building but would be difficult if the 2m rule correct so I’d actually be very happy to be wrong!)

There is no planning regulation that states 2m from boundary. Only no higher than 2.5m
Sunnydayshereatlast · 09/07/2020 17:39

Hang bunting all round the edges!!

LastFirstEverything · 09/07/2020 17:39

Hi OP. We built a large-ish cabin in our back garden, and as our neighbour can be a little fussy about various things, thought we she tell her first (not ask, but just let her know nicely that it would be happening iyswim). She pleasantly surprised us by encouraging us to go ahead but also asked if we could make the fence higher between us to block it out of her view, this we were very happy to do!

Basically though, we kind of expected obstruction from her (she is very nice but demanding over issues like trees/plants that are near her garden, and don't actually overhang, so thought she'd be unhappy), but the opposite was true.

I'd suggest leaving it. You absolutely haven't done anything wrong and it's not making her life more difficult- she is making her own life difficult!

Sunnydayshereatlast · 09/07/2020 17:40

Order hot tub brochures but accidentally put your name and her door number on... Let her sweat..

lowlandLucky · 09/07/2020 17:42

Smile and wave

huuunderickssss · 09/07/2020 17:42

Round here we all have them , ours sides up to our neighbours fence but there is enough room for maintenance etc . I think it's better than having outdoor eating / sitting areas next to each other so I don't care . And frankly I don't care if neighbours don't like it . It's hardly much taller than the fence so it makes no difference whatsoever!!

MatildaTheCat · 09/07/2020 17:42

Actually I will go slightly against the grain here and say that whilst you are correct and have done nothing wrong it would have been neighbourly to inform her of your plans. She sounds very set in her ways so a heads up would have been polite.

We have a summer house at the end of our garden and the set up sounds similar. I actually had the cheek to ask our neighbours if we could take down an ugly tree on their side at the same time. They agreed and it was all very friendly.

Your neighbour will get used to the cabin but your probably won’t have a civil relationship going forward which is a pity IMO. It’s usually a good thing to have decent relationships with those living close by (although some instances recorded on here make it plain that’s not always possible).

And asking someone if they’ve had a baby because they have plainly visible baby clothes on their line is scarcely nosy. Just friendly in my book.

wagtailred · 09/07/2020 17:42

Ignore her - if you complied with planning its fine.. Unfortunatley when we make improvements to our properties we have to accept that they may impact negatively on other people and they dont have to be happy about it. Thats why there are laws on height etc to mean its just annoying to them and isnt really detrimental. She will get over it.

IntheM00dfor7 · 09/07/2020 17:43

I lived in a property that had a long view
My neighbours garden crossed the long view (odd shaped gardens)
They built a shed, without asking me
Did I complain, no, because it was on their land

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 09/07/2020 17:45

IGNORE her. I dont know why people always suggest giving neighbours a "heads up" first. What does this achieve? if they dont care, its pointless and if they say "no, I dont want you to do it" then you go ahead, its just going to make things even worse and make it look like you did it to spite them anyway!

What you have done is perfectly legal and above board and she has no right to complain. Of course, she can not like it, but thats what comes with living next door to someone- you arent going to love every little thing they do, doesnt mean you have the right to stop them doing it if they havent broken any laws. I cant stand people like her- they should go out and live in the sticks if they want full control over their boundaries. Otherwise, they can STFU.

sotiredofthislonelylife · 09/07/2020 17:48

@romeolovedjulliet

we have a beach hut in our garden, decked out with deck chairs and nautical themed, curtains etc had no intention of asking the neighbours about it and it's within permission heights etc. anyone complained they would have nicely been told to jog along
Me too! I love it. It’s been great to have ‘somewhere else to go to’ during lockdown. I can pretend I am on holiday --takes a bit of imagination—
PanamaPattie · 09/07/2020 17:48

I also agree - get a hot tub, trampoline, swing set, slide and plunge pool.

sotiredofthislonelylife · 09/07/2020 17:49

Why does my strike through fail???

Balibabe1 · 09/07/2020 17:51

I would have a very “ loud chat” with your DH when Barbara/Mavis just happens to be within earshot regarding booking the security guy to install the CCTV overlooking all angles of said cabin 😉.

Just incase Rona has sent her rocketing!

BeanbagMcTavish · 09/07/2020 17:52

Get one of those mooning gnomes with its pants down, and put it on the roof of your cabin with its arse facing her garden.

FartingInTheFence · 09/07/2020 17:54

Send her a box of goat shit if you are planning to send something 🤣

Oh and tell her to go and get fucked. She sounds like a miserable cunt. So treat her like one.

MsTSwift · 09/07/2020 17:55

Ignore. Like it or lump it you’re within the rules. Reverse the situation if they had done the same to you would you have made a right old fuss I bet not!

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