To think this is not a holiday for me!

[PrettyTricky]

We are lucky enough to have a small second home in the UK that we are now able to travel to. Emphasis on small, it’s tiny.

Our holiday abroad was cancelled and DH is touting this as a lovely holiday, all the while I’m thinking - it’s not a bloody holiday for me, it’s just same shit different (and much more cramped) place.

I’ve spent ages packing for us all as we’re off for nearly a month - DH is very busy at work so he’s not been much help and is rather stressed. While we are away he will be working remotely for half the ‘holiday’, so I’m going to have to clean the house and make up the beds when we arrive, sort the shopping - have already got a click and collect offered, do all the cooking and laundry. Everything I want to get away from on a holiday! I might as well be at home - at least I’d have more space and home comforts.

We don’t even have a tv there! We’re not going to go out to eat as we normally do - I’m not really comfortable to go to restaurants yet, and I’m sitting here almost dreading it.

I fear it’s going to be the exact opposite of a relaxing break and I may be climbing the walls. At least we will have some nice walks and different scenery I suppose.

AIBU to think that this isn’t really a holiday at all?

@ProfessionalWeirdo HILARIOUS

@30daysoflight You’re being ridiculous.

Luckily I haven't suffered from any of those things but know many who have.
Having second home problems is a pathetic issue and you should be ashamed.
Please educate yourself on what happens outside your privileged life and be thankful.
Hate me if you want but it's not healthy.

I assume you're addressing me in your last comment @30daysoflight? I don't know if you're deliberately misunderstanding or if you struggle with comprehension but it's not me who has a second home and I don't live in 'a bubble'. I'm very well educated thank you and the things I mentioned above did happen to me and I have nothing to be ashamed of.
If somebody is forcing you to read 'disgusting' threads on mumsnet against your will then you should probably get some help for that. Otherwise, feel free to jog the fuck on.

I think you might as well treat it as an adventure and go. Why not? I always hate packing and preparing for trips, but once I go, I enjoy them much more than I think I will. Other posters have suggested ways of making things easier. Take advantage of all of them. Go on adventures. Do lazy things. Enjoy a different setting. Lower your standards. Don't make beds, bring sleeping bags. Just make life as easy as possible.

I agree with the send him with the kids and you stay at home for four blissful weeks only looking after yourself.

The key thing here is to agree some ground rules.

You might not feel comfortable in restaurants but there are takeaways, agree that you have at least a couple a week. Do a Cook ready meals order to the house so you have nice stuff you can bung in the oven.

Work out what you're going to actually do whilst there so you have stuff to look forward to, can't you still see family in a socially distanced way?

And check the weather forecast, you can see two weeks ahead and it is vaguely accurate. If it looks shit then go later than planned, leave earlier.

My response to this would be ... fine darling you go down with the kids the first two weeks and if you need to work the second two weeks I'll come down and take over then... And I'd buy some books, wine and bubble bath and look forward to a two week staycation while they are away !

Is he mad? More to the point, are you mad for not telling him to fuck right off with that nonsense the second he suggested it?!

He wants you to do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare you’re doing now, in a fraction of the space, with none of the usual conveniences you have and nothing to occupy your DC, other than the occasional nice walk. What happens if it rains? Are you supposed to keep fed up and bored children occupied and quiet while he’s working?

The only way to avoid having an utterly miserable time is to insist that you don’t go until he’s finished his work and is free to do 50% of everything. You might be feeling like you need to do more because of your current employment situation but that does not mean that you become responsible for everything and everyone.

I came on to say the same as @lookatmememe. A month would be too long for me, and it's no holiday for you. He does the childcare and cooking shit for two weeks, then you come in and do the childcare while he works. Even if you only do a week alone, that is a proper proper holiday for you. I would tidy my whole house, clear any trace of children on day one and pretend to be a grown up for a week major fantasy

Luckily I haven't suffered from any of those things but know many who have. Having second home problems is a pathetic issue and you should be ashamed. Please educate yourself on what happens outside your privileged life and be thankful. Hate me if you want but it's not healthy.

I’m not sure that a general chat forum is the right place for you. You don’t seem to understand how they work. Firstly, nobody appointed you Mumsnet’s official Social Justice Warrior. All of us who have gone through the aforementioned crap and much more don’t need a spokesperson (who admits they have no clue themselves, other than watching it happen to people they know) trying to make others feel guilty because their lives have taken different paths. She’s got fuck all to feel ashamed about. It doesn’t matter if she’s got millions in the bank and a private jet parked up on her drive. She’s still allowed to have problems.

Secondly, ‘educate yourself’? Seriously? Give over. You sound ridiculous.

Lastly, nobody hates you. Along with everyone else on this forum, you’re largely irrelevant. There’s no hate. Nobody here has that much of an impact on anyone.

I think you need to have a seriouse discussion with your husband before you go, listing out your expectationse etc. be firm when you go and pull him up when you feell its not working. My inlaws have a holiday home near a beach, and were luckily we can use it a couple time of a year. However we do share it with his siblings and their standards of cleaning are not the same as mine. :( Agreement is now a cleaner is paid for by all of us, there are a couple of sets of sheets there. So wehn teh last person leaves they change the sheets and bring home the old sheets to wash and iron. Its in a lovely town with a chipper right across the road, two cafes a few resytauaranutns and pubs plus a hotel, so plenty of opetions to eat out. Like other people say i also bring ready meals and easy to cook items, or salads brad and cold meats. We have a TV with sky and netflix. I actually do relax when down there and refuse to let the mess etc annoy me. I would go however it is up to you to make the necessary changes to make it enjoyable for you .

I’m so sorry my grammar is not perfect I didn’t realise I was sitting an exam, you may be perfect at writing not all of us are, oh and yes while you were marking my grammar my husband was having a scan for his symptoms which have got worse, so thanks for that.

That must be really hard for you OP. What a dilemma. Yes I am being sarcastic.

I would go. yes it might not be a full 'holiday', but atm a good change of scenery might be good for you all.

Get dh to help pack, don't go overboard cleaning on arrival (just basics and dh can help he isnt working 24/7). Fill click and collect with easy pre done meals, bbq ingredients, and ice creams.

Why not go for only the time he’s actually on holiday? It’s pointless going (no TV?! I’d die!) for 2 weeks just to do the same as tho you were at home. I would be finding nice pubs with outdoor areas to go to.

@PrettyTricky

Not asking for an exact location but is it at least somewhere close to walks / forests / sea / beaches / NT / something???

Its not just an apartment bought in the middle of Milton Keynes to stay in when you visit his family?

• sorry people of Milton Keynes.

Its not just an apartment bought in the middle of Milton Keynes to stay in when you visit his family?

At least there is stuff to do in and around MK, and all the restaurants are open!

I will gladly go to your second home and even do more than my share to get any kind of a holiday this year. Where is it based?

How are you OP? Your post stuck with me.

ProfessionalWierdo

Your post is so funny. It really made me laugh. Snort.

"When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three'metre exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her "night off", and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women."