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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is not a holiday for me!

146 replies

PrettyTricky · 09/07/2020 15:11

We are lucky enough to have a small second home in the UK that we are now able to travel to. Emphasis on small, it’s tiny.

Our holiday abroad was cancelled and DH is touting this as a lovely holiday, all the while I’m thinking - it’s not a bloody holiday for me, it’s just same shit different (and much more cramped) place.

I’ve spent ages packing for us all as we’re off for nearly a month - DH is very busy at work so he’s not been much help and is rather stressed. While we are away he will be working remotely for half the ‘holiday’, so I’m going to have to clean the house and make up the beds when we arrive, sort the shopping - have already got a click and collect offered, do all the cooking and laundry. Everything I want to get away from on a holiday! I might as well be at home - at least I’d have more space and home comforts.

We don’t even have a tv there! We’re not going to go out to eat as we normally do - I’m not really comfortable to go to restaurants yet, and I’m sitting here almost dreading it.

I fear it’s going to be the exact opposite of a relaxing break and I may be climbing the walls. At least we will have some nice walks and different scenery I suppose.

AIBU to think that this isn’t really a holiday at all?

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 09/07/2020 15:36

I don’t self cater for all the reasons you’ve stated - same crap in a different place . I’d rather stay at home .

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/07/2020 15:38

Take away food, eat at outside tables where you can. If you're stuck going then make the best of it. I hope you get some good weather.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 09/07/2020 15:41

But that's your holiday home. Why do you keep it if you don't want to use it for going on holiday. Surely he can do stuff when he's not working? He won't be working all day and night?

zingally · 09/07/2020 15:44

Why are you even going?! Sounds awful!

Put your foot down OP and don't go. Or just go for a time DH doesn't have to work. For your life to be substantially harder, just so he can work from a different location, sounds very unfair.

Not to mention, your DCs are going to be bored out of their minds!

TokyoSushi · 09/07/2020 15:44

Well surely the first thing is to get a TV!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 09/07/2020 15:47

Either make changes so that you can enjoy yourself : get a tv ( take yours with you? ) , be open to meals out / takeaways/ drinks etc , or stay home ?
Being cooped up working in a tiny space with no entertainment and no desire to eat out sounds like torture.

ivykaty44 · 09/07/2020 15:49

you allow this to happen

sit back and let him pack
shop
cook

and have the holiday he's raving about

Xiaoxiong · 09/07/2020 15:50

I always find multiple opportunities to post this gem every summer:

www.theonion.com/mom-spends-beach-vacation-assuming-all-household-duties-1819575406

NAGS HEAD, NC—Continuously doing laundry, cooking, or vacuuming in her family’s rented beach cottage this week, area mom Catherine Yardley has spent a much-needed vacation performing all her usual household chores while in closer proximity to the ocean, sources confirmed. “Isn’t it nice to just get away for a while and relax by the water?” Yardley said as she wiped down the kitchen counter and then took out the garbage, tasks she would normally perform at a distance of 200 miles from the beach instead of 50 feet. “I just love that I can be scrubbing the bathroom, look out the window, and see the tide coming in. We should do this every year!” At press time, Yardley was reportedly busy preparing a meal identical to what she would have made back home, except that she planned to serve it on paper plates.

icelollycraving · 09/07/2020 15:50

Get a tv! Do you have Netflix at least? How old are the dc?

converseandjeans · 09/07/2020 15:56

YANBU but I think it's unusual times this year.

Get a TV set up
Take switch or wii with you
Get take outs in the evening
Buy in nice treats from M&S or Waitrose for lunches

Pretty sure kids can visit family at home now?

Georgielovespie · 09/07/2020 15:56

I think it was Claire on Modern Family who referred to a holiday as a business trip. No break from the usual responsibilities.

gutentag1 · 09/07/2020 15:58

How old are the kids? Tbh I'd expect to be taking on all the home jobs if my partner was working long hours and I wasn't working.

NewKittyMeow · 09/07/2020 16:00

@AryaStarkWolf

I refuse to do self catering that is not a holiday.

I don't mind it but then my husband isn't a useless asshole who thinks I'm the hired help so........

Same. DH does half of all the chores wherever we are. OP, I'd tell your DH that you only want to go for the 2 weeks he doesn't need to work.
HowFastIsTooFast · 09/07/2020 16:01

@Holothane

I refuse to do self catering that is not a holiday.
I hear ya Holothane! Each to their own but cooking and washing up on holiday is definitely not for me.

OP this doesn't sound like a holiday at all. Can you try and make the best of it? Is the countryside nice around there can you get out for walks and see something new, take picnics or a portable bbq? If the weather's ok and there are restaurants or pubs nearby with outside seating could you make your peace with having a few meals out? Sitting outside in public doesn't feel nearly as odd as being cooped up inside. Will at least being near family bring some joy to it?

HowFastIsTooFast · 09/07/2020 16:03

Also, is there WiFi there or can you download some films and TV shows to a laptop/external drive before you go, so at least if you've got some rainy afternoons you don't always have to play a board game or read a book.

blue25 · 09/07/2020 16:04

Doesn’t sound like a holiday at all. Who wants to clean, cook and wash up on a holiday. I think either you all share the chores or you don’t go.

user1494055864 · 09/07/2020 16:05

Sounds like hell.

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 09/07/2020 16:05

@DonLewis

Fuck that for a game of soldiers!
Yep. Send him and the kids.
SHICKING21 · 09/07/2020 16:06

Sod having no telly.

RedToothBrush · 09/07/2020 16:07

Just sell it.

Save the money and stay in a hotel.

Totally pointless having it, plus if its empty the rest of the time the property isn't benefiting anyone else at all.

I can understand holiday homes if they are at least used but I really struggle with them being constantly empty and the owners hating the experience of being there anyway!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 09/07/2020 16:08

Your mistake was in agreeing to go.

However, this mistake can easily be rectified by saying that you've changed your mind and now you're not going.

ivfdreaming · 09/07/2020 16:09

YABU

Most people would give anything to be able to get away from staring at the same 4 walls day in day out. So you have to make the beds, clean and do the shopping 🤷‍♀️

Sorry don't really have much sympathy. And even less sympathy if it's somewhere coastal or rural or classed as a U.K. staycation location.

CuppaZa · 09/07/2020 16:10

No, that’s not a holiday. That’s hell. Your DH is very short-sighted if he thinks this is going to be a nice break for the whole family

Yankathebear · 09/07/2020 16:12

Why are you going?

Belindabelle · 09/07/2020 16:13

I went to my second home on Friday.

The weekend was hard work. Garden took days to sort out after the months of neglect. Windows were a riot. I had to restock the fridge and cupboards with everything from salt and pepper to Gin and tonic. Beds all had to be made up and the place seemed really dusty and stale.

I never really consider going there as a holiday. It’s just our other home in a different location. Same shit different bucket as someone so eloquently put it.

This year I am really grateful for a change of scene. After months of being cooped up it is fantastic to be in a different area.

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