To be annoyed that ex won't have child while on furlough

[Systemrelevant]

11yo DS hasn’t seen his dad since lockdown began in March. Exh said it was to reduce any risk of spread (we are all low risk and healthy). Then he was furloughed not long after but just kept saying “no, I’m still on furlough” when I asked if he was having him this weekend.

We are now in July and I’ve done all the home schooling with zero input while working - I asked him to buy printer ink and he “couldn’t afford”. I even asked him to come sign a form and drop it into son’s new school for me as I'm working full time and home schooling so couldn't work out when to do it, his reply “I’m sure you’ll work something out.”

I’ve just messaged him to ask if he’s still having DS for his holiday in August, whether they actually go or not, and he replied “I don’t know yet, I’m still on furlough.”

Wouldn’t mind so much if he hadn’t spent five years taking me to court and costing me thousands in actually getting contact in the first place!

@BurtsBeesKnees when DD went NC, I rang CMS to do this, and exh said he would take me back to court to enforce the order if I enforced a CMS change. So we're stuck on £20 a week.

* Both DC flatly refused to go by that point, regardless of any feelings I had about him.*

What changed?

Five years in court, forcing me to force them into contact or have residency switched and no contact for me at all. Hence me being even more pissed off about this, as DS has only settled into the routine "happily" for the last year or so.

Is he still violent now?

* And if he'd done some of the home schooling time, DS would have had 1:1 time in his work and coped better with this whole time*

But you say he’s obsessed with gaming.

You went your ex to be someone isn’t nor ever will be.

All you can say to DS is the truth "I have no idea, why do you think Daddy is saying he can't have you there?"

All you can say to DS is the truth "I have no idea, why do you think Daddy is saying he can't have you there?"

Why are you bothering? I know he is their dad but he obviously does not care about seeing them. Don't facilitate his shitness.

Nothing to add only my sympathies. Had the same thing. I work full time . Key worker. Ex was furloughed and I asked him to have the kids as I was relying on my mother who’s in an at risk category for childcare. He refused. Said it wasn’t his problem , he wasn’t going to put himself out to help me out and if I couldn’t get childcare and had to give my job up and lost our home the kids would have to go into care.

I'm not even expecting help ... just offering him the time he spent five years battling me for and trying to explain to DD why I'm not forcing him to go and see his dad all of a sudden!

@Systemrelevant

After reading your replies on this thread I'm going to have a good guess that "sorry I can't have DS because I'm on furlough" is more "I'm too busy gaming".

I wouldn't be surprised if he's spending all hours gaming and isn't washing/changing his clothes/cleaning the house/doing laundry or cooking for himself.

I'd be concerned that if he's been gaming like this for months now will he even bother turning back up to work after his furlough ends.