It's her money but should there be restrictions

[moolady1977]

My three DC have been left a rather big lump sum of money when they reach 21 and it has just come to light there is another lump sum for them but it's not been mentioned in the will ,now my DD wants to use some as a deposit and rent for a private rented house and for driving lessons a car and stuff for the baby she is expecting ,the youngest D's wants to get a bike license and get a bike and his bike test done . I don't have any problems with this but the DC's father is kicking off saying they shouldn't waste it they should bank it for when they are older but on my eyes it's stuff they need now and neither of us have the money to give them . I'm just asking for opinions really on what you would do in this situation

I agree with xenia. It's not really 'that much' but could be useful for uni fees or house deposit or driving lessons.
Also...don't let the 16 year old get a motorbike. My bro got one at that age and ended up quite quickly in a hospital ward in north London that was literally full of teen boys with motorbike induced injuries.

Their not wasting the money! Plus why is daughter wanting to rent? Wouldn’t a mortgage be better? To own instead of rent? Unless hubby can give them money for these life affirming things then I think they should use it. Wish someone had helped me out! X

is she looking for accommodation for all of them - what was the plan before the money?
she does need a roof over her head so its not a bad thing but my advice would be that she gets something she can afford on her own...
and also to check out impact on benefits-
could she study ? at 18 I would be hoping she could do something that leads to a better paid job - as an investment ? that can be easier worked around dc as well especially if family doing childcare although many colleges have childcare too....but learning to drive small car is also an investment in her self/skills and reduces dependency so would be very supportive of that too....

re motorbike - erm no from me.(not called organ doner machines for nothing) ...cant he use his for pre driving lessons/doing his theory- so can take his test buy a car as soon as he is 17?

This just gets more and more ridiculous. Yes, he’s a fabulous father who left his kids with their mother even though she’s apparently now drug addicted. He had been away from them long enough to meet your DD, move in with her and get her pregnant but apparently not long enough to sort out suitable housing to have his kids visit, even though he only lost his job recently. Wake up. Men who spin these stories are full of shit and you should be old enough to know that by now. An 18 year old may not yet be wise to this rubbish so you need to guide her.
Based on what little we know of your situation this £30k is more money than she’s ever likely to have again in her life. You haven’t responded to any questions here about your DD attaining any qualifications or going to university so I assume she isn’t interested. This money could make the difference between a life living in insecure rental properties and owning her own place.

I agree 30K is a big amount of money & should be invested wisely
There are few occasions where a big amount will ever become available

It's very easy to spend small amounts of money

I think they are wasting their money in some cases, but other than express opinion which you should do, nothing else.

Financial illiteracy (as I call it) is widespread.

I would encourage your DD to put some of the 10k in a help to buy isa so that she can consider buying somewhere when she gets the rest of her inheritance at 21, she can have £6k in savings before it affects benefits. £4k is enough for a deposit & some advance rent.

Tbh that's going to use up 10k each I would say. 2k for 10 lessons min (so probably more like 3k.

Sorry, I just had to point out that 10 lessons does not equate to £2000!

In your ideal world shed live with you.

So why dont you suggest it?

Before she blows her nest egg on the older , unemployed boyfriend and his 2 kids.

How old is he?

*Xenia Did you give your dc a £10K (or more) lump sum each and then promise them another £20K lump sum at 21yrs? because if not, you're not making any sense with your analogy.

By the time they were 18 they each had about £10k but that was presents at Christmas etc from relatives saved for university stage and they used the money to help fund university. There sum for housing was vastly more than £30k but I paid that direct to the conveyancing solicitor or mortgage company in each case. The twins' cash allowance at university (in addition to rent and university fees which I pay) is £7800 a year.

So short answer to your question is no.

Oh man, they get £7,800 a year for food and pocket money?
Bloody hell, can you be my mum please?

@PrincessPain haha yes you're indeed right, I'm a twit haha. Too much multi tasking!

I spent 500-600 on lessons not 3k doh!

Yes and I hve always worked full time and took 2 weeks off to have a baby in which has also meant that no win 2020 I can support them at university with a reasonable allowance. By the way the allowance is not too different from the full student loan those who are not very well off now get which is about £11k a year plus your student fees in London although that has to cover rent of your student room too and in many cases the loan is never paid off so in a sense tax payers are giving a lot of money to the children of the not very well off to attend university a lot of money those students are likely never to pay back so perhaps we should be patting those who pay a lot of income tax on the back and the state as much as some one like I am who chooses to spare the tax payer and thus leaves more money for the state to spend on the less well off!

I pay for their food in university holidays so the £150 a week is not including food other than when they are at university. Your children could do this for their children too if they pick a high paid career, move away from all family for work and only take 2 weeks off to have babies in.

As I pay for their education the funding stops then when that ends and separately I give the help towards a first property and that is it.
(They get a shared car paid for too currently) I only mention all this so people can see how much more money your teenagers might ultimately earn if they pick particular jobs and make certain life choices over others eg I moved from NE England to London for work and I planned my career from age 14.

Personally, I'd rather choose a more modest lifestyle than have to return to work 2 weeks after giving birth. I had a highly paid job at one point, for me, it wasn't worth the hours/stress/responsibility.

But horses for courses and all that :)