To get a dog even though dd is afraid of them

[WhosThatGirl89]

Genuinely interested in people's opinions and advice. Dd(5) doesn't like dogs. Whenever we're out and a dog comes anywhere near dd she practically climbs up me and makes me carry her until its gone. If the dog is on a lead she will pull on my hand.
She will, however hold the lead of my friends dog for walks. But if the dog turns to go near her she'll back away.
So here's my question. If we got a dog would it help dd's fear or make it worse?
Yabu- don't get a dog
Yanbu- get a dog

It is a very good idea to try and help her to get over her fear of dogs. It will make life much easier for her (and for you!)

Why? She can just avoid dogs. Sensible dog owners should have their dogs on leads where there are young children around.

Dog lovers never seem to quite get it that it's not mandatory for humans to like, or even put up with, other peoples' dogs.

I have never had any difficulty simply avoiding dogs. My dog owning friends know that their pets aren't welcome in my home, I don't walk in places popular with dogs off lead.

OPs DD has shown she dislikes dogs. That preference should be respected.

My niece dislikes dogs. 5 years ago her grandparents got one insisting that seeing one regularly she would get over it etc. She still hates the damn thing, now she just also resents the grandparents for trying to force it on her.

being afraid of dogs makes life difficult (and closed quite some doors in terms of jobs)

Um, no it doesn't.

What jobs does it block off, except being a vet etc which shes unlikely to be interested in if she isnt an animal lover?

Wait to get a dog until your dd is about nine or ten yrs.

I wouldn't get one. Your poor child has a fear of them. Would you make her climb to the top of something if she was scared of heights?

I don't think it's at all necessary to force a child to actively love dogs or to want one as a pet. But being afraid of dogs can be tricky if a friend or relative has a dog. (You can't exactly tell people not to get themselves a dog!)

My DH is allergic to dogs. But my DSis is a dog lover; when we got together, she had her own daft Labrador Retriever. My DH was able to come for walks with the dog, and to cope with visits when the dog was there. That dog sadly had to be PTS a few years ago, and now there's a new young Labrador Retriever. We were able to stay in a cottage for a family holiday, my DSis and her family brought the dog with them. My DH would obviously have preferred it if they'd left him behind, but it wasn't possible so he coped fine.

He wasn't keen on cats before he met me, but he's fine with them now. (Thankfully he isn't allergic to cats! )

It's just helpful if you're able to co-exist with dogs, even if you're not massively keen.

I know a couple of kids who were very afraid of dogs. With each of them, they were introduced to a calm, sensible adult dog over time, and taught about dog language etc. For two of them, the dog in question was my cousin's dog, a huge golden retriever who is a placid as can be.

It worked, they got to know one dog, and understand his body language and that took away the fear of dogs in general, but it didn't remove their caution around new dogs.

I am not sure a bouncy puppy is veyr helpful in this regard, sometimes an older dog, who won't jump or nip etc is better.

In any case, I would introduce the child to a dog, until they felt comfortable around dogs, before considering getting one yourself.

I was terrified of dogs until my parents got one when I was 11. I'm so pleased the did as before I was scared to leave the house, scared to visit friends houses, hated going on walks, the beach. Dogs are everywhere it's an awful fear to live with.

Do you actually WANT a dog though? It’s nowhere near the best way to get your child over her fears and even if it works, you will be stuck with all the disadvantages a dog brings for potentially 15 years or more.
They are a tie, a huge time commitment and expense.To get a dog you really need to WANT it for it’s own sake and it’s advantages
Let’s say it works and your daughter is comfortable with dogs 3 months later. Now what? Do you really still want a dog now it’s primary purpose has been accomplished?
Now let’s say it doesn’t work. Your child is now terrified in their own home. Clearly unsustainable, so the dog gets offloaded. If you have other children, they want to keep it, or you do, or your OH. Cue family trauma and an abandoned dog through no fault of its own.
To be fair, I know some that have done this and it’s worked but it’s a huge risk

A puppy would be a very bad idea. Bitey, jumpy, scratchy little hooligans!! Albeit cute
I’m a dog trainer and many clients children are frightened of their puppies early on, even though they loved dogs previously.
I’d look for some other way to gradually desensitise your DD, from the suggestions above.

So to summarise my ‘professional opinion’ is YABU

Thank you for all the replies. I'm reading them all and taking it all on board.
Sorry if u didn't see my previous replies because my username was different. I had said that I have wanted a dog for a long time and feel dd is old enough to understand dogs behaviours etc. Also, I wouldn't get a puppy for all the reasons everyone has said. This isn't the primary reason for wanting a dog, I just wanted to know if people had experience of this with their dc.
I'm going to let dd keep interacting with friends dog and maybe visit some others.

I'm going to let dd keep interacting with friends dog and maybe visit some others.

I think it is worth being more pro-active than this.

On eof the scared kids I mentioned above, specifically cam eot my house when we were dog sitting. her mum and I had a sort of step by step program with her. She watched the dog through the patio windows. We explained his behaviour, we talked about how to behave. Then she sat outside while I threw a ball, then she stood beside me, and so on.
One thing we taught her was the 'be a tree' when approched by a dog. Stand still (when dogs run round they don't bump into trees, so if you stand still like a tree they won't bump into you) pull in your 'branches' (hands) and look at your roots (feet) This still posture is very boring to dogs, and discourages them from playing/jumping up, and so on.

Can you not just wait until DD is older?

I disliked pretty much all dogs as a kid, and was scared of some too. I feel the same as an adult, it didn't go away. I second PP who said that people who love dogs (or cats for that matter) just can't seem to get how strongly none dog people feel the other way. My heart misses a beat then pounds when a dog off a lead runs towards us and I'm pissed off I have to be exposed to that.

If it doesn't work out and needs rehoming that's lousy for the dog.
Maybe do some volunteering at a dogs home or something instead and get your dog fix that way.

It's not just a fear that can be overcome with therapy or whatever in my case btw, it's overall an active dislike. I don't wish dogs any harm but I don't want them anywhere near me. No amount of step by step accustomisation will change it.

Puppies, no matter how cute, are a nightmare. Sharp little needles of teeth, claws scrabbling at your legs, madness during witching hour - absolutely worth it but hard work and not recommended around a small child.

You’d be better off introducing her to an old, patient, child loving small dog, OP, if you have a friend who has one.