To get a dog even though dd is afraid of them

[WhosThatGirl89]

Genuinely interested in people's opinions and advice. Dd(5) doesn't like dogs. Whenever we're out and a dog comes anywhere near dd she practically climbs up me and makes me carry her until its gone. If the dog is on a lead she will pull on my hand.
She will, however hold the lead of my friends dog for walks. But if the dog turns to go near her she'll back away.
So here's my question. If we got a dog would it help dd's fear or make it worse?
Yabu- don't get a dog
Yanbu- get a dog

I was petrified of dogs as a child, almost phobic. We got a pup and I walked on the sofa and chairs so she wouldn’t nip me. I bloody love them now and would have Dozens of my lifestyle allowed it. Having my own dog cured my terrible fear.

@SpilltheTea

Can you not take her to a dog rescue and walk some child friendly dogs to help lessen her fear?

This would have been terrifying for me a dog phobic child!

I have said I don't think we'd get a puppy. Also, I don't think it's an extreme phobia she has, she's just afraid and a bit anxious. I will look into the interacting at rescues i think. Thats a good idea

It is a very good idea to try and help her to get over her fear of dogs. It will make life much easier for her (and for you!) if she’s not afraid of them, and it might mean that in time you can get a family dog.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to try and achieve this by getting a dog though. It sounds a bit like you’re doing it on a whim, and as others have said, what if it doesn’t work?!

I can’t believe you even need to ask the question.

I developed my fear because as a very young toddler I got caught between dogs who were fighting. I don’t remember it but I was terrified. After my own pup I love dogs but I get anxious if dogs are playing and start snarling at each other, it seems to re-ignite that forgotten memory.

I wouldn't get a dog now but I would find a way to help her get over her fear.

My old neighbour had a little boy who was really scared of dogs. I had a placid older CCKS who was extremely well trained and taught the little boy (who was five) how to ask him to sit, stay, paw and such. Knowing how to control the dog and being able to trust that he wasn't going to jump up really helped. He used to take him for little walks up and down the street (within sight) and it was extremely cute.

I’d put the kid up for adoption and get a dog 😜

Our DC were very wary of dogs until we got a puppy of our own, they know how to relate to dogs now and are fine.

My parents did this to me, they rescued a puppy because my fear was getting to be too much. It worked, I love dogs!

A dog is a living creature, not a teaching aid.

Get your DD used to dogs by visiting friend who have them, inviting guests who bring them to your house, giving her plenty of opportunities to meet friendly dogs.

Only then consider getting your own

There is a site called borrow my dog. Maybe sign up and take different dogs out for a walk each week. That may help her get ysed to different types and you can kind of be in control of which dogs have good temperment etc...

Totally unfair on the dog. If it doesn't help you'll get rid of it. They're not things you can just test out and return if you dont want it anymore.
Get her used to other peoples dogs, volunteer at rehoming centres as walkers.

Teach your child not to be afraid of dogs BEFORE throwing a poor animal into the mix. Dogs have feelings too you know.

I voted YABU, just like I was....

DD has wanted a dog as long as she can remember.

We finally agreed when she was 7 and started looking for a rescue. Then she was bitten, on the face, by a dog we were told was good with children . Her crime, she giggled, it growled, then attacked her.

She still wanted a dog, but her confidence was shot and she was petrified of being anywhere near dogs.

After lots and lots of chats she and we felt that she would be okay with a puppy so we bought a puppy from a reputable breeder.

On day 1 DD was so scared she threw up.

We decided that returning the puppy would do more harm to her fragile self esteem, she "loved her puppy" and wanted to get over her fear in equal proportions to her terror. So we took things very, very, slowly.

For weeks she watched TV and ate her meals from the other side of the safety gate. Then only came in the room when dpup was on a lead. First she got more confident outside, then in. We got her therapy.

Now they're best pals and she has no fear of ddog and she's great with other dogs we meet on walks - gone a little backwards with big dogs due to not seeing any other dogs at the start of lockdown, but regaining her confidence slowly.

Would I do it again knowing what I do now, no. I'd do the therapy first.

I spent about 2 years terrified of dogs after an encounter with a neighbours dog. I only overcame this when my sister got two dogs and I spent time around them learning how to relate to them. Love dogs now and have 2 of my own. On another note I do have an extream phobia of rodents and I wish someone had helped me overcome this in childhood as my fear now prevents me doing anything but completely avoiding them.

Loads of people posting that it could go either way.
But of the people who have posted that they got a dog despite/because of a scared DC - no one has posted that it hasn't worked.

I'd get small dog, not a puppy though cause they go through the boisterous stage. Something adult, something small and calm. So it doesn't intimidate and isn't going to tower over DC. I think this is a far better idea than having the DC go on being afraid of dogs.

Someone up the thread said 'what if they're scared of spiders...would you buy a tarantula?' Well, that is how I ended up with 24 tarantulas. I was scared of spiders...I cried when I came across a house spider. Now I have 24 tarantulas ranging from 1cm babies up to a 15cm pretty venomous Indian arboreal. Exposure to a creature, realising that it is all about respect and kindness, is the best way to cure fear. I adore my tarantulas now and I get excited when I find a house spider!

We did it op.

Dd wasn’t terrified but cautious, we did a lot of research and adopted the most amazing dog.

We now have 2 and dd loves them! She is also autistic and really help her when she’s had a bad day etc.

It depends.

I’ve always had a severe snake phobia and if my family had bought one as a pet it would have been extremely traumatic for me.

It’s it silliness or genuine terror? If it’s the latter then you’re being a bit cruel.

I have always been wary of dogs, as a child/teenager it was an absolute fear. We always had dogs in our home, my mum used to think I'd just 'get over it' but I was always on edge.
I now have a lovely little cat; my older DC don't have dogs either and my mum thinks it's unimaginably ridiculous they prefer cats or no pet at all. My daughter and me are very happy with our cat. Even though I'm now 51, my mum still goes on about how it's strange I'm a cat person when her and my two siblings prefer dogs.

Could you try borrow my doggy to see if she can build a connection?

I was going to add that I wouldn't get a dog now as your DD May be like me and get used to dogs but still be wary.

My son 4 was getting ridiculously terrified of dogs

We got a puppy and they are the best of friends and he has no fear at all of any dogs now

So I'd say yes get one
But only if you really want one!!

My son 4 was getting ridiculously terrified of dogs

We got a puppy and they are the best of friends and he has no fear at all of any dogs now

So I'd say yes get one
But only if you really want one!!