To cancel a wedding abroad that 40 guests have paid to attend?

[Justwondering82]

We are due to get married abroad in March next year. So far we have only paid the deposit for the venue, remaining balance not due until January. However our 40 guests have paid for their package holidays to attend, some have only paid deposits and some have paid full balances.

The only reason I want to cancel is because I don't think it's going to happen. With covid, the possibility of a second wave and social distancing etc I just do not realistically see how it will go ahead. We were having the wedding next year and buying a house the year after, but we've got enough sat in our savings for either a house deposit or the wedding. A house has come up that we love, it's in the perfect location and is just everything we want. We can't get the house and not cancel/postpone the wedding as we wouldn't have enough left in savings to cover both if the wedding was to go ahead. We would ideally want to postpone the wedding, but god knows the long term impact this will have on travel especially for a large group of us. We don't want to be impacted by social distancing either. I'd rather cancel and just see how the next few years pan out?

What do I do?

How many have paid the full balance? Quite unusual for a ‘normal’ package to be paid up already.

Bollox

@1940s

You're using Covid as a thinly veiled excuse for the fact you'd rather spend your money on a house. Thus leaving your (assume entire) close family and friends out of pocket. How you can consider this is beyond me. You should have thought long and hard about your financial situation and the consequences of prioritising your wedding.

Read the...err.........

What happened to the MN mantra that it's an invitation, not a summons ?

if you accept the invitation you would expect the event to take place, wouldn't you???

@dairyfairies

What happened to the MN mantra that it's an invitation, not a summons ?

if you accept the invitation you would expect the event to take place, wouldn't you???

You snipped the bit where people described being "forced" to attend, which was what I was noting.

@Justwondering82 I highly suggest you ask @MNHQ to delete the thread because you’ve gotten the answers you needed. They’ve done that for other posters before. :)

If I had scrimped and saved and paid to attend your wedding and you did this I would not be attending anymore events you invited me to including rescheduled wedding in UK in future. You will lose a lot of friends and family members over this shitty behaviour.

Sorry OP only just seen your update.

Have you asked your guests if they are still keen to go?
They may not be

There will probably be a lot more posters who come on here to tell the OP how unreasonable she's being. But she's long gone, having said that she wants the wedding to go ahead. She was just being melodramatic and defeatist because of COVID-19, thinking that she would have to cancel anyway.

Even if the wedding element is cancelled I don’t think insurance would cover the guests because they are essentially booking a holiday, just because the wedding doesn’t go ahead, doesn’t mean the holiday can’t IYSWIM. so if they can fly out and the hotels open I doubt they can cancel without loosing the deposit etc.

If I was a guest to an overseas wedding and the bride /groom cancelled due to wanting to buy a house I would be absolutely fuming. It’s all well and good saying well people still get their holiday, but for a lot of people they wouldn’t have chosen your wedding destination as their holiday destination. They may have booked elsewhere on different dates.

If you do cancel do the right thing and refund those people who can’t get refunds etc.

Justwondering82, I hope your wedding (whenever and wherever it happens) is a joyful day for you, DH, and your friends and family. And more importantly, the start of a long and happy marriage.

I hope you are ok op and don’t take comments to heart.
I hope you get your dream wedding and your dream house. Best of luck

God no, you really can't cancel now.

I too, think your reason is because you want to buy the house. It’s next March, I highly doubt travel won’t be permitted and social distancing rules still in place. I had to postpone my September wedding until next May and I’m wondering why I bothered now everything seems to be getting back to normal.

How about you start the conversation by reassuring them that they will not lose out moneywise.
Going ahead as planned with the 'happy couple' agreed together that they do not want to be there would not be a fun trip for everyone concerned.
Explain to them that reality has struck you. Because of Covid many people have done serious thinking about many topics. Be open and be prepared to pay people.
That will only cost you money. You will still retain friendship and goodwill.
Get professional help for them and their insurance claims. Hold their hands they will appreciate it
(Booking for a wedding about 12 months away would always be a risk.)

The people who have booked to attend your wedding care so unbelievably much about you. I don’t think people who get married abroad understand how much they’re asking from their guests - to spend their one holiday that year (maybe even their only foreign holiday every few years) with you, the cost, the leave... people only attend abroad weddings for the people they really love. And you’re asking them to potentially sacrifice the cost of a package holiday because you fancy a house instead?
By all means, cancel and buy the house. But pay everyone who’s out of pocket back.

Just want to add some positivity here OP - I'm bridesmaid at a wedding in August abroad, with 40 guests attending. It's still going ahead! So don't feel so down it might get cancelled, things will hopefully be much better for you by March

Northern Ireland is allowed indoor weddings form the 10th July. If that is hopeful for you. So it means others will soon follow suit.

What on Earth is wrong with everyone today? Can most of you not read? All you have to do now is log in and press the 'read OP's posts' link. You will then see she ISN'T CANCELLING THE CHEQUE (SORRY WEDDING!).
Leave the poor woman alone!

Hope the wedding goes ahead and you have an amazing time AND find a new house 😘

You say you don't want a socially distanced wedding but if you cancel and rebook in 2 or 3 years time I can guarantee your family and friends will be further than 2m away from you. They will give you a wide berth and your wedding will probably be just you two.

If COVID cancels your wedding in say January next year then yes your guests will get refunds as it's out of their control.

If you cancel it now, people will get nothing back. If I was invited to this wedding and you cancelled it now 'just in case' I'd be pissed and expecting you to refund all my costs and I sure as hell wouldn't be coming to your rescheduled date.

If you’re happy to be friendless afterwards then sure, great plan. Otherwise, then definitely not.

Oh dear, poor you, OP.

That said, I think you are quite bonkers to say this:

It's not that I'd rather the house, I'd rather my dream wedding

No, and a thousand times no. A house trumps a wedding. A big wedding is one day in your life. A house could be the next 40 years.

You're a bit stuck now, but if things turn out in such a way that your wedding can't go ahead, spend your money on a different house and forget about the Big Day.

Even if nothing else, if it absolutely comes to it and you find yourself divorced in 25 years' time (I know, it wasn't going to happen to me, either), you will have something very solid behind you.

cancel the cheque!