Page 7 | To think a 2 year old should walk?

blanche85 · 2020-07-05T20:20:07+00:00

I have a 2 year old who will not walk anywhere! I have a pram,obviously,but he absolutely will not go in it - I've tried everything...toys,snacks,distraction...nothing. If I manage to get him in there (with a huge struggle) he will just go crazy and scream and go red...you get the picture. Thing is,I don't drive and I live a good 30 minute walk away from shops/park/anything... The main problem is when I have to get heavier shopping...all of that plus him is just killing me. He is generally very clingy and wants to be carried everywhere. So...any tips to get him to stay in his pram? Enjoy it even? Thank you

jbiscuits · 06/07/2020 14:01

As a fellow non-driver OP you have my sympathy!

Whilst I agree with PPs that you are the parent and in charge, I think there's also a point where if every outing becomes miserable it's not really worth it. I'd look into a decent toddler carrier and put him on your back. I was still carrying my 3 year old home from preschool on my back until lockdown happened. Yes I could have made him walk, but then he was tired and grumpy, and it was much more pleasant for everyone for me to carry him. A good carrier will also save your back a lot more than carrying him on your hip.

NikeDeLaSwoosh · 06/07/2020 14:05

He will just have to scream and go red then.

You will have to suck it up.

Parenting's rubbish sometimes, you have my sympathy, but this is definitely a battle you need to choose to fight, and win.

theAntsareMyFriends · 06/07/2020 15:23

My DS was like this. I carried him miles. So many people here saying strap him in a let him cry but I found it defeats the purpose of a relaxing walk if all you can hear is screaming.

We got a globber 5 in 1 scooter which is the best and most used thing we ever bought. We pushed him (its lighter and easier than a pushchair) for over a year and then he scooted for a year before we passed it onto his brother to start the cycle again.

He loved it, we loved it and my back loved it.

VenusClapTrap · 06/07/2020 17:33

Well done op. I agree that today was a success, because you didn’t give in. Good first step. As a pp said, sometimes a fortnight won’t cure it, sometimes they just have to grow out of it - mine was one of those. But eventually they do.

I remembered another tactic I used to employ; when ds asked me to pick him up I would say “Sorry ds my back is hurting so I can’t carry you. But we can cuddle on the floor.” And I would sit down wherever I was and hold him. He would get bored quickly and wriggle off, because it’s not as interesting as being held at mum height and watching stuff being done. Obviously this doesn’t work in the street, but it does around the house, and indeed, at playgrounds when it’s dry.

Good luck. Toddlers are a grind.

bridgetreilly · 06/07/2020 17:35

Well done, OP.

lilgreen · 06/07/2020 17:36

Well done op, keep it up, he will learn and it’s your job to teach him.

Standrewsschool · 06/07/2020 17:43

One step at a time, literally.

Well done for perseverance.

Cheeseislife2020 · 06/07/2020 18:23

What is his language like ? I personally think the length of time / persistence of the screaming is a bit unusual and would wonder if something was genuinely causing him to dislike walking/touching the ground? Is his muscle tone good etc?

Original poster

blanche85 · 06/07/2020 18:36

@Cheeseislife2020

What is his language like ? I personally think the length of time / persistence of the screaming is a bit unusual and would wonder if something was genuinely causing him to dislike walking/touching the ground? Is his muscle tone good etc?

His muscle tone is fine - language not so much,but I put this down to him being spoken to in two languages (English obviously and German from his Dad)

No change this afternoon,but I didn't cave in,and my neck is certainly thanking me for it!

Thank you all for your support

OP posts:

Theploughwasshowingandorion · 06/07/2020 19:07

Aww I sympathise OP- my DS is exactly the same age and is just beginning to have proper paddies if he can’t be carried...problem is I’m pregnant and it’s hard enough carrying the shopping etc.! I’ve found the following helps:

I put him in the buggy in the hallway not outside so he immediately knows what is happening and doesntget a nasty surprise!
I give him snacks one by one very slowly from a supply in the bag behind him so he is too distracted asking for ‘more’ to complain
he likes to ‘help’ by carrying an item of shopping like a multipack or crisps or bunch of bananas in his buggy and hugging it to him
we got him a little balance bike that he uses for shorter trips to the corner shop/ postbox etc that he adores- it’s completely independent so he feels grown up on it
what I think helps most of all is I explain why as I think their understanding is really good and far ahead of their speech at this age. I say ‘we need to use the buggy as it’s so far to the shops’ or ‘mummy can’t lift you because of the baby, sweetheart’ and explain to him how long he’ll be in there and where we are going/why

Obviously every child is different though- but fingers crossed for you!

Idontbelieveit12 · 06/07/2020 19:25

Will he watch annoyingly cheesy kids songs on YouTube on your phone while he’s in the buggy? That’s the only way I used to be able to shop without my son screaming to get out 🙈

AlmostAlwyn · 06/07/2020 19:46

I haven't read the full thread (just your updates), but my son is 3 now (and I also still breastfeed and cosleep!). I had a great carrier and just carried him everywhere. It's all well and good saying "be the parent" and "he's got to learn", but screaming himself to exhaustion for 45 minutes? Surely not a great time for anyone.

I had a Beco 8 and it was really great. I usually took the pushchair if I needed to carry heavier stuff and just carried him! As I said, he's 3 now and will walk anywhere (though likes riding his bike more!).

This is one battle I wouldn't fight. It's just a phase. He'll get there!

AlmostAlwyn · 06/07/2020 20:01

Just to add, my son is also bilingual, and it's a myth that it causes speech delays. Your son will get there with language too, you wouldn't force his language because "he has to learn". It's developmental, as is this issue with walking. You won't still be carrying him in a year, I'll bet!

memememe · 06/07/2020 20:11

poor baby, hes still little. id get a toddler sling and continue to carry him for some journeys. small trips in the pram are good but dont distress him so much he falls asleep after 45 mins screaming. put him in for 5 mins. as soon as he is calm for even 1 second (distract him if necessary for that to happen!) take him out and praise him and then carry him for a bit. then repeat. youll soon be able to lengthen the time in the pram.

monkeymusicallthetime · 06/07/2020 20:44

I hope that helps. Say that mummy can't carry you as her hands hurt you have option one: walk or option two: pram. Expect cry, reassure give a cuddle and come back to two options until one is chosen.

Clairey844 · 06/07/2020 21:12

@blanche85

I also still breastfeed him and co-sleep, so maybe he's just so used to being close to me all of the time.

Ok...sounds like I need to be tougher!

Lovely to hear you cosleep and BF (as do I with my 27mo) and I definitely think it could be a closeness thing. He just wants to feel you close to him and doesn't understand how physically hard it is to carry him now he's bigger. I don't think it necessarily needs to be a case of he needs to learn that you're in charge at this point (and I am by no means opposed to discipline btw) but more of finding a way to make it work for both of you. I use a tula carrier and it's great. My LG is the opposite-loves to walk and last week did a 4/5km reservoir loop walk in 2hrs without asking to be carried or to even stop for a rest. When we walk into town I put the carrier in my backpack (it's soft so folds/scrunches up) and when her legs get tired she goes in it on my back. She will often fall asleep in it. It also means I don't really take my pushchair out much at all now. She isn't a fan of the pushchair but when there is no choice I say tough-in you get and scream if you must but having the option of the carrier works well for us a lot of the time.

Might be worth a try, especially if you can pick on up second hand x

Clairey844 · 06/07/2020 21:13

@blanche85

I also still breastfeed him and co-sleep, so maybe he's just so used to being close to me all of the time.

Ok...sounds like I need to be tougher!

Lovely to hear you cosleep and BF (as do I with my 27mo) and I definitely think it could be a closeness thing. He just wants to feel you close to him and doesn't understand how physically hard it is to carry him now he's bigger. I don't think it necessarily needs to be a case of he needs to learn that you're in charge at this point (and I am by no means opposed to discipline btw) but more of finding a way to make it work for both of you. I use a tula carrier and it's great. My LG is the opposite-loves to walk and last week did a 4/5km reservoir loop walk in 2hrs without asking to be carried or to even stop for a rest. When we walk into town I put the carrier in my backpack (it's soft so folds/scrunches up) and when her legs get tired she goes in it on my back. She will often fall asleep in it. It also means I don't really take my pushchair out much at all now. She isn't a fan of the pushchair but when there is no choice I say tough-in you get and scream if you must but having the option of the carrier works well for us a lot of the time.

Might be worth a try, especially if you can pick on up second hand x

GenevaMaybe · 06/07/2020 21:19

I totally feel your pain as I have exactly the same. My big heavy 2.5 year old has massive tantrums in the buggy and refuses to walk. She just wants to be carried. I have really bad sciatica and I just decided I could not carry her any more last weekend. I refused point blank. At one point we were both crying. In the end I let her watch peppa on my phone and bribed her with food and we managed a walk to the shop and back.

sunlightflower · 06/07/2020 21:31

This is totally normal toddler behaviour. Nothing to do with breastfeeding and cosleeping!

fortheloveofcrisps · 06/07/2020 21:35

It's a phase and it sucks. He is starting to realise he isn't the centre of your world all the time and it's scary for him.

distraction sometimes works - when hanging out washing get him to pass things to you or Hang the socks, do this before the whinging starts, engage him before he realises.
only give choices that work for you. Walk or pushchair.
lots of cuddles and attention that doesn't involve carrying and picking up whenever you can.
stop carrying him/ picking him up unnecessarily.

Yes you do need to be tougher and the little blighters know what buttons to press. But you are the adult and are smarter than him. You can preempt the tantrums most of the time and figure out a distraction.

Also no child likes to be rushed, you have to make more time for everything, gone are the days of being able to pick up the baby and rush.