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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 2 year old should walk?

170 replies

blanche85 · 05/07/2020 21:20

I have a 2 year old who will not walk anywhere! I have a pram,obviously,but he absolutely will not go in it - I've tried everything...toys,snacks,distraction...nothing.

If I manage to get him in there (with a huge struggle) he will just go crazy and scream and go red...you get the picture.

Thing is,I don't drive and I live a good 30 minute walk away from shops/park/anything...

The main problem is when I have to get heavier shopping...all of that plus him is just killing me.

He is generally very clingy and wants to be carried everywhere.

So...any tips to get him to stay in his pram? Enjoy it even?

Thank you

OP posts:
ImFree2doasiwant · 05/07/2020 22:38

Oh and yes a buggy board might help, I had one for dc1 when dc2 came along. He felt like a big boy and could peer at the baby as we went along.

2Kidsinatrenchcoat · 05/07/2020 22:39

[quote 2155User]@SandieCheeks

We go out 3 times a day and have done for a long time. He doesn’t go near the edge of the path and if someone else is coming he either stops or moves to the side when I ask.[/quote]
Good for you but not every toddler is like that, in fact I’d go as far as saying most aren’t!

VenusClapTrap · 05/07/2020 22:40

@sillybean we had a ‘Little Helper’ for this problem. Both dc loved it. They’re expensive new but you can pick them up on eBay or Gumtree - in fact this has reminded me that ours is squirrelled away somewhere and needs to be dusted off and Gumtreed!

KarmaKamel · 05/07/2020 22:40

@bridgetreilly

Also, hard as it may seem, this is the point at which you really need to be making it clear to your child that you are the parent and you are in charge, not him. So yes, he'll scream and go red. Ignore him. Let him have his tantrum, then make him do what you want anyway. Don't give in, because the only thing that teaches him is how to get you to give in.
This ^
2155User · 05/07/2020 22:41

@2Kidsinatrenchcoat

Totally agree. In fact I’m wholly expecting my fair share of tantrums and wild child ways will come my way at some point.

VenusClapTrap · 05/07/2020 22:41

“Little Helper Fun Pod” that should say.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 05/07/2020 22:42

when they’re fastened correctly the weight should be spread out in such a way that they’re comfortable to carry and don’t hurt your back.

Maybe for you. Most people do not want to carry a ruddy great 3 year old, in any position whatsoever! If OP was happy carrying him I'm sure shes aware there are slings for that - she is posting on mnet after all. The point is she does not want to carry him.

Emeraldshamrock · 05/07/2020 22:43

Avoid picking him up no matter how hard it gets when he starts to climb arms out kneel down to him and say can't pick you up right now, do it for a week ignoring red faced tantrums, even going to bed don't carry him in the house, he can cuddle on your lap when sitting.
Your back won't last he'll soon opt for the buggy on long walks when his legs tire.

2Kidsinatrenchcoat · 05/07/2020 22:44

[quote 2155User]@2Kidsinatrenchcoat

Totally agree. In fact I’m wholly expecting my fair share of tantrums and wild child ways will come my way at some point.[/quote]
Appreciate it while you can, my oldest was the easiest, most well behaved toddler but it’s all been downhill since then Grin

skodadoda · 05/07/2020 22:44

Also, hard as it may seem, this is the point at which you really need to be making it clear to your child that you are the parent and you are in charge, not him. So yes, he'll scream and go red. Ignore him. Let him have his tantrum, then make him do what you want anyway. Don't give in, because the only thing that teaches him is how to get you to give in.

This OP

2Kidsinatrenchcoat · 05/07/2020 22:45

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

when they’re fastened correctly the weight should be spread out in such a way that they’re comfortable to carry and don’t hurt your back.

Maybe for you. Most people do not want to carry a ruddy great 3 year old, in any position whatsoever! If OP was happy carrying him I'm sure shes aware there are slings for that - she is posting on mnet after all. The point is she does not want to carry him.

I’m not telling her she has to use one, just letting her know it was an option, which she may not have known as toddler slings aren’t as widely used as baby slings.
2155User · 05/07/2020 22:46

@2Kidsinatrenchcoat

Haha I am, trust me. Too scared to have a second as I know good luck doesn’t often strike twice!

Guineapigbridge · 05/07/2020 22:51

By 16 months my girls were going EVERYWHERE by mini Micro scooter. They're fine on those. Take a backpack for groceries so you have a hand free if needed.
Alternatively, get a buggy board for the pushchair, toddler goes on the buggy board, groceries go in the pram.
This is for trips of about 20 -25 mins?
Or, get groceries delivered for a while.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 05/07/2020 22:51

I'd pan a trip to the park (so where HE wants to go) and make it impossible for him to be carried: rucksack on back, shoulder bag, bag in other hand (all empty). Say that you'd LOVE to go to the park with him but you can't as you can't possibly carry him. What a pity! And of COURSE he wouldn't be able to go in the pan so what a shame, he'll just have to miss out.

Emeraldshamrock · 05/07/2020 22:51
Here is a supernanny clip on refuses to walk.
2Kidsinatrenchcoat · 05/07/2020 22:53

[quote 2155User]@2Kidsinatrenchcoat

Haha I am, trust me. Too scared to have a second as I know good luck doesn’t often strike twice![/quote]
I’m afraid I can’t offer you any reassurances there, my second has been the most hard work child I’ve ever met, his current favourite game is climbing onto windowsills and jumping off them! He only does it when my back is turned and I still haven’t figured out how he gets up there...

1300cakes · 05/07/2020 22:53

Another vote here for a ride on or push along toy - trike, scooter, walker, pram. My son loves to walk with his little toy pram and it folds up really small like an umbrella so I can easily carry it if need be.

Pinkypink · 05/07/2020 22:56

My daughter was similar about her car seat and I once had to turn the car around from a day trip bc her screaming was just unbearable.
Sil advised bringing car seat into the house and letting her play in it - climb in and out and even watch tv in it. Basically she got used to it and got over it. Maybe that would work with the buggy?
But as other pp have suggested, sometimes they have to scream it out. You have to get things done and eventually they do learn who is boss.
Not easy. Good luck

ChaosRising · 05/07/2020 22:57

I have what I suspect is the opposite problem with my toddler. He wants to walk (well, run) everywhere, including into busy traffic, won't hold my hand nicely and moans and plays up when the reins are put on. And he's very very fast. Must admit I slightly envy my friend with the 'clingon' toddler as I'm chasing after mine as he's about to fall in another pond (this has happened several times). I'm the one who gets the pitying/disapproving looks from onlookers.

No advice I'm afraid except that I've started sitting down on the pavement with my son refusing to move when he won't hold hands nicely. He soon gets fed up and then holds hands for a bit and, if he plays up again, I just refuse to move again. Better than him going under a car. You do just have to get tough, I think, and refuse to move unless he's walking nicely.

Mummyays · 05/07/2020 23:03

So you have a 1 year old then? 22 months isn't 2 and he won't have the emotional or physical "maturity" of a 2 year old until he is probably half way through his 2's. My son is 20 months and has been walking for just over a year, but I still wouldn't expect him to walk long distances at this age (he does but I dont expect him to do the full distance) and I don't like to put him in a pushchair so he either walks or is carried. I get tired walking for half an hour, i cant imagine how his little legs would feel after doing that many little steps

BertieBotts · 05/07/2020 23:06

Chaos you need reins! Backpack type so he's proud of them, or just persevere with the rule of having them on.

Squeezylemon · 05/07/2020 23:06

I'm not trying to scare you OP, but my dad carried my brother everywhere when he was younger and he still lives with/off him at 23

evod · 05/07/2020 23:23

My ds was similar. I think the reasons for my ds not wanting to walk were complicated.

No advice except please be careful you don't end up with permanent neck problems like me.

Witchend · 05/07/2020 23:23

Only one of mine wanted to be carried and that was ds. Turned out he wanted to be carried because he had very bad glue ear and that way he could hear what was going on/lip read me.

For the other two, dd1 loved her buggy. She was bribable in with a packet of raisins.
Dd2 hated the buggy. I think she went in voluntarily less than a dozen times. She went in a sling (with dd1 in the buggy) until she was around a year, then either walked or went on the buggy board (still with dd1 in the buggy)

BrummyMum1 · 05/07/2020 23:33

“Mountain buggy uni rider” plus a rucksack for your shopping. He’s not restrained and it’s fun and safer than a scooter.