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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 2 year old should walk?

170 replies

blanche85 · 05/07/2020 21:20

I have a 2 year old who will not walk anywhere! I have a pram,obviously,but he absolutely will not go in it - I've tried everything...toys,snacks,distraction...nothing.

If I manage to get him in there (with a huge struggle) he will just go crazy and scream and go red...you get the picture.

Thing is,I don't drive and I live a good 30 minute walk away from shops/park/anything...

The main problem is when I have to get heavier shopping...all of that plus him is just killing me.

He is generally very clingy and wants to be carried everywhere.

So...any tips to get him to stay in his pram? Enjoy it even?

Thank you

OP posts:
caffeinebuzz · 05/07/2020 22:07

When she hit this stage I would offer DD the choice to walk or go in her buggy. If she refused I would strap her into the buggy and just carry on through the tantrum. She quickly learnt and accepted that being carried wasn't an option, and started to walk most places or buggy for longer journeys that would tire out her legs.

BertieBotts · 05/07/2020 22:08

And yes I would also see about getting him checked over for any leg/pain/foot issues, if he literally never walks - that's unusual IME as when they have learned to walk they tend to want to do it all the time, and run around in circles/down hills and things. DS2 at the moment is obsessed with stepping over things and stepping up and down stairs (rather than crawling), without holding on/holding hands seems to be his aim.

lilgreen · 05/07/2020 22:09

@sillybean put them in a high chair so they can see what you’re doing.

bridgetreilly · 05/07/2020 22:09

I'd be 100% happy for him to walk...it's just the carrying that I really can't do any longer...he's obviously heavy and my neck and shoulders hurt for hours,days even afterwards.

Stop. Stop now. You are hurting yourself.

What you have to learn, OP, is that being a parent isn't about making your child happy all the time. He wants what he wants in the moment. You have to be the one making better choices for him and for you, even when he doesn't like it.

lilgreen · 05/07/2020 22:11

My DD used to go straight as a rod to try to prevent me putting her in the buggy. I’d have to push her bottom into the seat and strap her in. She hates being reminded now she’s 19!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 05/07/2020 22:12

Does he run round the park/ garden etc?

2155User · 05/07/2020 22:14

@lilgreen

How on earth is a balance bike not safe? My 20 month old happily toddles off on his balance/bike and helmet very steadily and with no assistance. Perfectly safe.

Flynn999 · 05/07/2020 22:15

Have you tried those buggy boards? The ones that they can stand/sit on. He’s then close to you and you can still get about.

SandieCheeks · 05/07/2020 22:19

[quote 2155User]@lilgreen

How on earth is a balance bike not safe? My 20 month old happily toddles off on his balance/bike and helmet very steadily and with no assistance. Perfectly safe.[/quote]
And what do you do when you're carrying shopping bags and they're toddling off in everyone's way or out into the road Confused

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 05/07/2020 22:19

Have you considered a toddler sling? Might save your arms at least

peachgreen · 05/07/2020 22:20

"Mummy can't carry you right now because it's too far. You have to stay in the buggy. I know you want to be carried but I can't carry you right now. When we get home you can have lots of cuddles." And repeat as often as necessary in a calm but firm voice. And mean it. And don't give in!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/07/2020 22:20

You are the parent, so you put him in the buggy, strap him in and ignore his tantrums. Please tell me you are not carrying a nearly 2 year old a 30 min walk to the shops, and carrying him back along with the shopping?

Chionia · 05/07/2020 22:20

Two choices: walk (on reins) or buggy. Those are the only choices. If he can't choose, then he goes in the buggy. If he says he's going to walk and then refuses, then you have to wrestle or bribe him into the buggy. He can scream blue murder, but being carried is not an option at his age. I had one like this, and had to learn to ignore the screams. As I also had a baby as well by that point, it was a bit easier in a way as there really, really was no choice.

Boring them into submission can also work, if you're not in a hurry to get anywhere. I used to do this with mine. I would take a book with me and start reading it if they started refusing to co-operate. It was more effective than trying to argue or reason with a toddler.

I mention reins because the same child was also a bolter.

lilmishap · 05/07/2020 22:20

3 kids first, well she was a buggy lover until 4, 2nd hated it and then came third who had Clubfeet and a few surgeries......He NEEDED it, HE FELT PAIN without it, HE DID NOT WANT TO BE THE BABY/SPECIAL CASE/VICTIM SO HE DID NOT GET IN THE BUGGY....True I have fucked my elbow and shoulder, but he wan't in the buggy?

The point is parenting is as parenting does. Kids couldn't give a shit they're busy doing 'being kids' Parenting is not getting a child off the wet pavement, or from under strangers feet, That is physical exertion FOR YOU,

Honestly....Get it done in the summer

I never saw a schoolkid in a buggy that wasn't needed. If she won't walk, you are not gonna leave her. Dont call her bluff.
With my first, the bloody bastard shit cunt broke. There was about a fortnight of hell.

2155User · 05/07/2020 22:20

@SandieCheeks

We go out 3 times a day and have done for a long time. He doesn’t go near the edge of the path and if someone else is coming he either stops or moves to the side when I ask.

SandieCheeks · 05/07/2020 22:21

It's ok to say no.

It's ok for your child to be cross and frustrated that they don't get what they want.

He won't be damaged or hate you because you strap him into his buggy or hang out the washing.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 05/07/2020 22:23

He is screaming because it's working, you keep giving in. Stop responding to the tantrums and he will soon learn they are not an effective way to behave.

VenusClapTrap · 05/07/2020 22:24

Oh, ds was an absolute horror for this. We had some real battles of wills. You have my sympathy. Ds would sit down wherever he was and refuse to go another step. I used to walk ahead and pretend to leave him behind; sometimes this worked, but sometimes he would just sit there tantrumming and calling my bluff.

I can remember one memorable occasion when I sat down too, quite a long way ahead on the path (it was a footpath across a field, not a busy pavement!) and just waited for him to get bored of screaming and decide to carry on. Dd and I chatted quietly to each other and ignored him, which infuriated him. Eventually he couldn’t cope with the lack of attention, got up and carried on.

Ds is still a stubborn drama queen, even at 8. Refusing to walk was just the beginning! We have had to be very consistent at saying no and meaning it, as give him an inch and he takes a mile - with everything!

Ikeameatballs · 05/07/2020 22:25

What is his broader development like? Is he talking? What do you think his understanding is of what you say to him?

StatementKnickers · 05/07/2020 22:25

Let him scream?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/07/2020 22:25

*Oh,and hanging out the washing in the garden...It's horrible...he'll want me to pick him up and I obviously can't and he just screams and grabs me the whole time...
*

God this must be exhausting op. My second ds was like this but started walking at 10 months and became much more independent after that. You need to be really firm with him. Don't pander to his tantrums. He's nearly 2, he can understand when you tell him no.

sillybean · 05/07/2020 22:27

@lilgreen good idea! We currently have one of those seats that attaches to the table to save on space. But I think it's time to get that Ikea high chair!

gamerchick · 05/07/2020 22:34

I'd push the buggy. Plonk in seat and grab the middle strap so they can't slide out. Fasten under arms still holding the strap and then put arms through.

Just stop now, he needs to learn he can't have it all his own way. Do the tantrum

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 05/07/2020 22:35

Sandiecheeks surely no one is trudging 30 mins with loads of heavy bags and a toddler given its 2020 and you can get literally anything delivered?

2Kidsinatrenchcoat · 05/07/2020 22:36

@Whatelsecouldibecalled

Have you considered a toddler sling? Might save your arms at least
I second this, there are brands that do ones designed for toddlers (Rose and Rebellion is one that I can think of off the top of my head) and they’re designed so when they’re fastened correctly the weight should be spread out in such a way that they’re comfortable to carry and don’t hurt your back. My youngest is almost 3 and we don’t use a buggy any more but I still use a sling if I need to go to the shops and want to keep him close to me, have my hands free, and not be stuck moving at toddler speed