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Original poster

Is anyone else boycotting Tesco's for giving £80,000 to Mermaids?

999 replies

loveyouradvice · 05/07/2020 17:20

Just that really... I was shocked, especially given all the news coverage there has been about the issues recently. I would have expected them to give it to an uncontroversial charity at the very least - and ideally one that most of their customers would like to support

OP posts:
blubellsarebells · 05/07/2020 22:27

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feetfreckles · 05/07/2020 22:28

User, what they do is tell trans people that they need treatment , that they need to be fixed, they promote hormonal and surgical procedures for transpeople. Treatment that sterilises people.

What they should do is help transpeople recognise that there is absolutely nothing wrong on having a mismatch between body and gender identify. That you can be a boy in a dress or a lesbian mechanic and that is totally fine and normal.

RedRec · 05/07/2020 22:28

@EllaEllaE

I'm not going to try and convince those of you who are already convinced that your prejudice is justified. This is the internet -- you'll always be able to find a bunch of random articles or opinion pieces that support your view. You won't be swayed from your bigotry, even in the face of science, changing public opinion, and just general human decency towards other human beings who are disproportionately victimized and killed by people who hate them for who they are.

But I guess I'm feeling increasingly ashamed of myself for just ignoring it on this site, which I feel is a community I'm part of.

The whole assumption behind this post is that 'we all' disapprove of a charity that supports trans and non-gender non conforming children and their families. There are a lot of conversations and posts on mumsnet like this that normalize transphobia. I usually ignore them, because who wants to get into an internet fight with a bunch of angry strangers? But I get a guilty uncomfortable feeling that by letting it pass unchallenged, I'm condoning it. When I let it pass unchallenged, when I could say something, I feel complicit in your normalization of transphobia.

So I'm not going to get into a fight with you or try to change your mind. If you were open to reason, you'd do that work yourself. There are plenty of resources out there on the internet, and ways to hear from trans men and women themselves.

But I do want you to know this. The prejudices you have, and the hateful things you say here on this site or in real life about trans men and women, and people who are gender non-conforming: it is not acceptable. It's also not feminism. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

With you all the way, EllaEllaE.
feetfreckles · 05/07/2020 22:28

User, what they do is tell trans people that they need treatment , that they need to be fixed, they promote hormonal and surgical procedures for transpeople. Treatment that sterilises people.

What they should do is help transpeople recognise that there is absolutely nothing wrong on having a mismatch between body and gender identify. That you can be a boy in a dress or a lesbian mechanic and that is totally fine and normal.

feetfreckles · 05/07/2020 22:28

User, what they do is tell trans people that they need treatment , that they need to be fixed, they promote hormonal and surgical procedures for transpeople. Treatment that sterilises people.

What they should do is help transpeople recognise that there is absolutely nothing wrong on having a mismatch between body and gender identify. That you can be a boy in a dress or a lesbian mechanic and that is totally fine and normal.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 05/07/2020 22:28

Judging by the queues I would guess that no one there knows about the donation and very few have ever come across mermaids before

Those aren't the only two options that there would be queues - there's just as likely to be people who don't have any problem with the donation, or support children's charities like Mermaids?
They might have a trans child themselves, want support?
Bit strange to think that it'd only because they've never heard of Mermaids or know about the donation.
As shock horror people have different opinions.

Clymene · 05/07/2020 22:29

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feetfreckles · 05/07/2020 22:29

Bit strange to imagine that most of the people in the queue have a trans child. Thought it was incredibly rare !

Le22Fu22 · 05/07/2020 22:29

If people want hormone treatment or surgery you have no right to judge them or tell them they can’t have it feet.

feetfreckles · 05/07/2020 22:30

If children want that treatment we have a duty of care to be bloody sure it's the right thing

Le22Fu22 · 05/07/2020 22:31

Can we have done links please. Not Daily Wail hate stories but links showing evidence of the accusations against mermaids.

blubellsarebells · 05/07/2020 22:31

Is it bigotry to disagree with drugging and sterilizing children??
Feminists are not hateful towards gender non conforming people, we just don't think it needs to be treated with cancer drugs.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 05/07/2020 22:32

That you can be a boy in a dress or a lesbian mechanic and that is totally fine and normal

Of course it's totally fine and normal!
Nobody's said it isn't.
Just what has that got to do with being trans?
I climbed trees, wanted to play with the boys rather than the girls, hated pink, anything so called "girly", liked boy things, I always "knew" I was a girl though.
You just know what you are.
I wouldn't presume to tell someone else what they are inside, as how would I know?

feetfreckles · 05/07/2020 22:33

A 1 second google

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51676020

HandsOffMyRights · 05/07/2020 22:33

@Le22Fu22

If people want hormone treatment or surgery you have no right to judge them or tell them they can’t have it feet.
Replace the word 'people' with 'children'. Is that acceptable?
SerenityNowwwww · 05/07/2020 22:34

@feetfreckles

If children want that treatment we have a duty of care to be bloody sure it's the right thing
Children want chocolate donuts for breakfast, a rich dad or a puppy. Just because they want something it doesn’t mean they should have it, or that it is in any way a reasonable thing for them to have.
Skysblue · 05/07/2020 22:34

@Thinkingabout1t we get so much of that too, I’ve been so shocked by how sexist primary schools are, especially the parents of girls! All young children love pretty stuff, especially with a bit of sparkle or pink, but boys get told it’s just for girls. So sad and weird.

And yes Mermaids are crazy. I am freaked out that so many people think it is ok to encourage children to warp their bodies and possibly become sterile. Whatever happened to teaching children to love and accept themselves as they are? I love to see guys in makeup / flamboyant dress, but I would love it even more if they did it while accepting that they are men and it is ok to be a man who loves sparkle, doesn’t have to mean you’re a woman.

If anyone is interested, the group Transgender Trend is doing some fantastic work pushing against the Mermaids narrative. The LGB alliance is also doing good stuff trying to protect young lesbians from told they must be transmen based on sexist stereotypes. I have no connection to either group, other than I occasionally donate to both as they seem to be rare voices of sanity. Often it seems that anyone who doesn’t think exactly what Mermaids/Stonewall tell them to think is subjected to an avalanche of hate from people ironically screaming against the ‘haters’.

(Also, did anyone else think that Daniel Radcliffe telling JK Rowling what a woman is took mansplaining to a whole new level?)

Le22Fu22 · 05/07/2020 22:35

Yes it is. Support for families and children while they explore options further down the line is perfectly ok.

Clymene · 05/07/2020 22:35

@Le22Fu22

Can we have done links please. Not Daily Wail hate stories but links showing evidence of the accusations against mermaids.
Mermaids:

"Hormone blockers stop the young person’s body changing in ways they don’t want it to at that time, in the hope it will alleviate any distress those changes may be causing them. Blockers simply give time for them to reflect; they can stop at any point and a puberty typically associated with the gender they were assigned at birth will resume."

NHS:

"Little is known about the long-term side effects of hormone or puberty blockers in children with gender dysphoria.
Although the Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) advises this is a physically reversible treatment if stopped, it is not known what the psychological effects may be.
It's also not known whether hormone blockers affect the development of the teenage brain or children's bones. Side effects may also include hot flushes, fatigue and mood alterations."

Ceto · 05/07/2020 22:35

EllaEllaE, thank you for expressing something that very much needed to be stated on this forum.

blubellsarebells · 05/07/2020 22:35

Just give the kids what they want.
My 10yo would love to drive my car around the estate and eat icecream for breakfast lunch and dinner.
Doesnt really work does it.

Ceto · 05/07/2020 22:36

@feetfreckles

Judging by the queues I would guess that no one there knows about the donation and very few have ever come across mermaids before
Or maybe they support it?
MouthBreathingRage · 05/07/2020 22:37

Just what has that got to do with being trans?

That’s the whole point, @LemonadeAndDaisyChains! Kids are being told they’re trans because they ‘like things that are for the opposite gender’!

blubellsarebells · 05/07/2020 22:38

Hundreds of people support sterilizing children with cancer drugs?
I very much doubt that.

feetfreckles · 05/07/2020 22:38

What it's got to do with being trans is that trans is an identify that does not match your sex,

What is identity? How do you express that? You can be and do whatever you want, you can be yourself totally, and express that identity totally , fully and freely without needing any treatment
, because there is nothing wrong in being trans. You don't need to do anything to prove it, you don't need to do anything to correct it. You just need t9 get on living your life as you. And if your identity is female and your sex is Male, so fucking what. Express your identity , get on with it,