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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tell me your pet peeve kind of posters!

444 replies

HurtPeopleHurtPeople · 04/07/2020 22:11

Hands down for me are the ”if this was a man asking/doing/saying/bla bla”.....
all hell would apperently break loose.

What are yours?

(Oh and let’s vote on mine
yabu- you don’t mind these kind of posts
yanbu- you dislike these kind of post)

OP posts:
tripleripples · 05/07/2020 09:25

People who type on a thread about a subject which often gets heated or divisive, (Dogs, for example) and then say at the end “and I say that as a dog lover”. So irritating and smug. We’re supposed to give more weight to their opinion because they are so much more reasonable and mature than everybody else, holding an opinion which is the opposite of what you might expect from them.

bluebluezoo · 05/07/2020 09:27

People who describe terrible behaviour by partners/mil’s/friends, then mitigate it with hormones.

“AIBU to be upset, i am pregnant/on my period so the might be why I feel like this”

zingally · 05/07/2020 09:35

Posters who drip-feed the necessary information, or who save the most important bit of info for the very end of the post with an "oh yeah, I..."

For example:

"My best friend thinks I keep hitting on her DH. I never have... blah blah blah (for 5 or 6 paragraphs) blah blah blah. We had sex once, years ago, when they were broken up."

derxa · 05/07/2020 09:37

For me, they/their DP is in full armour, running someone through in a jousting contest. Grin

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 05/07/2020 09:40

People who medicalise everything. Eg. someone is an arsehole to the OP and everyone justifies it with "maybe they have MH problems" , "they might have dementia", "could be on the spectrum".

At the end of the day, it doesnt matter. There is NO excuse for someone being verbally or physically abusive and it should stop. Also, it is possible that some people are just arseholes and dont have any diagnosis- I dont know why people seem to reluctant to admit this, that some people are just shitty, and they dont have a diagnosis to hide behind.

People who berate posters who are clearly at the end of their rope.
eg "I'm so low, I'm crying all the time and cant go on any more, DH just yells at me all day long and calls me horrible names"

"He might have MH issues- you are being incredibly unsupportive by not accepting this or trying to help him, you should be ashamed of yourself"

There is a special place in hell for those posters and I always imagine karma will smack them in the face when they least expect it.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 05/07/2020 09:47

The "No is a complete sentence" posters. Absolutely agree that you're welcome to refuse to do something, but in general if someone asks if you could possibly take their child to school as they have an 8am hospital appointment, just saying "No" without adding anything else at all is going to make you look like a rude weirdo.

IrmaFayLear · 05/07/2020 10:07

I have read the whole thread ! But a few pet hates bear repeating:

“source please” grrrr. I remember once actually citing “the source” but the source demander didn’t acknowledge it. What they really mean is “I don’t believe you and I won’t ever believe you.”

Agree that you can’t post any situation without someone excusing any behaviour because of some kind of condition. Or the OP drip feeds that they have “anxiety” which apparently is a get out clause for anything including murder. The big exception is dhs and mils who are just plain foul and must be eliminated.

“Wife work” eg “Should I send evil sil a birthday card?” receives the inevitable, “Why are you doing wife work?” Some miserable sods think if you don’t live as merely distant flat mates with your dh you are a contemptible surrendered wife.

Also those who post about dealing with demented parents and some sanctimonious git says “I would never put my parents in a home”. (Actually the same band who merrily post that every care home death is a tragedy. No it is bloody not if you’ve ever had a relative with dementia.)

pictish · 05/07/2020 10:15

No is a complete sentence. I like the sentiment but in actuality only a dick would offer a flat, lonesome ‘no’.

3cats · 05/07/2020 10:16

People who ask for Netflix recommendations. Can’t you just check the bit on Netflix where they recommend stuff to you?

People who miss vital information in their OP such as child’s age, I live abroad, he’s in a wheelchair.

People who say Balonz on child name threads or ask for a diagram in parking threads, but I’ve already been told I’m unreasonable in this.

OPs that are too short. OPs that are too long.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 05/07/2020 10:20

Also those who post about dealing with demented parents and some sanctimonious git says “I would never put my parents in a home

YES! This is a peeve of mine too because it implies you dont love them. In actual fact, if someone with severe dementia is getting up 20 times a night, wandering, putting things in electrical sockets and leaving the gas on, not to mention being verbally or physically abusive it is completely impossible for one person to watch them 24/7 and cope with all of that ASWELL as holding down a job, perhaps having kids to look after etc
You'd end up having a nervous breakdown if you tried to stay awake all night and all day to watch them. For the pious posters who claim they'd do it- have you noticed that this scenario is always hypothetical? they have never actually done it themselves - funny that!

3cats · 05/07/2020 10:24

Also, when someone says. I agree with X. I think their post is spot on.

I can never find X’s post.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 05/07/2020 10:25

People that start posts in AIBU over rubbish like “AIBU to ask what your favourite colour is”. Yes it is, put it in Chat. AIBU is for when you have an issue and not sure whether you're unreasonable to say/do something and need some opinions.

Poster who start threads then never respond to the replies. It’s irritating making the effort to help and then never hearing from the OP again.

People who say “Interesting first post, OP” over anything slightly controversial, completely ignoring the fact that it’s highly possible that people have a problem and sign up so they can ask for help.

Biscuit posting Biscuit

Andwoooshtheyweregone · 05/07/2020 10:26

When someone says I met my friend and she was distant with me and the someone posts “you shouldn’t even be seeing your friends as we are in LOCKDOWN” or any variation of that

AhBallix · 05/07/2020 10:28

In total agreement about 'no is a complete sentence'. It really isn't. It needs to be qualified if you want to maintain any sort of relationship with the person who is clearly asking too much of you. If it was so easy to just say 'no' and leave it lying there like a steaming great turd of contempt, then no one would need to ask for advice about navigating their way through the social niceties.

Macncheeseballs · 05/07/2020 10:28

Posters who don't put enough description in the title

Pelleas · 05/07/2020 10:32

Posters who don't put enough description in the title

Oh, yes, particularly people who post AIBUs with just AIBU in the title. You click on it and it turns out to be something you know nothing about at all, so it's a waste of time. Probably shouldn't encourage them by clicking but I always think it might just be a newbie and give benefit of the doubt.

IrmaFayLear · 05/07/2020 10:37

the advice to use the old stock phrases. As well as the “No.” as cited above, there’s, “Did you mean to be so rude?”

I actually tried this out on sil and she just laughed and said, “Ooh, you are touchy, aren’t you?” Which gave her even more of the upper hand...

UltimateWednesday · 05/07/2020 10:38

People with very young children who insist that the only way to deal with a teen/young adult who ever has any lapse in behaviour/consideration for others is to tell them they need to move out. As if anyone is going to throw their 17yo on the street over dishes being left in the sink.

sixthtimelucky · 05/07/2020 10:42

Posters who use the words hubby, veggies or kiddies. SHUDDER.

Overly long posts. No paragraphs. Bad spelling and grammar (yes I know some people are dyslexic, I don't comment on it).

sixthtimelucky · 05/07/2020 10:43

'No is a complete sentence'. Yes it is but it's also an extremely rude to response in 99% of cases.

pictish · 05/07/2020 10:43

ultimate - god yes. I have mentioned this as a pet peeve more than once.

“He’s a grown adult!‘

Fuck off he’s 18! He’s a kid in an adult’s body.

I have a normal 18 yr old son and he’s nothing like a grown adult yet. He’s a daft lad...and that’s ok.

sixthtimelucky · 05/07/2020 10:43

pictish I have an 18 year old. He is utterly useless in every way. Bless him.

Roominmyhouse · 05/07/2020 10:48

There are two things which I hate. People who say they were ‘gifted’ something, why can’t you just say given? And when talking about feeding a child the use of ‘offer/offering’ e.g. have you tried offering toast. Again why can’t you say give/giving. It’s very pedantic of me I know!

MoistMolly · 05/07/2020 10:48

Posters who think random Internet people will know the terms and conditions of your contract that you're querying

People who ask here first before doing even the most basic Google search

People who think just posting a Daffodil is a suitable reply (it's not and you really look a bit daft when you do)

otterlielovely · 05/07/2020 10:56

Oh that’s some of the teachers who have decided that every thread that dares mention home schooling is “teacher bashing”, isn’t it?