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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tell me your pet peeve kind of posters!

444 replies

HurtPeopleHurtPeople · 04/07/2020 22:11

Hands down for me are the ”if this was a man asking/doing/saying/bla bla”.....
all hell would apperently break loose.

What are yours?

(Oh and let’s vote on mine
yabu- you don’t mind these kind of posts
yanbu- you dislike these kind of post)

OP posts:
LockdownLump · 05/07/2020 10:57

People who start the thread with 'NC'd, but been here a long time, cutted up pear, penis beaker, Mexican house thief etc'

Like someone is gonna think 'oh I thought they were new, so I was going to offer some shit advice, but now they have proved they've been on the boards for a while, I'll give my most sage advice'

'well I've just showed DH this thread and he thinks......'

Couldn't give a fuck what he thinks frankly.

DrPatient · 05/07/2020 11:03

People who bring up completely irrelevant parts of the OP and then get mad about them. For example:
As part of the OP: DH has just got back from the GP...
Poster: If he was at the GP, he might have bowel cancer because my friend went to the GP for bowel cancer yesterday. You therefore shouldn't be mad at him for having an affair because he's under a lot of stress.
OP responds: No, he went to the GP for a routine medical exam for his job.
Poster: WELL YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THINGS YOU DON'T TELL US?!
Sounds mental but once you start noticing it, it happens all the time.

EugenesAxe · 05/07/2020 11:05

@PurpleDaisies I laughed a lot 😂 Yes, nearly gave the OP the answer she didn’t want to hear.

Anyway, I don’t know why as I know it’s trying to be kind, but any post starting ‘Oh OP.’ Sounds SO patronising.

Phew @LadyCatStark - glad I’m not the only one.

But I respect anti read and run people to be honest. It’s sending support and is a message of solidarity. I reckon many posters would feel bolstered to know that someone just cared, even if they didn’t have a solution. Each to their own though.

Pelleas · 05/07/2020 11:05

Like someone is gonna think 'oh I thought they were new, so I was going to offer some shit advice, but now they have proved they've been on the boards for a while, I'll give my most sage advice'

I think it's more to guard against a barrage of 'interesting first post OP' and 'welcome to Mumsnet'.

elephanbee · 05/07/2020 11:12

People who response with something condescending or patronising..it sometimes seems that people can be nasty for the sake of it!

MaggieAndHopey · 05/07/2020 11:15

@tripleripples

People who type on a thread about a subject which often gets heated or divisive, (Dogs, for example) and then say at the end “and I say that as a dog lover”. So irritating and smug. We’re supposed to give more weight to their opinion because they are so much more reasonable and mature than everybody else, holding an opinion which is the opposite of what you might expect from them.
hm. I think I might have done this. But! In my defence! It's more to show that if I'm being critical of a certain thing, I'm not coming from a position of knee-jerk hostility to it. But i can see how it reads your way too.
Shortfeet · 05/07/2020 11:16

ALL baby name threads

But especially the “what name goes with...(name of existing child)”

Wtf?

NotStayingIn · 05/07/2020 11:16

People who are incapable of leaving their own personal (irrelevant) situation out of their reply. Generally goes hand in hand with using it to berate the OP. Eg:

OP: 'My mother is horrible to me. I can't take anymore. Should I cut contact?'

Useless post: 'You are so lucky you still have a mother!! I lost mine a year ago and wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. I would give anything to be in your shoes.'

How is that relevant or helpful?!?! God it annoys me so much.

CooperLooper · 05/07/2020 11:18

People who revive zombie threads because they're obviously idiots. And often I wonder - what on earth were they searching for to bring up such old threads which often aren't really related to their questions?!

QuestionableMouse · 05/07/2020 11:18

@jessstan2

People who say, "Couldn't of", "Wouldn't of", "Shouldn't of", "Bored of". Those who start sentences, even paragraphs, with "So", or even, "OK so".

Greengrocers' apostrophes.

"Them" instead of "Those".

What's wrong with bored of?
LunchBoxPolice · 05/07/2020 11:21

People who say boobed - “I boobed the baby to sleep”.

elenacampana · 05/07/2020 11:22

No punctuation, the word ‘utterly’, those who say ‘mindless idiot’, extremely long posts and an over enthusiastic use of brackets to give additional details that readers usually don’t need to know.

pictish · 05/07/2020 11:26

questionable - it should be ‘bored with’.

MaggieAndHopey · 05/07/2020 11:26

The starting sentences with 'So' phenomenon does get on my nerves. I started noticing it a year or so ago (not just mumsnet, everywhere, particularly radio interviews and podcasts). There was a time when I wondered how it wasn't annoying everyone as much as me, but I think I'm getting closer to a place of acceptance now.

MaggieAndHopey · 05/07/2020 11:27

I think 'bored of' is fine, it makes grammatical sense even if it's more of a recent construction. It's not like the other examples.

Russellbrandshair · 05/07/2020 11:28

Poster: If he was at the GP, he might have bowel cancer because my friend went to the GP for bowel cancer yesterday. You therefore shouldn't be mad at him for having an affair because he's under a lot of stress.
OP responds: No, he went to the GP for a routine medical exam for his job
Poster: WELL YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THINGS YOU DON'T TELL US

Yes I’ve noticed this a lot too. So much projection going on in threads. People picking on one tiny detail and then creating an entire fantasy back story and even when the OP says no, that’s not what happened, they are ignored and told they must be lying because that exact scenario happened to the posters friend/neighbour/SIL and therefore OPs situation MUST be exactly the same and couldn’t possibly be different

IagoWithABlackberry · 05/07/2020 11:30

"Here, fixed it for you" when they rewrite something a pp has written. Not because the fixer is wrong but because they sound like a patronising arse.

And the ones who write like an eleven year old who's just got their first phone. When there are lots of "lols" but no punctuation at all. There's usually a surplus of "babes" and "Huns", which I have no issue with in real life but when they're written down non ironically it just smacks of someone determined never to grow up.

IrmaFayLear · 05/07/2020 11:33

I agree with poster upthread who said it was becoming like Twitter, with mobs.

Someone posts, "I saw my ds's teacher on Bournemouth beach" and suddenly there are masses of teachers (are they even teachers?) posting daffodils and bellowing REPORTED THREAD! etc etc. Same with other contentious subjects such as Meghan & Harry.

How do people even find these threads? Is there some kind of blanket search "mobs" can do so they can send out a clarion call?

3cats · 05/07/2020 11:35

I have to admit I do love it when people misuse “literally”.

My head literally exploded.

I literally said no.

It was literally my dog.

derxa · 05/07/2020 11:36

Posters who begin 'Hi everyone!' just scream troll to me.

Llamazoom · 05/07/2020 11:36

The hatred for second wives or step mothers.

Source??? I find that aggressive for some reason.

HTH Written at the end of a post I don’t like either.

Grammar police, I’ve seen a few threads by a woman asking for help, their spelling and grammar isn’t perfect and you can guarantee within the first 5 posts someone will correct their spelling, some replies to these threads are not as kind as if they had been written by someone with better spelling.
Not everybody has had a decent education, do these women not deserve good advice rather than be pulled apart. Some of these women are vulnerable who have nowhere else to turn.

Pelleas · 05/07/2020 11:38

'Thought not' is an annoying one, as in:

Poster A: I think flights for holidays should be banned due to climate change.
Poster B: I suppose you don't drive, don't have kids, live in a hut without electricity and are a vegan. Thought not.
Poster A: Actually I've been living in a self-sufficient vegan luddite childfree commune for 20 years ...

Shinyletsbebadguys · 05/07/2020 11:40

I've probably responded a few times annoyingly so I am not remotely claiming to be innocent but I'm also a grumpy sod so here's mine :

Passive op (with the exception of domestic abuse where it is not so easy to leave) where they post something like their neighbour being loud but then it transpires they have hidden away guiltily complaining behind curtains , or a friend who is doing whatever annoying thing this week and the OP has not said a sodding word and just takes it. Fine if you don't like confrontation what the hell do you expect everyone to suggest . Ffs get on with it and deal with your crap. Ergh either put up or shut up.

Anyone who shoehorns their agenda of choice , especially those who have to correct gender v sex every single fucking moment . OP may be posting about a really delicate issue and some twat comes along and corrects their use of gender or their vote choice....I always wonder if they realise they are doing damage to their cause by being an insufferable twat and , I always want to tell them to bugger off fussy knickers (and imagine their head explode at the variety of non feminist wording)

Oh and the assumption that every man ever is having an affair. Now granted some of them clearly are but twice I've seen where he actually really was buying her a present. Or it was a totally innocuous act that even the OP was clear was an innocent thing someone always claims an affair. Now I'm totally in agreement that there are cheating bastards out there and firmly believe they should have their metaphorical and social arse handed to them but not every single moment of every single man's life is about having an affair.

To be fair I'm a pain in the arse myself so haven't a lot of right to bitch , but its MN so since when has that stopped any of us Grin

Doggybiccys · 05/07/2020 11:43

People who start with “see”........See, I think differently to you.......

People who think the second your DC turns 18, you stop doing anything to help them. Ditto their partner ..... why are you ironing your DH’s shirts/cooking you DH’s dinner.....when the thread was nothing to do with that. In my world, families help each other out!

Boireannachlaidir · 05/07/2020 11:48

@YgritteSnow

I'm finding MN becoming more and more like Twitter every day. The shaming and exaggerated disgust at alternative views or opinions and there is a slow but steady creep towards attempting to "cancel" posters as far as it's possible to do that on this forum. I know this is said regularly but it was never like this before. It could get heated for sure but the discussion would continue and would often educate. Opinions are now presented entirely as fact and if you don't agree or if you question even mildly, you're immediately labelled a worthless bigot of some kind. I find it really worrying. It's everywhere now.
Exactly this.

Arguing with angry people online n