Sister bought house and didn't tell me

[IndieRo]

So got a what's app picture from my sister last night with a picture of her new home. We speak most days so I was shocked and hurt that she never mentioned it. She said due to Covid 19 they didn't know what was happening but it's a brand new house so obviously viewed it and got mortgage before Covid-19. I'm just really hurt. Am I being unreasonable to think she should have told me.

My sister is like that, I think she thinks I'll be jealous - I'm not sure why, but I guess she projects her insecurities in me?
Another sister is the opposite and she asks my advice and shares things in her life.
It definitely helps keep us close.

Why are you going to step back? This sounds like you're punishing her for not telling you, when she has every right not to.

Would you be happy for her if she told you about it or would you be reminding her you think she should leave her DH?

Unless that's a different sister, of course

I'm stepping back because in hindsight her treatment of me at other times has been poor. I've always stood up for her and blamed our childhood.

If as the pp said, you do think she should leave her husband, perhaps that's why she didn't tell you until the purchase was complete because she feared you might have a lot to say about them buying a house together?

@SchrodingersImmigrant, different sister and I didn't say for her to leave her DH. Not that it has anything to do with this post.

I imagine that throughout covid chaos she had no idea if or when the deal and the mortgage would go ahead; or if the whole thing would fall through.

So that may explain why she said nothing.

Yeah that's quite strange if you are close. Why keep it from you?. I'd be incontinently ranting on about every twist and turn.

her treatment of me at other times has been poor.

How? Because to be honest the whole thing is just coming across as petty.

@TheGroak Completely agree. Every time OP says anything I become more convinced that she's the problem here. I've never seen anyone so adamant that they're a perfect and flawless human being. In my experience, if you're that certain you're perfect, usually you're a terrible person in denial.

OP your relationship with your sister sounds rather codependent.
You say she's needy, clingy, overbearing and draining and yet when she FINALLY tries to be independent and leave you alone for a bit you dont like it and call it "sneaky". You cant have it both ways!

Its possible that we enjoy unhealthy relationships because they are familiar to us. So, even though she was annoying and clingy, you secretly enjoyed that and felt needed by her and so now you feel like youve been slapped in the face when really, this was probably the healthiest thing she could do. Step back and give her and yourself some space. Its fine to be close but it sounds like you are so enmeshed in her life that you find it insulting that she is doing anything independently.
People's roles change. Maybe she will no longer be your clingy sister and thats not a bad thing!

To be fair, the OP would know.

OP I hope you can find some peace with this.

"Surprise!"
"Wow that's amazing, so happy for you"
Move on.

My DS moved to USA in September (her husband was posted over there). First I knew of it was an Xmas card from Norfolk Virginia.

For the people saying I'm the problem I'm not. I have given very little back story. I've taken care of my sister since she is 5. It's not a normal sibling relationship.

It’s very odd. Surely if you talk every day, you discuss your worries, especially with family?

A friend sold their house and bought a new one half way through June and I found out through another friend just yesterday, even though I’d spoken to ‘secretive’ friend only last weekend.It’s bizarre and says such a lot about the friendship/relationship you thought you had.

Has she told other people?

Our "mother" is back on the scene after years of being absent. Sister thinks she's great, I know the truth.

FFS all the horrible comments! Op is hurt and she's entitled to be.

@finished31, thank you so much. I'm really getting a battering

She posted it on Instagram just before she told me. I'm not on Instagram. My Aunt told me., thinking I knew.

How on earth is she "entitled" to be hurt?

@Kelsoooo

How on earth is she "entitled" to be hurt?

Everyone is entitled to their emotional response

Do you think your mother is influencing her negatively to try to drive a wedge between you and your sister? How come your mum is suddenly back on the scene and more importantly, what do you think she wants?

Yes she wants to drive a wedge between us. Everytime she surfaces this happens. Im there since since sister is 5 years old. Our mother is a narcissist, left me to look after her children when she split up with our father.