Children camping alone in garden - AIBU

[UserA]

A close friend has asked if my dc, aged 10, 12 & 13 would like to camp in her garden (socially distanced of course!) with her dc, both aged 11 - but alone, with the parents sleeping in the house. Apparently her dc have done it a few times over lockdown. I was fairly surprised and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with mine sleeping outside alone. We both have fairly large gardens which aren’t particularly enclosed, as in not backing onto other houses as such. Recently there have been some sexual assaults/flashing episodes in the area, which makes me even more uneasy.. dc obviously annoyed that I haven’t agreed! So, AIBU - would you agree to them camping out alone?

Sophie’s murder was not “crap.”

We live in the sticks - some 1 mile to the nearest house and a village another mile beyond that. There are a few footpaths that cross the heath but no footpath comes within half a mile of our house. Our drive is about half a mile long. We have several night vision cameras out to take pictures of the nocturnal wildlife, but you would be amazed to know that around 2-3 times a year they pick up people in our garden, up the farm track and cars parked at the top of our drive where it opens out into fields. A mix bag of shaggers, fly-tippers and those who are just checking what we have. For that reason when we do camp outside, it is mid-summer, the dog is with us and the night sky has to be clear.

Given that there have been sexual assaults in your area, then no I wouldn't. Otherwise I'd allow it.

As there is a gang of them, eldest 13, yes I would be happy with this.

Bedroom window open, back door open, al of them in one tent, all fine.

Mine sleeping their own tents from about 9 or 10 when we went camping.

Personally, of course I would allow it....I can't understand people saying they wouldn't. The kids are 11, 12, 13, not 5 years old.
When we were young my sister and her friends would often camp outside and our garden was over an acre in length so they were far away from the house. It never occurred to any of us they wouldn't be safe.
I think it's so sad these days that parents are unable to give their children freedom and responsibility. If such things are so dangerous these days, it is a very sorry state of modern society....

mine do loads.

In the scenario you have posted there are a big group of them.

Give them whistles so they can quickly call for help if it makes you feel better but really I think at that age I wanted to give my kids some freedom.

I wouldn't let them. I wouldn't want to camp there either, it's like sleeping with your front door unlocked.

I wouldn't be happy with that. Could an adult pitch a separate tent in the garden and sleep out too?

When mine were young we used to have an extra one man tent for either me or my dh to sleep in next to the dc’s tent. I wouldn’t have slept in the house anyway if my dc had been outside on their own.

I remember Sophie Hook even though it was years ago. My H knew Howard Hughes's father and a lad I worked with had known Howard from where they lived
I would never let kids camp outside without an adult bein g present in the tent

I had a bit of a fall-out with a friend over a similar situation 20+ years ago. My daughter, 9 at the time, was invited to camp out at my friend's house for her daughter's birthday. A large, unenclosed garden. I said no, my friend ridiculed me and my DD was so upset, but I just couldn't do it. It wasn't that long after the Sophie Hook case. My argument was, would you leave your life savings in a tent outside, and if not why not?

Jesus - there is no way I would allow children to camp alone anywhere - in the garden or elsewhere. It’s just far too risky.

Would you leave your mobile phone in a tent in the garden overnight? An IPAD?

I think when you answer that question, you have your answer to whether you would leave your child there.

Sleeping in a tent on a campsite is a risk for the same reason. Even if you are in the tent you won't necessarily be able to protect your child from harm if an intruder is determined. You just need to decide if the risk is acceptable to you.

Personally I would give them a mobile phone and let them get on with it.

@wherethewildthingis

Would you leave your mobile phone in a tent in the garden overnight? An IPAD?

I think when you answer that question, you have your answer to whether you would leave your child there.

I wouldn’t leave my iPad on a bus but a lot of 12 year olds bus to secondary school.

I'm on the fence with this. I wouldn't allow a 10/11 old to camp out alone, but I probably would allow a group of teenagers. That said, we have security lights/padlocks on the gates and I would probably sleep with the window open to listen out for them.

I think that's one of the things that's impossible for anyone to answer.

I allow mine to camp in my garden because it's very secure, they've camped a lot with us and I trust them to be sensible

They were never allowed to camp in PIL's garden because it wasn't secure enough. They wouldn't be allowed to camp in DD1's best friend's garden for the same reason

Similarly DD1 was allowed to camp out younger than DD2 because she's much more sensible

I’m from Llandudno, so for that reason I eon’t be letting my dc camp out.

I wouldn't go to bed and leave my house unlocked so no, I wouldn't leave my hypothetical child sleeping outside. And absolutely not when there's been a spate of assaults.

Even if the risk of abduction/assault is low I'd be concerned about intruders frightening them. I've generally lived in very nice areas but even then I've witnessed more than one burglar in neighbour's gardens. I was unsupervised in a friend's home at 8 and no adults present when burglars broke in. It was terrifying.

Yes children need independence but they can achieve that without sleeping outside.

5 children aged 11 - 13? Yes I would. Not sure in fact that they would be in more danger than one adult, or an adult with a younger child and think most would agree to that.

I say no to my 11 year old sleeping out on her own but think I would agree to it in a couple of years.

The only reason I'd say no would be if any of the children were not trustworthy enough to stay in the garden. Otherwise I think, with 5 of them, it's fine.

did this as a child - before 11 because we moved to a house without a garden on my 11th Birthday.
No less risk than being sexually assaulted compared to being inside the house.

I think 11-13 is about the age that I started to do this either with my younger brother or a couple of friends/neighbours of a similar age. I don't know if my parents ever gave it a second thought as we were often out roaming the fields all day without telling them where we were going (and no mobiles then). It was just an extension of that. I think I would be ok with my kids doing the same from about age 11 along as there was a reasonable sized group of them and not just 2 or 3.

It would depend where I lived. Instances of sexual assault in the area certainly not. But if it felt safe then probably.Not at the far end of a massive garden.

Never heard of Sophie Hook.

I used to camp outside from around the age of 13-14 with a friend. Garden was fully enclosed.

I think IF a garden is enclosed it's fine. If it backs onto public space and tents are visible, not it's not okay.

I would think that 2 x 10 yr olds and an 11 and 13 yr old together would be fine, but surely at the moment that would be 4 tents?

All in one big tent would be safer.

I'm too scared to camp out with my kids let alone then camp out in the garden alone! And my garden is quite secure