Husband won’t lend daughter uni money

[meme70]

My Daughter is due to start uni she heard from the accomadation today and they want a Guarantor or she has to pay £6000 upfront which she didn’t see this before she applied -
So my husband has a decent amount of money and I have a little his daughter lives with us and I have brought all her clothes and needs for 6 years and I do everything for her she had to come live with us and I have had a lot stress with her mum and Social services but I’ve always stood by my husband and her and I do all the washing cooking cleaning gardening diy pay all the bills we pay 1/2 each although he earns lots more than me.
My daughter would pay back the loan with her student maintence loan but he won’t help at all.
So now I’m wrestling with I’m hurt yo well it’s his money etc

Id do anything for my children he just doensy so much for his own Daughter so I suppose why would he do anything for mine.
I’m wondering if we are too different to have a lover Marriage we have had - then it is his money so I wonder is my heart ruling my head ?

wow I couldn’t get over this. I’d start calling him Eboneezer.

@Murraygoldberg

Can you not be her guarantor? If not you, your husband? I think asking him to pay upfront £6000 is excessive and I wouldn't do it for my dc or expect my dp to either

He has lots money

But he expects me to buy all his child’s needs clothing uniform do all her washing cooking h cleaning for 7 years
Has to work both ways ?

Don’t let him ruin her life. Insisting she travel via ferry and I’ll cause untold stress.

God, the greedy arse hole.
My Nan used to say, there’s no pockets in shrouds!

@66redballons

Don’t let him ruin her life. Insisting she travel via ferry and I’ll cause untold stress.

The ferries cancel regularly so she would miss lots tutorials and work ? She would get the sack

@PinkiOcelot

God, the greedy arse hole. My Nan used to say, there’s no pockets in shrouds!

Well I’m not being the door mat he has walked all over anymore He can loo after himself and his daughter now I’ve done 7 years of clothing then and all the washing cooking cleaning paying bills decorating gardening diy and working He does nothing for anyone

Actions speak louder than words

Take notice

@ExhaustedBeyondBelief

Actions speak louder than words

Take notice

I 100% agree Told him many times

Love is doing not saying

He is money mad addicted to work and doenst see it as a problem

Divroce him

Take your 50%. Thenr yoube got plenty of money to give your DD 6k

Honestly this would 100% be LTB territory for me, he has 190k of savings, expects you to buy his daughter clothes and wont lend your DD a penny or be her garuntor. How much have you spent on his DD? Bet that adds up to 6k..

I would divorce him.

Honestly this is not an equal relationship and you arent a family.

Dont waste anymore of yours or you DD life having him around.

Ducks in row! Get all the bank statement you can possible look at forensic accountant if you think he would go to extreme

Does anyone else care for your step-daughter or is it only you? I feel sorry for her if her mum can’t care for her, her dad is working all the time and leaves her step-mum to meet all her care and financial needs (though I’m sure you’re doing a great job with her).
What is your relationship like with her? (Sorry I know that’s off topic a bit I just feel bad for her having two useless parents).

@DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon

Divroce him

Take your 50%. Thenr yoube got plenty of money to give your DD 6k

Honestly this would 100% be LTB territory for me, he has 190k of savings, expects you to buy his daughter clothes and wont lend your DD a penny or be her garuntor. How much have you spent on his DD? Bet that adds up to 6k..

Sorry what LBT mean ?

He will hide all his money if he think I want a divorce and fast

Yes this is why I’m hurt I thought if you lived someone wouldn’t you do what you can for them like I have him ?

I’m beyond hurt I expect nothing he’s not giving he’s lending

His ex has abused and threatened me as she has drinks. D drug problems I’ve had social services I mu house because of that and his daughter - his daughter is rude to me but I still stand by him
I ask him for nothing yet he expect everything from me

@Maybe83

I would divorce him.

Honestly this is not an equal relationship and you arent a family.

Dont waste anymore of yours or you DD life having him around.

I have 3 daughters one is 25 has children lives away and I’ve a 15 years old and uni one is 20 he done nothing for any of them ever in 7.5 years

Get bank statements, all of his from to-day, all of yours for past 7 years, then go to a solicitor. You will need all this info as otherwise you will have to pay a forensic accountant to find the information when he hides the money.

Are you renting and if not, is the house in both names?

@Mosseywossey

Ducks in row! Get all the bank statement you can possible look at forensic accountant if you think he would go to extreme

He has it all over the pace tbh he knows what he’s doing I asked to have our money ina joint account incase anything happens to him he ignores me or says yes and never acts on it

LTB is leave the bastard.

It's not easy to hide money. Courts are aware of men who attempt this. You can't simply hide £190k.

@AIMD

Does anyone else care for your step-daughter or is it only you? I feel sorry for her if her mum can’t care for her, her dad is working all the time and leaves her step-mum to meet all her care and financial needs (though I’m sure you’re doing a great job with her). What is your relationship like with her? (Sorry I know that’s off topic a bit I just feel bad for her having two useless parents).

Her mum is clean atm so she sees her now but I’ve done more for his daughter than her mum or dad and she even says that herself

She’s rude to me hates anyone with her mum or dad so it’s been more tha draining

I suppose she’s angry that her parent don’t do what I do I can see this but I get the hostile emotions

You keep saying he will hide the money, just get proof he has the money such as a screen shot of his back statement or a paper one and then if it does disappear the second you ask for a divorce he will have to explain where it has gone.

@Annasgirl

Get bank statements, all of his from to-day, all of yours for past 7 years, then go to a solicitor. You will need all this info as otherwise you will have to pay a forensic accountant to find the information when he hides the money.

Are you renting and if not, is the house in both names?

Rent in my name we are trying to have a house built all my savings are in the land for this house so I’m screwed financially if we split up

@BlessYourCottonSocks

LTB is leave the bastard.

It's not easy to hide money. Courts are aware of men who attempt this. You can't simply hide £190k.

Well cash is easy to hide

@workercovid

You keep saying he will hide the money, just get proof he has the money such as a screen shot of his back statement or a paper one and then if it does disappear the second you ask for a divorce he will have to explain where it has gone.

He has cash and some in his bank other in betting accounts

So he’s just generally sit at caring for anyone else then op. In all honesty it doesn’t seem like you have anything to loose by divorcing him. You get nothing from him now anyway.

I do agree with a previous post that suggested giving him and invoice for the care/clothes etc you have provided for his daughter.

He has £190k in cash???

You do seem determined to shoot advice down. Stay with him then.

It's not her daughter, it's his. There are professional guarantor companies (overseas students use them). Don't know if that's an option. I would call the halls. Unite are always difficult though, uni owned halls are better.