What’s most OTT response you’ve ever seen on a thread?

[MalcomTuckerisMyIdol]

(LIGHT HEARTED)

Just that really.

I think my favourite was fairly recently - CV related and one of the first responses to was “You dh is literally trying to kill you” (along the lines of not wearing a mask in the shops).

Just spotted one on the DH doesn’t believe children should do chores. Fair enough it’s an odd position, but apparently you’re ‘stunting their development’ if they don’t have chores. Seems a bit dramatic

I had a miscarriage and a bit of disagreement with my husband about having another baby and I was really upset so I posted on here and someone went on a rant about how it wasn’t environmentally friendly to have another baby...I just kinda thought hmmm not really proportionate to my issue

Any time there's a post about an encounter with someone rude or unpleasant you can 100% guarantee there'll be responses along the lines of "maybe they were autistic, maybe they had just lost their mother, maybe they just lost their job". Yeah maybe, but also maybe they were just a dick.

Yes. EVERYTHING must have a caveat.

Aibu to think spaghetti are THE best?
Please note I understand there are people who cannot eat them due to health issues like allergies, lack of hands to hold fork, deadly fear of strings, once choked on one, cannot afford them, cannot find them in a shop at the current climate, can't cook them, have dog who is scared of them and takes week to calm down after spotting one, had traumatic experience such as spaghetti stuck to a ceiling, were attacked by spaghetti monster and just generally don't like spaghetti, so please feel free to ignore my LIGHTHEARTED post, I don't want anyone to feel bad

30 seconds later: My cousin 7x removed hanged himself with spaghetti. You are disgusting, OP, to bring them up.

@likeacrow "how old are they? It looks like early set off dementia, you know you should buy them chocolate and apologise. Obviously you annoyed them so they ended up screaming at you at throwing things"
🤷🏻 It's always dementia...🙄

OP: My teenager leaves the lights on when he leaves a room.
*
Poster: Sounds like he might have autism. Have you had him tested?*

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Oh, I've just remembered ffs how could I forget the devil's advocate posters.

'Just playing devil's advocate here, maybe you weren't actually trying to help an ungrateful friend but are actually a psychopathic stalker hell-bent on harvesting her organs'.

What? Playing the devil's advocate means to take a position in a debate that you don't necessarily agree with in order to further understanding of the topic. It doesn't mean 'invent batshit stories for your own amusement' .

A long time ago I once posted about being pissed off with my sons best friend who’d basically dumped him for a girlfriend and the friends mother actively encouraged it. It pissed me off.
I got flamed. ‘YOU ARE OVER INVESTED’ ‘YOU ARE A DANGER TO YOUR CHILD’ ‘YOUR CHILD IS SELFISH AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIS FRIENDS HAPPINESS’ ‘YOU AND YOUR SON ARE POTENTIALLY PUSHING THIS KID TO COMMIT SUICIDE’ ‘BOYS NEED TO LEARN THE HARD WAY’ ‘YOU SHOULD BE REPORTED TO SOCIAL SERVICES’
Didn’t expect that. Thread eventually got shut down

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Yes. EVERYTHING must have a caveat.

Aibu to think spaghetti are THE best?
Please note I understand there are people who cannot eat them due to health issues like allergies, lack of hands to hold fork, deadly fear of strings, once choked on one, cannot afford them, cannot find them in a shop at the current climate, can't cook them, have dog who is scared of them and takes week to calm down after spotting one, had traumatic experience such as spaghetti stuck to a ceiling, were attacked by spaghetti monster and just generally don't like spaghetti, so please feel free to ignore my LIGHTHEARTED post, I don't want anyone to feel bad

30 seconds later: My cousin 7x removed hanged himself with spaghetti. You are disgusting, OP, to bring them up.

You need the caveats because otherwise you get 500 posts complaining about the potential limitations of spaghetti. Though I suppose you get those anyway.

There was a thread about an unordered pizza being delivered. People were telling the OP not to eat it because it might have been poisoned.

A bit too much Midsomer Murders there, I think. Unless OP was really a soviet spy...

Another classic was an OP who let one of the rooms in her home on AirB&B (greedy landlord bitch). Due to the nature of her house the listing was NO children! A woman booked it. Fine. Then said she had a toddler. The OP said no, cancelled the booking, money refunded. The woman showed up that night in the taxi, toddler in tow, demanding entry. The OP said NO, the woman kicked off and a neighbour called the police, who had to compel her to leave.

You'd have thought the OP was the Devil Incarnate among the competitive virtue signallers! I'd have let them in (free of charge), given them a hot meal, she might not have had enough nappies or food, you left a woman alone with a toddler alone on the streets of London!, where has kindness gone?

It was MN batshit gold!

OP: My ex dropped the kids back an hour later than planned. Response: Go No Contact

I love the competitive undereating replies on some food & diet related threads. If someone posts that they never eat breakfast, the next poster will say that they never eat breakfast or lunch, the next will then be horrified that the previous poster had something innocuous like bread in their one meal.

There’s also always posters on food related threads who claim NEVER to eat any snacks, of any kinds, between meals. Which seems unlikely to me - so no birthday cake at parties ever, not even any fruit etc

On The Doghouse 10 years ago I posted that I was getting my puppy at 6 or 7 weeks because the mum had ripped her belly open running under a fence to chase a cat. She was in the vets and would be there for a few nights, she needed surgery and wouldn't be able to feed the pups. The vet said to go ahead and let the pups go early.
Well fuck me it went mental.
Basically my dog wasn't being socialised properly and taken away from mum to early, (as if we weren't aware of this )
I was told that my pup would grow up to be aggressive, untrainable and would probably attack, and possibly kill, my DDs.
At the moment she is lying on the sofa on her back farting. We haven't been ripped to shreds yet but any day now..

Oh and on one totally innocuous thread someone replied to me and said that I was a terrible mother to my DDs and she hoped they died of cancer because that would teach me a lesson.

The best barmy eating thread ever was the woman who’d had a jacket potato in Morrisons cafe for lunch, while her husband had had a massive all-day breakfast. When she said she was still cooking a roast that evening as normal, he’d said ‘But I’m not that hungry after all that food!’ She’d pointed out that he had a wife and children who might want to eat.

Most people rightly replied that he was being an arse for only considering his own appetite and that the OP should make the roast. But a vocal minority chipped in (well, jacketed in I suppose) with ‘Hmmm... a jacket potato and then a roast... that’s masses of food, no?’, and ‘It makes me so sad to think of all that yummy food going to waste because you won’t be able to do it justice’. The most ridiculous was the poster who kept arguing that cooking a roast was defeating the whole object of having a ‘treat lunch’. It’s a fucking potato!!

Although the OP was in great form on her responses. She told treat woman that she had an idea of what a ‘treat lunch’ was, and it did not involve sitting watching Sharon on till four do a price check

You need the caveats because otherwise you get 500 posts complaining about the potential limitations of spaghetti. Though I suppose you get those anyway

Definitely need the caveats. I posted a lighthearted thread on style and beauty about missing botox during the lockdown and put a caveat in stating that I knew it wasnt REALLY important in the scheme of things, and I know people are dying. If I hadn't, I can say without a doubt the first response would have been:

PEOPLE ARE DYING YOU SELFISH BITCH

Just remembered another one. A few years back an OP was annoyed as her DP had drawn a flower in permanent marker round their baby DDs belly button for a laugh.

Loads of posters saying how it wasn't just childish and daft and not funny AT ALL but child abuse and humiliating the baby. One persistent batshit poster who claimed to work in child protection kept coming on to say it was common for paedophile rings to draw on children before filming abuse and the OP needed to report her DP to SS and the Police and leave him otherwise SS would remove the child.

And there was a thread when that Korean correspondent on the BBC had been video-bombed by his children coming in while he was live on TV. All these threads about how the nanny (which was his wife, so...nice racist assumptions there) looked petrified and was probably being abused and how the extremely confident little girl who stomped into the room actually looked nervous, and how the Dad who was stifling laughter looked so furious and cold and they were concerned about the families safety.

Here's a link to the aftermath with one thread starter thinking it was funny. The other threads were batshit crazy and offensive and deleted because of it. Including the thread titled 'does anyone else think this is really sad to watch'.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2874632-AIBU-in-thinking-the-news-shouldnt-be-this-LOL-funny

Coco

The competitive undereating threads are hilarious. I'll add a subtype- the "If you are X height, what do you weigh?" threads. There are so many gangly mumsnetters of 5'11" and eight stone soaking wet!

@SnugglySnerd

I am also amused by the vulva pedants.

Clearly stressed op explains how she has a painful lump on her vagina, she's worried what it might be, can't get a go appointment for 2 weeks etc. Obviously in need of some reassurance and kind words.

First post "you mean your vulva, not you vagina"

Read this as vulva pendants. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Just remembered - someone said to me I shouldn't expect to be able to speak to my friend in the playground after school for 2 minutes without her 10 year old daughter interrupting.

Apparently this poster never once spoke to any adult at that time, her entire focus was on her child and she would never have any interaction with anyone else. It was BonsoirAnna and I do hope she is ok and still being as batshit.

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

You need the caveats because otherwise you get 500 posts complaining about the potential limitations of spaghetti. Though I suppose you get those anyway

Definitely need the caveats. I posted a lighthearted thread on style and beauty about missing botox during the lockdown and put a caveat in stating that I knew it wasnt REALLY important in the scheme of things, and I know people are dying. If I hadn't, I can say without a doubt the first response would have been:

PEOPLE ARE DYING YOU SELFISH BITCH

If I could afford Botox, I'd be off to have it like a shot, pun intended! My forehead looks like a fucking OS map and I'm only 49 (thanks, Dad, have the exact same 3 long creases in it).

If I could afford Botox, I'd be off to have it like a shot, pun intended! My forehead looks like a fucking OS map and I'm only 49 (thanks, Dad, have the exact same 3 long creases in it)

Awww - the responses I got were mainly "Thank God its not just me but ive been afraid to say it!" 😆 It did go a bit crazy at one point early lockdown where if you dared to post about anything except covid you'd get called callous, uncaring and a selfish bitch who doesnt care that people are DYING.

There was an excellent food one a couple of years ago where the OP and her DH were disagreeing about whether "a sandwich" constituted 1 or 2 slices of bread, and wanted it settling. So many posters professed horror at the very idea of eating 2 entire slices of bread's worth of sarnie in one sitting, had never heard of such gluttony, no wonder there's an obesity crisis etc etc, while everyone else was - er - have you never had a meal deal?

Loving this thread.