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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have a clue what I did wrong?

206 replies

Stationclare · 29/06/2020 20:40

Back story
Inexperienced driver, not massively confident, but getting there.
Journey to work is horrible. Inner city. Dodgy aggressive drivers.
There are a few routes that i can take but I take the shortest and most familiar. There is one part I hate.
Anyhow, I always stay in the left hand lane but at this one part there are sometimes parked cars so I move to right hand lane. This was the case today. I indicated and moved over.
Next thing I heard police sirens behind me. I thought shit.
Did I do a dodgy manoeuvre? I didnt see the police prior to this btw.
They then moved into the left lane next to me. The officer driving, mouthed at me " are you fucking stupid?".
Well I feel fucking stupid. Now im thinking was he trying to get past and i Didnt let him out and didn't pay attention as i was too busy trying to keep safe on that dodgy road.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 29/06/2020 22:29

I think you were probably going too slowly in the right or middle lane, thus obstructing the police car. Maybe the red car had seen them and was moving over just as you pulled out?

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 29/06/2020 22:32

If the police car was able to pass you on the left then you clearly hadn’t returned to that lane when you should have done. If you didn’t see the flashing blue lights in your mirrors then you weren’t looking... they can be seen from a long way away, that’s what they are designed for. An emergency vehicle on blues and twos will often stop at a red light to ensure it is clear to proceed safely especially is the vehicle on their right has already been seen to drive a bit erratically. The officer may have been referring to the “fucking idiot“ they were driving to while having their head turned to you trying to see if there was traffic approaching OR you could have blocked their view of the road to the right thus making it dangerous for them to proceed with haste.... in which case you are an idiot.

Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 22:35

Yes maybe budge.
I'm always in the left . In only briefly moved right due to the parked cars.
I'd have then gone back left just before the traffic lights as it was clear then.
Thinking maybe when police came up behind me when I'd then done nothing wrong but expected me to then move left(once past parked cars) and I didnt
(Flummoxed by police as I'd have moved normally soon as I could). Then police were left of me so too late.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 29/06/2020 22:36

I dont have to be a professional lip reader though to see a person in the car next to me look directly and say something.

Sorry, but I think you are talking nonsense here.

I lip read because I have some hearing loss. I'm not perfect, but I stood in front of a mirror trying to work out how I could be sure of that phrase, and I don't think I could be.

I accept if you had said you were hearing impaired and relied on lipreading, you might be so much better than me, and able to.

But frankly, you sound as if you just want to create a fuss about rude police.

morethanafortnight · 29/06/2020 22:38

Lesson learned here - you don't just need to be aware of the car immediately beside or behind you, there needs to be an awareness of other vehicles as well.

Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 22:40

Bugger. Yes the point I saw the police behind me was probably just approaching the point is have gone back to the left lane.

I'm thinking now they were flashing and sirens for me to move and I didn't. Don't know why I didn't as I normally move straight back left the minute I can.
Make sense now I think.
I suppose I.was thinking what a previous poster said that he could have just moved left without me moving.

OP posts:
Gogogadgetarms · 29/06/2020 22:41

Something similar happened to me once OP. I had this big riot van behind me when I was driving through a bit of London I don’t know. I stopped at the traffic lights (it was red). When I did this they put the lights and sirens on.
My first thought was to move out the way as they must be attending an emergency. I pulled forward and then over to the left to allow them to pass (it was safe to do so). As they drove past me, the officers on the left hand side of their vehicle wound the windows down and started gesturing and yelling. I don’t know what they were saying as my window was up but the gestures were ‘get out of the way’ type signs.
I had no idea what I’d done wrong. I moved through the light as quickly as I could (as soon as they put their lights and sirens on) but slowly as the light was red. At first I wondered if they were yelling that I went though a red light? Then I wondered if they thought I didn’t move quickly enough?
To be honest I still have no idea. It made me feel a bit nervous afterwards and doubting my actions but I don’t see what else I could have done. They definitely didn’t have the sirens on or lights on before I stopped at the red light because I’d clocked them a while back. I’ll never know for sure and neither will you OP.

Chalk it up to experience.

Nottherealslimshady · 29/06/2020 22:42

You need to take some more driving lessons. Doesn't sound like you're a safe driver.

Wearywithteens · 29/06/2020 22:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 22:44

Sarah I do not want to make a fuss about rude police!
Bizarre thing to say

I have had no experience of arsehole police before so certainly no gripes the police force whatsoever !! I know he was an arsehole though.
I am just genuinely upset at myself really for doing something unintentionally whilst driving to make a policeman so mad.
I'm thinking am I that bad a driver?!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 22:46

weary who said I did that?
I indicated and waited for the red car to hold back and let me in.
He didn't indicate he was annoyed and no one beeped me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 22:49

Gogo
Sounds similar to my experience.
The police must have been a car or two behind but no.lights or sirens till they came directly behind me. That's why I thought I'd done something wrong. I don't think I had at that point, but by not moving quickly back left (like I normally do) I then did do something wrong as they wanted to go past me??

OP posts:
Lightswitches · 29/06/2020 22:51

Yes, from what you've said now I think they would have expected you to notice their sirens earlier and then pull back into the left lane ASAP.

Yes police can and do drive around ppl but usually people pull to the left to let them pass.

SarahAndQuack · 29/06/2020 22:52

Well, ok, you are making a fuss about rude police.

You've mentioned it multiple times and refuse to accept you might have been mistaken, despite admitting you don't notice things around you.

YouokHun · 29/06/2020 22:59

I mean, drivers that don’t pay attention and nearly cause accidents

That’s all of us @Nicknacky; we are all capable of making mistakes when we are driving and perhaps the most dangerous drivers are those that think they’re faultless or invincible.

OP, the best thing you can do is drive that route as soon as you can and keep doing it. The enemy of confidence is avoidance. I’ve recently started sitting with my learner DD (it’s terrifying tbh), I now realise just how much time on the road improves the ability to anticipate other road users’ behaviour and possible hazards. These are skills my DD is just learning and will keep on learning after she passes her test. Even 36 years after I passed my test I’m perfectly capable of making the same mistake as you. It’s the day you stop giving a shit about how you drive that someone needs to take your car keys away.

As for the police; not professional but there’s not much you can do about it. Certainly don’t allow it to affect your confidence - I’m sure that policeman has done his fair share of errors at the wheel too.

Nicknacky · 29/06/2020 23:00

I’ve never said I’m faultless, hell no! But I’m as vigilant as I can be and any driver that said they don’t make mistakes is a liar.

But a good driver accepts their mistakes and should learn from them.

YouokHun · 29/06/2020 23:02

@Nicknacky I was quoting you but not saying you were positioning yourself as faultless - sorry if it sounded like that!Grin

Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 23:12

I'm learning from my mistakes.
Yes I'm new to driving but I think I'm careful and safe .
I accept I did something wrong today but rightly or wrongly I'm not a 100% certain exactly what it was. And I know that's bad and the worst drivers are the one as no have a clue that they have made mistakes!!
I did something to make the police officer mad though. I'm not police bashing as I have absolutely no reason to.
But I am shocked that he was so mad (not rude-i can accept that- but mad)with a female driver who wasn't dangerously driving(I'm pretty sure) but probably didn't get the cue to move outta the way. I will know next time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 23:14

Since driving myself though now and not just being an oblivious passenger. I see more unsafe driving than safe.
Like the bloke who overtook me on a 20 mile residential street.
Barely any room for single file let alone overtaking.

OP posts:
MilerVino · 29/06/2020 23:23

To be honest I still have no idea.

Was there another police vehicle and they were trying to warn you? IME where's there's one police car there are often 1 or 2 others so after letting one past it's as well to keep an eye out.

OP just checking mirrors isn't enough - learn where your blind spots are. Maybe you made a mistake, but just learn from it. Even the most careful drivers do make mistakes sometimes, the important thing is to try hard to keep them to a minimum!

Original poster
Stationclare · 29/06/2020 23:33

I'm learning all the time. I know i will make mistakes. Normally I know way they are though and normally they don't involve the police!!

OP posts:
RB68 · 29/06/2020 23:34

I think the only thing you did wrong was not have enough awareness of what was in your review mirror - the police siren would have been get out of my way as they were stuck behind you and yu dithered about moving back over. Do you have a P plate if not I would get one for a bit

Nicknacky · 29/06/2020 23:35

Not all forces have in car recording.

eaglejulesk · 29/06/2020 23:41

I think you are looking at this the wrong way OP. Obviously you did something wrong, possibly dangerous. It sounds as though you are a very nervous driver, and maybe were too busy concentrating on what you were doing and not enough to other traffic around you. Whatever the case presumably the police officer swore because he was frustrated with you - move on and let it go, it's happened and is in the past, not worth stressing over. In future just make sure you pay attention to everything happening around you and hopefully it won't happen again.

DollyDoneMore · 29/06/2020 23:49

@Stationclare

Nicky You are probably right. Nudge thank you. Has knocked my confidence though and im worried about going that route again now. I perhaps didnt get out of the way when i was meant to? But ive never had the police behind me before!! Plus its bloody ironic that the first time I see the police they are involved with me when the dangerous driving in that stretch is astounding.
Your own driving sounds dangerous. You don’t sound in control or to be aware of your surroundings.