Please help settle a disagreement

[Isthisoveryet]

Hamper bought for a Christmas present. Not huge but special food and value of about £40, very nicely presented etc. We didn’t see the recipient over Christmas but gave it to their close family to pass onto them (they live a 30 min drive from each other and see each other fortnightly). We recently found out that the recipient has only just received the hamper (six months after giving it to the original family member to pass on).

I think this is a bit odd and careless to leave it so long. DH thinks I’m looking for the worst and it’s very normal. We’re not doing anything about it and I’m not overly bothered by it, just we came to loggerheads when I mentioned that it was odd.

I’m basically wondering if I’m the odd one because DH is pretty upset that I think it’s unusual

Yes its weird. Is all the food still in date?

Of course it isn't normal to withhold a gift you were supposed to pass on 6 months ago!! Stuff prob out of date now!!
Your dh is weird op!!
Were his dps the criminals here and he is defending them??

It's VERY unusual. They see each other fortnightly, so - quick and dirty calculation - they've had 14 occasions at least to pass this present on.

Clearly they forgot to do it.

Why is he upset?? Seems an over reaction about a difference of opinion!

YANBU though about the hamper. 6 months is a long time

Very weird for them to only pass it on now. YANBU

Presumably they couldn’t pass it on in the last few months because of lockdown? So I’d discount the 6 months and call it 3 months. They probably put it away safely so it was out of sight and meant they didn’t think about it.

Very weird. They should have at least told you they couldn’t pass it on quicker.

It is a bit unusual.But given everything I can totally see how its happened so not necessarily too odd.

Forgetting entirely the first time, the second remembering and saying 'oh so and so bought you a gift at mine, I'll bring it over next time'

The oh damn I forgot again / came straight from work and didn't remember to pop it in the car this morning.

Miss a visit, then lockdown... suddenly its June and oh goodness is this still here!

I still have Easter eggs for my one set of niece/nephews...I saw one of them and managed to get them theirs a month or so a go, but the other set are still sat here as we've not had opportunity to go...

Yeah I can see that there’s likely an honest mistake behind it, but it’s the lack of explanation that I find strange. There’s been no mention of the fact it was so delayed and it’s very much been presented as ‘normal’. Having said that, my DC has just received a birthday present from a member of that family 7 months late - so it perhaps is their normal!

Yeah that’s weird. I’d be suspecting they used the hamper themselves and have only just got round to replacing it.

I would assume they had forgotten and really would not give it much more thought. Tbh I hate having to pass on presents to people.

Hasn’t 3 of those months been in lockdown?

Isn't this just a difference of opinion? Your opinions on this both seem reasonable, just different.

If they had it in time for Christmas, they had 3 months of normality, and around 6 visits. Lockdown didn't happen till mid March!

I'd be irritated too.

Was it all still in date?

Technically two months in lockdown as I know they were seeing each other late March and early June. But yes, I know this may have hindered things and they might not have thought to drop a food hamper on the doorstep.

I’m happy to accept difference of opinion and that families do things very differently. DH says that me being stubborn though. Which is what led me here.

We were given presents at Christmas to pass on. We wouldn’t see the recipient until Easter normally, which obviously we couldn’t do.

It is what it is, and I look at the presents still stashed in my conservatory and think ‘well you should’ve posted them if you were that bothered about it’.

At the end of the day it’s a nice thing to offer to pass them on but I’m not Royal Mail!

Very annoying unless they live at South Pole. Who wants Xmas pudding in a heat wave? Complain

bitterly.

Well you know what to do for next time OP.

Are you in direct contact with the person who the gift was for?

As I cannot imagine giving someone a hamper and then hearing nothing from them. I've given a few out over the years, and there's always something mentioned about them. Never mind a quick thanks for it, or some acknowledgement.

Families do things differently

Wtaf?
Nobody I have ever heard of denies someone a chosen gift in the correct bloody season!!

I think your husband is crackers (and if there were any of those in the hamper, they’ll be stale by now). Whoever was supposed to pass the hamper on still had three months to do it before lockdown hit. I can understand you might forget once or even twice, but surely after the second time you’d make damn sure you remembered. And it’s a hamper for Christ’s sake; not a card or a voucher where you might just misplace the envelope. Who loses a hamper?!

It’s pretty odd.

Now you know that they’re not up for passing on presents though so next time just pay for postage.

I’m going through a bad marriage break up and haven’t responded to some texts I received over 6 months ago.

You never know what’s going on in people’s lives.

Odd if they see each other regularly (assuming one person is driving to the others home, and no humping the hamper around on public transport) as your say, lockdown, but even not to get around to it by mid-March is odd.
I'd be a bit frustrated, but make sure I delivered it myself next time, or had it delivered directly to them by the supplier.

However, I'd eat christmas pudding at any time of year (maybe not last weeks heatwave), and crackers do last one year to another - Christmas is often just my sister and I, and boxes of six is often the smallest.

At least eating christmas pudding in June, the recipients will remember your gift more than if they'd had it on time!