Please help settle a disagreement

[Isthisoveryet]

Hamper bought for a Christmas present. Not huge but special food and value of about £40, very nicely presented etc. We didn’t see the recipient over Christmas but gave it to their close family to pass onto them (they live a 30 min drive from each other and see each other fortnightly). We recently found out that the recipient has only just received the hamper (six months after giving it to the original family member to pass on).

I think this is a bit odd and careless to leave it so long. DH thinks I’m looking for the worst and it’s very normal. We’re not doing anything about it and I’m not overly bothered by it, just we came to loggerheads when I mentioned that it was odd.

[MintyMabel]

In normal times it would be odd, but have they actually seen each other much with the lockdown and everything?

We see MIL regularly but some stuff happened jan/ feb which meant we couldn't see her then covid hit and we couldn't see her still. So we haven't seen her since before Christmas.

[FilledSoda]

I suspect it was a protest at being asked to pass it on , did they seem happy to do it?

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

Maybe use it to your advantage op. Buy sale stuff in the summer. Wrap in Xmas paper... Perfectly serviceable gifts for when they arrive in June!!

[canigooutyet]

Do lots of people send gifts to the helper to pass on?
Could be they are fed up playing postie all the time and rather than have that chat, are doing it this way to make a point.

[TeddyGizmo]

I used to send gifts for my Dad to my brother and SIL.
I live abroad and it was easier as they would see him.

I learnt on one visit back to UK that the Xmas gift I sent one year had not been given to him for 6 months. In fact, they gave it to me to give to him.

I stopped doing it after that.

[RuggerHug]

Did the ones you gave it to for passing on know there was food in it? If it was wrapped up in a way that it wasn't obvious I'd be more forgiving but if they knew and let it go to waste eaten it themselves then I'd be annoyed.

[Tistheseason17]

I would not expend any further energy on this, OP.
The recipients have the hamper.
It is only worth arguing about if the gift was not received.

Have you checked the contents had not been substituted!? That would be a whole new thread!

[Isthisoveryet]

This family member has previously been a bit ungrateful about presents (which is why we thought a hamper was a safe bet and not something they can ask to be returned), so didn’t think anything of not hearing that they’d received it. They did message to say thanks a couple of days ago, which is how we know about the delay.

I know there will be an innocent explanation. I don’t think they’re evil hamper hoarders. It just isn’t something that would happen amongst my family or friends, and if it did there would be some explanation.

[longtimecomin]

I used to give my dad a load of Christmas cards each year for his family who all lived close to him. I lived 200 miles away and hoped to save on postage. Turns out he never handed any of them out. Some people are just a bit rubbish.

[longtimecomin]

We'll lockdown means about 3 months of no meeting. They probably just forgot earlier in the year. Some people have a lot on.

[MagicMojito]

I dont know, I've still got xmas gifts that I've forgotten to give out and I've seen the would be recipients numerous times since xmas.

Some people like me are just a bit shit 🤷‍♀️

[Bluntness100]

I’d imagine it was just timing and they forgot the last time they saw each other. I’d very much doubt it was done deliberately and they thought oh I know, I will give them that in June.

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

Odd if they see each other regularly (assuming one person is driving to the others home, and no humping the hamper around on public transport) as your say, lockdown, but even not to get around to it by mid-March is odd.
I'd be a bit frustrated, but make sure I delivered it myself next time, or had it delivered directly to them by the supplier.

However, I'd eat christmas pudding at any time of year (maybe not last weeks heatwave), and crackers do last one year to another - Christmas is often just my sister and I, and boxes of six is often the smallest.

At least eating christmas pudding in June, the recipients will remember your gift more than if they'd had it on time!

[excuseforfights]

I’m going through a bad marriage break up and haven’t responded to some texts I received over 6 months ago.

You never know what’s going on in people’s lives.

[RedRed9]

It’s pretty odd.

Now you know that they’re not up for passing on presents though so next time just pay for postage.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

I think your husband is crackers (and if there were any of those in the hamper, they’ll be stale by now). Whoever was supposed to pass the hamper on still had three months to do it before lockdown hit. I can understand you might forget once or even twice, but surely after the second time you’d make damn sure you remembered. And it’s a hamper for Christ’s sake; not a card or a voucher where you might just misplace the envelope. Who loses a hamper?!

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

Families do things differently


Wtaf?
Nobody I have ever heard of denies someone a chosen gift in the correct bloody season!!

[canigooutyet]

Are you in direct contact with the person who the gift was for?

As I cannot imagine giving someone a hamper and then hearing nothing from them. I've given a few out over the years, and there's always something mentioned about them. Never mind a quick thanks for it, or some acknowledgement.

[YaWeeSkitter]

Well you know what to do for next time OP.

[tara66]

Very annoying unless they live at South Pole. Who wants Xmas pudding in a heat wave? Complain
bitterly.

[Spandang]

We were given presents at Christmas to pass on. We wouldn’t see the recipient until Easter normally, which obviously we couldn’t do.

It is what it is, and I look at the presents still stashed in my conservatory and think ‘well you should’ve posted them if you were that bothered about it’.

At the end of the day it’s a nice thing to offer to pass them on but I’m not Royal Mail!

[Isthisoveryet]

Technically two months in lockdown as I know they were seeing each other late March and early June. But yes, I know this may have hindered things and they might not have thought to drop a food hamper on the doorstep.

I’m happy to accept difference of opinion and that families do things very differently. DH says that me being stubborn though. Which is what led me here.

[ArchbishopOfBanterbury]

If they had it in time for Christmas, they had 3 months of normality, and around 6 visits. Lockdown didn't happen till mid March!

I'd be irritated too.

Was it all still in date?

[dudsville]

Isn't this just a difference of opinion? Your opinions on this both seem reasonable, just different.

[Gulabjamoon]

Hasn’t 3 of those months been in lockdown?