To ask about nakedness in front of dc

[Whatafustercluck]

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

[formerbabe]

My husband hates wearing clothes in the house, he used to strip off as soon as he got home and would often be found lounging around naked

This is just so odd to me. Why not wear a pair of pants?

[Jeremyironsnothing]

Probably time to stop wandering round the house naked but I've never stopped them coming into my room and there is every chance they will see me naked then. That's their choice then. They can knock, just like I've knocked at their doors from about that age, if they are embarrassed.

My philosophy is that it's good to see normal bodies and as long as I don't impose myself on them, then it's fine for them to see me. As an older teenager ds would often come into my room, cover his eyes and say "ewww". Well don't come into my room without knocking then, doughnut!

[Meredithgrey1]

I have a 5 and 2 year old, I'm never ever naked in front of them

What age did you stop? I mean, I'm assuming you were naked in front of them as newborns/small babies? I'm just interested when you drew the line as it seems quite young based on the other responses.

[SandieCheeks]

My oldest is almost 10.
I don't wander about naked, but if he comes into my bedroom or bathroom while I'm getting dressed or showering then he sees me naked!
I'm not ashamed of my body and the kids aren't embarassed.

[20viona]

My daughter is nearly one and me and her dad are never ever naked in front of her.

[CaveMum]

There’s a world of difference between a child walking in on a naked parent/seeing a parent in the bath/getting dressed and a parent “forcing” their nudity on a child or putting them in awkward situations like purposely walking in on them while they want privacy/commenting on their body.

Have a read of this thread. The first few issues raised by the OP could be seen as appropriate in isolation but the later points, and the list as a whole scream abuse www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3951456-Inappropriate-Father-Daughter-relationship-TRIGGER?pg=1

[midnightstar66]

My husband hates wearing clothes in the house, he used to strip off as soon as he got home and would often be found lounging around naked

I mean, I have no issue seeing nudity but I'm afraid I'd insist on underwear before sitting on chairs or lounging on sofas 😬

[StoppinBy]

Our daughter is 7.5, son is 3. We all often rotate through the shower one after the other then get dried in the lounge all together.

I can't see my daughter becoming uncomfortable any time soon, he would happily live naked I think lol.

[SandieCheeks]

@20viona

My daughter is nearly one and me and her dad are never ever naked in front of her.

How do you manage that? Never take her swimming? Only shower or dress while she's asleep? No breastfeeding?

[SeagoingSexpot]

Christ, O for the chance to not be naked in front of my DC. Any closed bathroom or bedroom door will be practically broken down so they can stare creepily at me in the shower

[greentreesdream]

I’m also personally a bit uncomfortable with these children who just walk in on their parents having a bath or shower.

It’s not that this bothers me, but I can’t speak for everybody, and especially if there are other children in the house. Is your eight year old DD going to be as comfortable as you are with her ten year old brother barging in and out when she’s having a bath?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

My husband hates wearing clothes in the house, he used to strip off as soon as he got home and would often be found lounging around naked

This is just so odd to me. Why not wear a pair of pants? confused

It’s odd to me too

[golddustwomen]

6 yo girl and 3 yo boy here and they see me naked a lot. When running into my bedroom of a morning, showering, getting dressed etc. To be honest they take the piss and laugh at me!

[CherryPavlova]

I’m curious how people who are very uncomfortable with bodies help their children understand normality?
How do they understand periods if they haven’t known their mother has them?
How do they cope with adult relationships if their not comfortable being naked themselves?
How do they learn to differentiate between normal nakedness and perverse sexual displays? How do they learn the difference between good touching and bad touching, if nobody touches?

I agree that learning about adult bodies through media sources is very unhealthy. Learning about anatomy and physiology within a loving family where adults have wobbly bits, uneven breasts, body hair and blemishes has to be better, surely?

[birdwatching]

I have a 5 and 2 year old, I'm never ever naked in front of them

goodness

My 12 year old DD sees my regularly naked when I come out if the shower. it's a none issue. But I also come from a country where we go naked to sauna, have nude beaches. I always found that the Brits are particularly squeamish about it - unless it is about showing your every bit in a skimpy outfit on a Saturday night

[notalwaysalondoner]

I don’t have dc but my parents were very open until I started telling them that I wanted to get changed alone/them to stop. I was probably about 9-10 but I reckon girls are probably more self conscious and bodily aware than boys at that age. My dad probably stopped being naked in front of me a couple of years earlier, thinking about it. But anyway, I don’t think it’s a big deal and there’s no right answer, id just start gradually phasing it out. If you think he isn’t the kind of child to proactively start being more “modest” (for want of a better word) you can always be open and say “Now you’re nearly 10 it’s time that we start closing doors when we’re getting changed”. But it is up to you - some households people carry on being naked around each other forever, and it’s not weird or wrong as long as nobody is uncomfortable.

[Baaaahhhhh]

I grew up in the 60's with fairly old parents and three older brothers. Everyone in the household was relaxed about nudity. Popping in and out of bathrooms and bedrooms in various states of undress.

I was not bothered by nudity, and can't understand the argument of lack of nudity teaching children to beware of naked strangers. Being naked in a family environment is completely and utterly different from seeing a naked stranger.....one does not match the other as being normal or acceptable.

We are a no closed doors, no nudity worries family. Children take their cues from parents. If you have issues with nudity chances are you will pass that to your children, if you don't, they will be more relaxed about it too.

[Italianmoma1983]

Mine are 13 and 16 and I’m always naked - it’s my body not something vulgar I should hide at any cost !

[20viona]

@SandieCheeks never breastfed. Never needed to Shower in front of her?! Yes course we go swimming (pre covid) but you can get dressed without being full On butt naked together.
Just a personal preference I always felt awkward if I caught an unintended glimpse at my mum topless etc so it's just the way we are. Nothing weird!

[greentreesdream]

I think I managed to understand periods without ever seeing ‘evidence’ of my mothers!

[Natsku]

Its not abnormal for him to not be uncomfortable yet, DD is 9 and isn't uncomfortable, but the fact that you're questioning it suggests that you are starting to get uncomfortable with it so that's a good reason to put an end to it - it should be ended when either party feels uncomfortable, whether its the child that feels uncomfortable first or the parent, it should end as soon as one of them does. Use ending it as an opportunity to teach him about boundaries.

If DD doesn't start to feel uncomfortable about family sauna by the time she's 10, I'm going to just end them anyway and just go alone with DD or she can go by herself, while OH goes with DS.

[BMaman]

We only have a daughter so a little different to you. But in my head it'll play out for us the same way it did in my home growing up as I never felt uncomfortable or like there was an issue.

I stopped going in the bathroom if my dad was in the bath as soon as the idea seemed weird to me. I can't remember what age. He respected me the same level. I think it becomes quite obvious once a child is shy about there body and that's when we'll let her have as much privacy as she needs.

My mum and I never got to that, we still chatted to each other while one was in the bath throughout my teens. So maybe DD and I will be the same, it's totally up to her.

Our DD is clearly nowhere near that yet, she's not fussed about anyone's nudity at all at home and we'll leave it that way.

There's a girl in her class who didnt know penis' existed. I think being naked around your kids saves so many conversations. She's knows she'll get pubes and boobs and that men look different.

[formerbabe]

I'm not a prude and I don't lose the plot if my dc walk into my bedroom and I'm getting changed or we go swimming and have to change in the same changing room, but neither dh or myself walk round naked or leave bathroom doors open.

Like I said, my parents were fairly liberal and I found it revolting. Wouldn't have occured to me to tell them that, though looking back I'm sure they would have stopped if I had told them. Don't always assume that children will tell you they're uncomfortable.

[CaveMum]

Just this morning I was lying in bed with DS (3) (Both of us in pyjamas) as he’d decided to join me at 5.30am. When we both woke up at 7am I stretched and he pointed at my underarms and said “What’s that?” while prodding my stubble 😂 I simply told him that grown ups had hair in their armpits and pointed to the downy hair on his arms and said “you’ve got some too”.

How will children learn what is “normal”/natural if they never see another body and ask questions?

I’ve lost count of the times both of mine have prodded my wobbly tummy and asked if there’s a baby in there 🙄😳

[GracieLane]

I don't just walk around naked, but my bathroom doesn't lock and nor does my bedroom. Oldest is 7 not even thought about it really. We don't have to have a talk about hair growing, breasts developing, periods, those questions have all happened and continue to happen naturally, the difference between male and female bodies. I don't lie to them I just make it age appropriate