How exactly do you know your child is top of their class

[shadesofsun]

As per the title, I am curious as to how so many parents claims their child is top of the class, so who tells you that?

Are teachers really telling parents this or giving a hierarchy of where the children sit?

[quote BrieAndChilli]@Milicentbystander72 you might have a point if someone though ALL thier children were top of the class. I have 3 children - only 1 who is “top of the class” academically. My other 2 are average but have thier own talents and skills which are arguably more useful and will stand them in better stead for real life!
Surely by your reasoning I would think all 3 of my darling children were top of the class!!!! In my experience people who tell others in real life that thier children are top of the class don’t have top of the class children. Those of us who do actually have that advanced child don’t brag about it in real life and only discuss it on anonymous forums like mumsnet[/quote]
Yes, agree with this. The only person I discuss it with in real life is the mother of the other boy who is as able, as she's a really good friend, because any sort of discussion with anyone else would come off as bragging. And she also isn't the bragging sort so I am sure I'm the only one she talks to about it as well.

My ds teacher said he was in all the top groups at patents evenings. Before this my ds has told me who is in his groups, I can gauge from that he was higher up in terms of ability as I know those children are bright. During home schooling he gets almost everything correct. Other parents have told me their child has talked about how good ds is at x in class. I think you can just tell, it's not hard to tell where they are in the grand scheme of things.

Dd comes out with harder reading books than others in her class, she got a book with words earlier.

This 'top of the class' stuff is such crap. Everyone always thinks their child is top of the class.

No they really don't. Most parents are well aware that their child is not top of the class.

OP, you don’t really know and it doesn’t really matter.
If parents think their child is top of the class and it makes them happy, why not? It really doesn’t hurt/affect anyone else. Except maybe other parents who are seeking confirmation that their child is head of the class!

This thread exhausted me.
A thousand people boasting about how they knew their child was a genius.
How absolutely riveting. Avoid the rest of us please.
I thought G&T was a drink and I'd need a stiff one after hearing this level of bragging
One of the many reasons I removed my dc from the private school they attended, nobody spoke to you unless it was to compare piano levels or to ask where they did their Saturday tutoring.

Genius doesn't equal good person. Or rich or most importantly, happy.

If parents think their child is top of the class and it makes them happy, why not? It really doesn’t hurt/affect anyone else.

It may well harm the child, someone once recounted to me how terrible their teenage years were because so much of their identity was tied up in being "top of the class". They were extremely bright, very good at the job I worked with them at, great in so many ways, but obviously even with all that there's no way you can remain "top of the class" beyond primary school as more and more specialists who care so much about a particular subject that no-one can compete.

Yet it took them too long to realise they, and they burnt themselves out trying - simply doing more work outside school to try and keep up in them all - leaving non-school things suffering. The person still became a brilliant adult deserving of their talents that I knew, but they said that they struggled.

Maybe it was nothing but internal that the "top of the class" had become their identity at 12, or maybe it was the parents, peers, teachers and adults around who'd given them that impression?

One of the important messages to give children who are top of their class when they are young, is that they may well be a big fish in a small pond (I don't mean in importance terms), but one day they will end up a small fish in a big pond. That day might be secondary school, college or university. It's reassuring as it means there will be more people like them, but also can reduce the feeling of being special now and then losing that when they are older.

Sir, if the child needs to keep being the top of the class by doing extra work outside of school to keep up, it's different kind of top of the class some of people here are talking about. So I can see the harm in parents claiming their child is top of the class and pressuring them to achieve, when they are just slightly above average. But if that gives child a confidence and reason to work harder, then it's not totally wrong either.
And there's children like mine or yours, who doesn't need to work hard to be the top of the class. Though we tend not to use the term top of the class.

I have two bright children who sit at the top level tables (kids are very good at identifying what level they are at from who they sit with and what work they are given) and I have one child that is academically years ahead of his peers. All of his teachers have told me this but I can see what he is like compared to his peers. He has a natural curiosity and ability to learn that is very different to his siblings. He applied for special courses in a college which had entry tests and his results show he is a significant way ahead of his peers.
His friends all comment about how smart he is and he has won the maths and Irish award every year since he started school.

The worst thing about it is that he if often lazy as he doesn't have to work in school. He can fly through the work in 5 mins and then he gets bored and starts chatting to his friends and gets in trouble for distracting them. Unfortunately most of his teachers don't give him challenging work and expect him to sit quietly while the others finish.
He also finds it difficult to persevere at things he isn't naturally good at like sports so that is where we focus our efforts.

A thousand people boasting about how they knew their child was a genius.
How absolutely riveting. Avoid the rest of us please.

Shocker. Poster asks how people know their child is top of the class, posters reply telling OP how they knew. Question is, why are you here?

Or maybe the whole point of the thread was to have a jeer at parents who have bright kids and revert to anonymous forums to be able to discuss issues arising? If so you're on topic and we're not. I like to give OP the benefit of the doubt of assuming they actually wanted an answer not just to be mean to people.

@blackbear19, it is disgusting. We did point out to headteachr our dfc has represented England at disability cricket. Has played at Lord's indoor centre and Edgbaston indoor centre and plays for Warwickshire who are holders of cup having beat Oldham in 2019 final which he had a day off of school to play and we emailed school picture of DFS receiving the cup. Schools answer they want all children to get prizes and especially older children who have not won a prize before. They said DFS was always winning trophies and cups as they had seen images we sent in on regular basis. We sent in image of DFS child receiving Aquathlon trophy for winning Staffordshire Aquathlon series as he won one event and was second at other event, do winner overall. They ignore the 8 hours of cricket training he does every week and the 3 hours of swim training and he runs 8 miles each week for general fitness training. We had enough and from September he will be attending a different special school where competition is encouraged.

Wow what an achievement caringcarer. He sounds really dedicated. I'm sorry school haven't properly appreciated him.

@lazylinguist

This 'top of the class' stuff is such crap. Everyone always thinks their child is top of the class.

No they really don't. Most parents are well aware that their child is not top of the class.

I have 2 DC. One is top of the class. One of them isn't. It is true!

I honestly don't know how anyone can know for certain. My son's year group has 300 kids. 60 are in the top set for each subject. My son is in top set in all subjects. He is bright but I highly doubt he is top of 60 kids who are all equally bright. Thise boasting about how your child is top of tne class in primary just wait untill secondary 😂they really will be a small fishing in a very large pond and even if they are in top sets they are there with 60 other equally bright kids.

I’ve been a teacher forever, I’ve never implied a child is top or bottom of a class.
Whether they were at the expected level for their age, or not, yes.

I think parents hear what they want to hear. That has been my experience.
To a pp saying their child must be one of the highest fliers in a class and they had a reading age of 10 at age 8, I wouldn’t actually say that is very high at all in my experience, it’s actually quite usual (sorry!). So scores like this can be very misleading.
And being good at decoding words is very different to comprehending and inferring from a text.
Similarly, with reading and maths tests, these do not measure intelligence, just the skill of passing a test. So really if your child scores highly in astrophysics, they are probably not the cleverest, they may just be better at answering the required test questions under test conditions.

To be fair I’ve always said I wouldn’t want a child at the top or bottom of the class- too much pressure and to many disappointments lay ahead for these children. Average joe is the thing to aim for. They are usually the happiest children and it’s staggeringly obvious.

Cringing at the posters coming here to tell us proudly their child is top of the class because
It’s obvious
Teacher told them
Reading war and peace in reception
Saw the list at parents evening
My child completes my tax self assessment and they are only in year 5 AND born in August so....

Please take your bragging and thinly veiled smugness to facebook and count the likes on whatever variation of “my child is a genius/photo of their report”. It’s cringy, it means nothing unless someone can point me to the data that says children who are top of the class are more likely to be kind, honest and compassionate as adults. Also no one other than you and maybe a grandparent actually give a shit.

(My kids are 3 years and a 7 month baby. No idea whether they will be top of the class or not yet but the baby can’t crawl so not bothering with her uni saving fund).