How exactly do you know your child is top of their class

[shadesofsun]

As per the title, I am curious as to how so many parents claims their child is top of the class, so who tells you that?

Are teachers really telling parents this or giving a hierarchy of where the children sit?

I was told in reception that my now 9 year old was the benchmark for the school. And the same at nursery. But I would prefer she was happy as she is extremely highly strung and likely to burn herself out.
It frightens me but I don't actually know what to do about it.

Tunnocks, is he really enjoying the book? If he really understand and appreciate the book, he is the real thing. But if he reads it only because he can, then he is exceptional at decoding, could be good at things like maths, but not necessarily good at literacy.

Also the top of the class children are either 1/30 in one form entry, or 2 /60 in 2 form, or 3 /90 etc. Not that uncommon if you think about it.

In my DD's primary class, there was a boy who was extraordinarily academically bright. You just knew how clever he was by the way he spoke, his hobbies, extracurricular activities etc. But as far as I know, he followed the same lessons as the rest of the class (I suspect a few extra challenges) until about Y5 when he was given stretch tasks and a few others worked in a group with him. So those few children were obviously somewhere near the top of the class too.

They're in Y7 now and amongst a bigger pool of talent, so apart from streaming, it's less easy to tell their 'ranking'. And to be honest I've stopped caring where DD sits as long as she's reaching her potential. The other children have their own parents to worry about it for them.

Honestly, I was a mum that worried about whether DD was top or near top. I've now realised that It really, really doesn't matter.

Remember that the teachers may think someone is 'top of the class' and get it wrong, and may think that someone is 'bottom of the class' and get it wrong. SATs in year 6 and entrance exams to selective schools were very interesting to me, as they didn't consistently map against how teachers had set the kids in class. The 2 Kids who were used to being 'top of the class', and had been tutored, didn't get into Tiffin or other selective schools as expected. Two kids who hadn't been tutored and were not widely seen as 'top of the class' did get in. My DS, who the teachers for two years had been saying was almost innumerate and was bottom of the bottom table for maths in fact got on the high side of the 'expected' range in his maths SATS. I do find that narratives can be formed around certain pupils, whether good or bad, and they are hard to shift even when evidence doesn't back them up. Or, a child can do very well in a very certain environment (how a particular teacher teaches, or some other quirk of the class) and this doesn't actually translate to wider academic success.

Urgh!
It’s makes no difference where your child is!
Teach them to be nice, kind decent human beings please, job done!

It's not a big deal being top of a class, it's not a value judgement, it doesn't mean they still will be the next year. But yes we do often know, whether we want to or not, if our child is. It probably isn't phrased like that, more able, ahead, working at a different level, always finishing first, giving them different homework to stretch them. It's really obvious sometimes, particularly if at some stages a child is working a long way ahead and it's causing problems the teacher calls you in to talk about.

My DD is smart, she is super organised, sails through her work, always does everything herself. Gets concepts easily, very emotionally intelligent too and an ability to concentrate and a desire to push herself but she is only seven. She is at a very good school and since she has been home learning, I can see she is ahead.

My DS aged 9 is incredibly brainy and a sort of mad professor type in fact I would say he is more academic than my daughter but very reserved and emotionally a bit immature, he reads all the time on a wide variety of issues, discusses current affairs eloquently, his maths teacher said he is very talented but he frequently reads under his book during lessons. His vocabulary and logic are surprising. I hope it he continues to flourish he flies a bit under the radar at the moment.

I dont really care where they sit in the intelligence level of the class. My son is a quiet boy but can converse very well if he has a topic to talk about. He got full marks in his Y2 sats because he retains information well. My eldest is very mechanically minded and he is good at sport. My youngest has lovely writing, excellent at art and karate and her sense of humour is fucking awesome for a six year old!

Top of the class is often the worst place to be.
It reduces resilience.
I sailed through school, top of the class. It taught me that I was naturally clever and didn't have to work that hard because I found everything fairly easy.
I crashed big time when things got more difficult because I had no idea how to cope with no being able to do things easily.
When I didn't come top I lost interest.

This makes me laugh!

Over the years I’ve listened to many parents saying this and that about their little darling being a very clever, top of the class gifted whatever...

My son bless him couldn’t hold a pencil properly and was so shy the teacher made him cry by shouting at him :( one teacher told me he would never be an academic but could do well in construction (cheeky bitch!)

He smashed his GCSEs and A levels got a 1st degree in politics and has just completed his first masters in international politics

I’m smug as fuck now of course!! ;)

Nothing they do such a young age matters you are only as good as your last exam sad but true!

In secondary school, the giveaway is the set. Very few schools now teach core subjects in mixed ability groups. Thus, if your child is in Set 1 out of 10, and predicted top grades, the old A/A star, now 8 or 9, they are clever. In primary, reading age and maths ability are good indicators.

My DCs have always been very bright. Their teachers (& written reports) will tell me that they’re ahead of where they need to be and that they’re exceeding targets. The target grades show the average for their school and nationally, so I can see where they are in relation to others their age.

Teachers are always telling me how amazed they are by the DCs’ vocabulary, general writing/critical thinking skills etc. I’ve had phone calls from teachers to tell me how well they’ve done on a particular project etc. I’m sure they say similar to many parents, but I always comes across that they are very impressed/surprised at the level at which they’re working.

My DS’s GCSE English teacher said that he was better at English than she is, and that she’d gone on a professional development course for teaching A-level to make sure that she was up to scratch to teach him . So I think it’s safe to say that he’s doing well.

Nobody has specifically said “your DCs are in the top ten per cent” but with predicted As and A*s its obvious they’re up there.

I take no credit for this btw - they are independent learners and self motivated, so while they may have my genetic input, they don’t get a lot of practical input.

• predicted grades are obvs in numbers these days - 8 or 9 I think! But I always ask DS to translate into old money as I don’t get it

Other posters said the same. My experience during primary school was that the teacher would ask me to help other students after I had finished the work. That's a good approach by the teacher.

My brother's teacher just kept giving him more work to do, more sums or wtv. What ended up happening was that he got sloppy. He would try to finish everything as fast as possible, wasn't that the idea?

Regardless of your child's ability, do remember that school is nor only about doing the academic work. Do make sure the teacher is helping your child do work "in the proper way" and becoming a rounded human being

“I'm happy if my child is happy“

I haven’t RTFT - but this sentence tells me you’re an excellent mum.

I spent my childhood with my mum constantly pushing me to do better, be better, be the very best - to the point where I made myself literally ill worrying about exams and papers not getting perfect grades.
That’s no way to raise a child.

In primary school it's pretty obvious, especially if it's a very small village primary school like ours, where you know all the kids. Dc tell you which book band others are on compared with them, what they got in tests compared with the others etc. In secondary it varies anyway, because you rarely get kids who are top of the class in everything. But dh and I are both teachers (dh at my dc's school), so we have a pretty good idea of where they are compared with others.

My DD is top set in Y6 because I asked at parents' evening.

She's never been told that she's top of the class though.

As Sats didnt take place this year, how will her GCSE targets be set?

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander I call bullshit on that teacher never having had a child work out the “hexagon” table, or whatever shape it was. My child had shape tables in Y1 and loads of the kids worked it out.

@MintyMabel

She lied.

Why must everyone always shit on parents and say the teachers have lied when they say something nice about their kid? Why would this teacher need to say anything at all. The mum didn’t ask lies he the only one to have worked out the “code” the teacher volunteered that information. Seems a strange thing to lie about.

Teachers might be economical with the truth and soften the blow if a child is performing very poorly or is badly behaved, but if a child is doing very well, they will say so without having to lie. DD’s teacher uses words like excellent, exceptional, outstanding. We know she isn’t lying because we have eyes and can tell where she is in comparison to her peer group generally.

They know. They don’t care
Some might not but who is in the top group and who is going to move in to it is a hot topic of conversation with DD’s group of friends.

I think that was part of my post you quoted. I did not say teachers lied about a child's performance, it was specifically about a child working out what the different tables were. The children always know - they (or their parents) might not tell the teacher they know, but they do, so they know if they have been moved up or down. As I have previously said, it is not considered best practice to group primary school children by ability these days, and give all the children in those groups specific work, but lots of schools obviously are still sticking to the old ways.

As already said i am aware teacher may (or may not) have been lying.
As it was 8 or 9 years ago now I really couldn't get myself worked up about it either way, I was just sharing my experience. And afaik their school no longer seat by ability.
The same teacher also taught ds1 and never lied about or exaggerated his abilities so not sure why she would about ds2. But whatever.
My primary days are done thank fuck!

@fib88

I was told at the very beginning of my sons school life that he was exceptional and working above his expected range ... He was put on gifted and talented early on, made class prefect and voted school councils every year. He became became Head Boy bores by pupils and teachers. Got 15 straight A GCSE’s and 4 A A Levels and now at University ... that how you know your child’s top of the class!!!!

He is a normal boy without any weirdness as you might expect for somebody so smart. He can be a “know it all” in an argument and I do worry he’s never had a Real disappointment Academically or otherwise which we all need to learn humility etc.

But why is he 'top of the class'? Is he also the best at art, star player on all the sports teams etc.? He's obviously very academically able - why does that need to be validated by comparing him to others and him being labelled the best? If another pupil achieved exactly the same as him it wouldn't lessen his achievements. Why does it matter?

My foster child is top of his class for sport. Wins all of the races he is allowed to enter for 200m, 800m and cross country race, and in times that are faster than children in the higher age group. Is always picked for school sports team as captain in Swimming, Cricket, Football etc. Swims for his district and plays cricket for his county.

He did not win either of the School Sports prizes though. One of those went to a child who parents at award ceremony were told liked sport and the other to a child who helped the teacher pick up equipment after sports lesson in his play time. This is despite one prize supposedly being for effort and one for attainment. Neither of the children who won one of the Sports Awards have attained anything in sport to our knowledge.

We were told our child won one award for 100 per cent attendance and a second award for Form Award for modelling excellent behaviour to other children. Child upset and threw both awards in cupboard as did not want to win those. Says school teachers are unfair and cheat at cricket as stand outside of rope and catch ball and say he is out.

I have no idea where my child is in their peer group with schooling.

Doesnt your child's school provide end of term reports, and Parent evenings where you discuss the child with their teacher?

@2bazookas yes I do attend parent evenings and discuss how my child is progressing at school but I have never discussed or been told by a teacher where my child ranks in comparison to their peers.

My child is happy and engaged with school and that's my priority.

With other parents that I speak with we may talk of struggles our children are having but very rarely do we discuss them being top of their class.

Off course there are some parents who like to tell you have easy their child finds school or what they are doing at home out with school which I can only assume is to impress you as it's not something that we are doing but to those parents I just nod and smile.

As someone else mentioned resilience is a focus as a family for our child, I work within mental health and the amount of children and young adults who need input is heart breaking, I believe supporting your child to develop coping mechanisms to deal with life events to be far more important than their reading level when 6!

I guess all parents have different priorities which may be due to their experiences and I am going by mine.

It's far easier to fix reading and writing abilities with time but fixing mental health and resilience is far harder!