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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I just can't

194 replies

Notupforit · 27/06/2020 19:06

I posted a few days ago about not wanting to go to a waterpark for my sister's birthday because I hate my post-baby body. We ended up going and had a nice time - except that I look back at all the photos and I look so disgusting that I just want to cry. I've realised that my breasts are by far the biggest problem. They're huge and saggy and I HATE them. I've attached a picture that my husband (who is also, apparently, the world's most incompetent photographer) took on the day so you can see what I mean. Believe it or not, I actually have a waist underneath the giant sagging balls of fat hanging off my body.
Now my husband has arranged for us to see his best friend and his fiancée tomorrow. She's obviously gorgeous and slim. They're very friendly but every single time we see them, he comments on my weight. He's very into fitness so he's not really even speaking from an aesthetic perspective and he'd say exactly the same thing to men and women so it's nothing perverted or sexual. In the context, he's definitely not being out of line or rude. It just means that I know he'll acknowledge and notice how fat and hideous I look.
I don't want anyone to see me but I can't just never leave the house. I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
missmouse101 · 27/06/2020 22:21

OP, I'd be so happy if I looked like you. You look absolutely great and I have no idea why you think you look so bad?

tara66 · 27/06/2020 22:35

Oh dear, that means I can't go out.

monkeyonthetable · 27/06/2020 22:36

OP

  1. You look bloody gorgeous in that picture. Curvy in a good way not in a way that really means fat.
  2. Please don't hate your body. DH is currently putting together a photo book for DC. It has loads of photos of me when DC were young. I was so slim. I looked great. At the time I thought I looked fat. I'd love to be that size again. 3.) Tell your DH's mate that you've had a baby. It changes your shape. You are a person not a machine and your priority is being a mother not a gym bunny right now. You are confident you have your priorities right. If he starts advising you on fitness, tell him he needs some help with social etiquette. If he'd like you to, you can be his advisor.
Crownduals · 27/06/2020 22:40

@SpillTheTeaa

Fishing for compliments. I'm not throwing you any bouquets. You don't need them. If you have the courage to upload a photo to a world wide site you're not lacking in confidence one little bit.

This. Literally read the OP and my eyes nearly got stuck at the back of my head.

I’m glad someone else posted this. You have a great body . Have some confidence and stop caring what people think
GeorgiaWeLoveYou · 27/06/2020 22:42

OP, your body is amazing. I would say try some different bikins/swimming costumes though for a bit more support (will be easier when you're allowed to try on in shops again).

This 'friend' of your DH's is rude and his behaviour is unacceptable. Cannot believe that his wife thinks it's okay for him to comment on someone's weight...let alone your DH thinking that's okay. Not acceptable at all and you should tell your DH that you don't want to see that man again.

ItsNotAGameOfSubbuteoMatthew · 27/06/2020 22:48

Honestly if I didn't think anything nice I would scroll on and not comment (something more posters should do sometimes 🙄) You look fabulous! Honestly. Yes I can see what you mean because they are large but I definitely wouldn't think what you think if I saw them straight off. They're a nice shape and nothing Bravissimo couldn't provide a nice shelf for. Mine are snooker balls in pockets and Bravissimo made me like them again.

SundayGirl86 · 27/06/2020 22:56

You look amazing and your husband’s friend is a rude, ill mannered idiot.

XingMing · 27/06/2020 23:04

You have a lovely figure... but agree with all the comments suggesting a better-fitting swimsuit, if that's what you will be wearing. Or a bikini, because your physique looks great and it is often easier to buy separates than a cozzie.

And if you can afford to, it would be a good time to keep your breasts beautiful by buying them a nice, pretty, everyday supportive bra or two.

Looking great is the greatest retaliation.

BIWI · 28/06/2020 09:41

Where are you that you're allowed to go to a waterpark? I thought places like that were all closed because of Covid?

PolloDePrimavera · 28/06/2020 10:13

Water places are closed in the UK.

CreditCrackers · 28/06/2020 20:35

Outdoor waterparks are very much open.

Crunchymum · 28/06/2020 21:41

@CreditCrackers

Where? Confused

IwishIhadaMargarita · 28/06/2020 22:16

I’ll swap, I’m actually fat unlike you. Also say to friend ‘my weight is not your business unless I’m sitting on your face!’

MagnoliaJustice · 29/06/2020 18:58

@CreditCrackers

Outdoor waterparks are very much open.
Not in the part of the UK where I live, they're not. Where are they open? I would love to go to a waterpark for a day out, especially on a gloriously sunny day.
Scarlettpixie · 29/06/2020 19:07

You look great and with a supportive/underwired cossie would feel so much better. Nothing wrong with big boobs, they just need a bit of support.

Your husbands friend is a dick btw.

MrsDrudge · 29/06/2020 19:15

I think your figure is great - but as other posters have said you might feel more confident in a swimsuit with more support.
Your husbands friend sounds horrible. Can you avoid meeting up? Is your husband supportive when his rude and ignorant friend comments on your appearance?
And remind the rude friend that your body has conceived, grown, nurtured, given birth to and feeds a new human being - you have a strong , wonderful, miraculous body capable of doing all this. Be proud of it, you look beautiful!!

PinkyBrain · 29/06/2020 19:17

You look lovely op, you’d benefit from a bit of swimsuit scaffolding but wouldn’t we all! Don’t worry about your DH’s friend, fitness is his career so he’s coming at it from an entirely different perspective. Different is not better, you are gorgeous and voluptuous and natural. Grin

CreditCrackers · 29/06/2020 19:36

@Crunchymum @MagnoliaJustice I went here www.cotswoldcountryparkandbeach.com/

MagnoliaJustice · 30/06/2020 16:18

[quote CreditCrackers]**@Crunchymum* @MagnoliaJustice* I went here www.cotswoldcountryparkandbeach.com/[/quote]
Oh that looks lovely, thank you. I thought everywhere was still Covid closed.

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